CH 9

Name:I am Destined to Die Author:
I muttered in a deliberate whisper next to Heo-sang staring into space.

“Is it a ghost?”

“Hyung. …This is a cathedral.”

“Haha, that makes sense.”

I casually held out a paper bag and changed the subject.

“Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

He took the envelope, slightly nervous, and untied the ribbon around the handle. His eyes widened as soon as he saw the long object inside.

“Hyung….”

“A cube called Megaminx. Amazing, isn’t?”

I presented him with a cube, just as I had when I first met him. The Megaminx cube was something I would never have attempted, but if it was Heo-sang, I’m sure he’d figure it out in no time. He stared at the cube for a long time, so I made up a long list of excuses for it to be cool.

“Actually, I wanted to get you something expensive, but I didn’t know what you wanted, so I thought about it for a while, and then I got you this. It’s not something I’d picked out on a whim, so…”

“I know.”

He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around me. I’d never been openly embarrassed in front of him before, but I wasn’t expecting this. I stood dumbfounded, unable to hug him back or push him away as he buried his face in my hair.

“Thanks, hyung.”

When did you get so tall? When I first met you just a year ago, you were a foot shorter than me. Now you’re probably much taller than me. I’m glad I did, and I’m glad I was able to remain a trustworthy teacher and big brother until the end.

“You like it?”

“Yes. …It’s the best gift I’ve ever received.”

I felt a strong heartbeat against my closely pressed chest. There was no way to tell who it belonged to. I didn’t want to know. I’d rather my heart just stop beating as it was, so I could end up with my true feelings, always masked by a mischievous smile, never revealed.

“What, do you even know how to say nice things now?”

“It’s not an empty word.”

“I know. You’ve always been serious.”

I was always joking with you.

“Hyung…”

“Huh?”

“Are you going to stay with me?”

I still look at him.

“Yes. Of course.”

I lie casually.

We chatted until dawn, and then he fell asleep. He smiled slightly and looked relaxed, as if he wasn’t having any more nightmares. In the meantime, I wrote a letter and put it on his bedside table. Somehow, I couldn’t help but feel that if I disappeared without saying anything, he would find me.

[Sang-yi. I don’t want you to be surprised when you wake up in the morning and find me gone, so I write a few words. I’m actually moving away due to my parents’ situation, and I don’t think I can say it face to face, so a letter will have to do. Thank you for everything and take care.]

I was about to write that I would send another letter when I had a chance. It seemed like Heo-sang to keep waiting for a letter that would never come. If you ever hear from me, it will be in an obituary seven years from now.

“…Goodbye.”

With these last words, I left the room, leaving the letter in the place of the priest to whom I had been so indebted. My steps were easier than I thought. Perhaps because I was fleeing, not parting.

It’s dawn, and the sky is still pale. I headed to the bus station to go to the terminal. The first bus was more crowded than I expected. I sat at the very back and stared at the fading cathedral in disbelief.

I knew I could get away that easily.

Snap – thud.

The brakes failed and the bus skidded around a curve and hit a guardrail. Unable to gain speed, the bus plunged off the cliff. The bus quickly became a pandemonium. People were ejected from their chairs, thrown past me and into the windscreen, and even people holding on to the handles for dear life were knocked off. Before I had time to register what was happening, I was slammed into the door and knocked unconscious.

“Ugh….”

I woke up coughing from the foul smell of oil. The first thing I saw was grey smoke everywhere. It looked like a fuel canister had burst and caught fire as it crashed to the ground. Everything as far as the eye could see was engulfed in flames, and it was hell.

To make matters worse, one of my eyes wouldn’t open. I couldn’t even feel my arm, which was pierced by shards of glass and broken. The flames were definitely coming at me from the open, ready to consume me at any moment. Still, I kept my composure and stood up and looked around.

“I…”

I tried calling the person sitting across from me, but there was no response. I tried calling the person seated directly behind me and the driver. But the whole bus was silent. My vision was obscured by grey smoke, but I could tell. There was no way a normal person could have survived such a terrible accident.

All I wanted to do was collapse and go to sleep, but I had to move. I’ll survive being consumed by those flames, but I don’t want to be found at the scene of the accident and taken to the hospital. I didn’t want the world to know about the curse on my body. Maybe my mum, who had the curse, did too. If I were seriously injured, I would never go to a hospital, but would seek medical attention from a fellow awakener, but I have no such friend.

I dragged my aching body out through the broken window. A banner reading “Beware of wildfires” was burning in pieces. I walked and walked, avoiding the flames. My broken ribs screamed with every step I took on my left foot, but I couldn’t stop. I must find a quiet place to hide, where there are no people.

I limped down the mountain road and saw a small village. I was delighted to see the word “inn” on a sign in the distance. I grabbed something from the old clothes bin, covered up the mess, and walked into the inn.

A rattle.

The bell rang clearly as the door opened. The boss, who was coming out of his room at dusk, stiffened as soon as he saw me. He must have thought I was a beggar wrapped up in some old clothes. He looked me up and down, his gaze wary.

“Name, how many days are you staying?”

“Choi… for…”

My voice didn’t quite come out right. Sensing something was amiss, the boss tossed me a key and slammed the side door, leaving me in the dilapidated room at the end of the hallway for the time being.

I slept for three days straight on a tattered futon on a moldy floor. Sometimes I woke up with hunger, but I didn’t have the strength to lift a finger. The pain of burning skin and crushing bones took a back seat.

I didn’t find out exactly what happened until five days after the accident.

I walked into the bathroom to wash my face and stood transfixed in the mirror. Shards of glass were lodged in my neck, broken ribs poked through charred flesh, and my arms hung limp like snapped reeds. Worst of all, my face, crushed to the floor of the bus, was contorted as if in mourning.

To be alive in this condition, I’m a monster.

I had to go home to treat myself and I left the room in my old clothes. The boss swallowed hard when he saw me after almost a week. He didn’t even ask for rent because he was so afraid of Moore.

I took out all the money I had in my hand, slammed it down on the counter, and scribbled on my notepad.

[Taxi]

Recognising the squiggles, the boss hurriedly picked up the phone. As he hailed a cab, the morning news was in full swing on the television. Behind the serious face of the anchor, he saw a familiar sight.

A charred bus. The ashes fluttering through the mangled trees.

[Bus crash in Jeongdong-eup. Driver and all 6 passengers confirmed dead.]

All dead. As soon as I saw the subtitle, I ran out of the inn like a fugitