CH 14

Name:I am Destined to Die Author:
The emotion that slowly grips your heart is either fear or despair. The way your body trembles, it’s definitely fear. But it is not fear from physical pain or the pressure of the situation. It is the fear of a man with a false face, saying and doing things that a false face would never do. The shattering of expectations and familiarity came as a greater shock than I expected.

I was wrong about Heo-sang.

“Do you still have nothing to say?”

The tension tightens my breath, but I can’t escape the black grip. I’m not even allowed to avert my gaze.

I keep my mouth shut, and Simeon slips his fingers around my collar. The thorns that had been digging into the back of his neck slipped out, and he breathed easier. As I breathed raggedly, Simeon pulled something out of his jacket pocket and held it out to me.

“You’re going to pretend you don’t know this?”

Notes. Notes that I wrote down about Simeon. I even went so far as to compare similar traits and habits with Heo-sang. No wonder they suspected me of being a spy behind the Apostle’s back.

But I made no excuses. If I opened my mouth, I would have sold my own grave. Then Simeon unfolded his notebook and pointed to a spot, a black marker where I had written Heo-sang name and then hastily erased it.

“What did you write here?”

Damn it. No matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn’t come up with a good reason. At times like this, it’s best to just walk away. I put a griddle on my face and stare him straight in the eye.

“Nothing, I’m just frustrated because I don’t know who you are, so I painted it on.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“Yeah. You’re not going to believe anything I say until it gives you the answer you want anyway.”

Simeon burst out laughing at my words. I don’t know if it’s because I’m being clever or because I’m being ridiculous. He had a wry smile on his face and seemed to be enjoying the tug-of-war. The next moment, Simeon pulled a photo out from between his notes and showed it to me.

“And this one?”

Now that you’ve seen the photo I secretly took, there’s really no escape. I was supposed to delete them all as soon as I sent them to the client, but I had the nerve to set one aside and secretly keep it.

I glanced up at Simeon in despair.

“If I tell you the truth, will you believe me?”

Simeon raised one eyebrow as if to say, ‘Go ahead.’ This is where our fate will be decided, he confessed, meekly clasping his hands together like a student called to the office.

“I was commissioned to take a picture of you, but I didn’t know when or where you’d show up, so I did some research and jotted it down in my notes.”

“Who would do that?”

“I don’t know, it’s anonymous.”

In fact, according to the contract, I’m not even supposed to mention it. But who cares about contracts when you could be mistaken for a spy and disappear without a trace?

Simeon frowned subtly as I watched him nervously.

“So you’re saying that you were asked to take a picture of me anonymously, and you did just that?”

“Yes.”

I nodded sincerely, and Simeon smirked as if to say, ‘Don’t joke with me.’

“That’s a plausible lie.”

“I guess you don’t believe me after all.”

“Would you believe Hajae Shin, the man who kept these notes and photos?”

I… I don’t believe it either. Honestly, it sounds a bit like a lie. But what if it’s all real?

I sighed in unspeakable frustration. If he thought it was an act, Simeon asked, thrusting the photo in front of me once more.

“Then why do you have a print of this?”

“Because….”

“Isn’t the commission over once you send the file?”

He was so persistent, I couldn’t help but blurt out the truth.

“I just… I wanted to keep it.”

It’s true, but you won’t believe me.

As expected, Simeon smiled softly and shook his head.

“You should have said you’re a stalker, then I would have thought you were cute.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I.”

It’s frustrating, and it’s driving me crazy. Of course, this whole situation can be cleared up by saying, ‘I was wondering if you were Heo-sang, so I wrote down your characteristics in a notebook, and then I thought you were Heo-sang, so I kept the photo.’ But there’s no reason to say that unless you’re really crazy.

Biting his lip for lack of anything else to say, Simeon tiled in an impatient voice.

“You do realise that you’re very suspicious, don’t you?”

“…Yes. I know….”

”You know what?”

“That’s all I know.”

Simeon looked up with a look of frustration on his face, but he didn’t bat an eye. There was no point in playing for sympathy in front of an iron fortress. Where was all the compassion, and what was left was a cold smile.

“You’ll have to stay here for a while, until the charges are cleared.”

I had imagined torture as the worst-case scenario, but I was relieved that they wouldn’t do anything to me right away.

Simeon then slipped the photo back into the notebook and put it in my pocket. It was nothing special, and I stared at his fingers as they moved in front of my eyes. Those long, graceful fingers are the same as ever.

But as I watched, I noticed a small cut on his index finger. It looked like he had been pricked by a thorn while pulling on the leash. For some reason, I couldn’t leave him alone and grabbed his wrist.

”There.”

His bushy eyebrows creased slightly. But there was no sign of displeasure.

“Did it finally occur to you to tell me?”

“Nope. I said everything I needed to say and….”

I brought his hand up to my nose and examined the wound closely. I thought it was just a scratch, but the oozing blood made it seem deeper than it was. For some reason, out of habit, I thought he would just leave it alone.

“Look at this…. I knew you were going to get hurt.”

He held up his injured hand to Simeon, demanding to see with his own eyes how bad the wound was.

“Make sure to treat it. Don’t let it bother you.”

“…….”

“Hey, are you listening…….”

I was expecting him to give me a coy smile and say something along the lines of ‘what does it matter’, but Simeon’s reaction was not at all what I expected. His brow furrowed slightly, and he stared at my face with a confused look in his eyes.

Simeon’s smile faded, and he suddenly looked like ‘Heo-sang’.

No, Simeon was Heo-sang from the beginning. He was just hiding what was inside with a smile. And I dismissed him as a different person, a ‘Simeon’ so different from the one I remembered.

“What’s wrong?”

I asked, and Simeon’s expression changed. There was no longer any pretence in his cold smile.

“Are you worried about me?”

Simeon didn’t jerk his wrist away from my grasp, but instead pulled it towards me, and I rose from the bed as if being dragged, stopping in front of him. We were at least a foot apart in height. Add to that his physique, and I felt twice as intimidated.

”That’s….”

I started to walk away, but suddenly a large hand reached out to me. I instinctively closed my eyes, not knowing what to expect, and heard a maniacal laugh. I felt a chill on the back of my thorny neck.

“Shouldn’t you be worried about this one first?”

“Ugh….”

It was only a nudge, but the wound had swollen red and felt more sensitive than usual. The cold touch that brushed across my flesh was creepy, like a snake slithering past. When I flinched at the unfamiliar touch, Simeon withdrew his hand and whispered in a low voice.

“You’re a funny man, you are.”

Then Simeon turned and left the room. I flopped down on the bed long after he was gone.

“Hah…….”

I knew we’d be reunited someday, but I didn’t think it would be on this misunderstanding. But now, I have no intention of revealing my identity. Once the charges are dropped, I’ll be out of here and we’ll never see each other again.

The problem is, I don’t know when the charges will be dropped. Whether it will be a day or a few days is anyone’s guess. I may run into Simeon a few more times until his misconceptions about me are dispelled.

Still, I’m not as scared of Simeon as I was the first time we met. Honestly, when I had just woken up in this room, I was expecting to see a cold-blooded man behind that false veneer, but after all…. Heo-sang is Heo-sang.

“You’re still the same, aren’t you?”

Raised alone since childhood, he’d never been particularly good at showing pain, so when I noticed a small scar or a change in his complexion and worried about it, he was confused, not sure how to react. And just now, I’d seen a glimpse of the old him in Simeon.

Though he has changed in many ways, he is still Heo-sang. A boy who resembles a cold winter.

I was both relieved and puzzled. Seven years is not a short time, but I didn’t expect him to have changed as much as he has. His personality and mannerisms are completely different.

“What made you that way….”

I’m the same person with a different appearance, but the same personality, and I’m the same person with a different appearance but a different personality.

Although we are similar in many ways, our paths are different, and our future is far from flat.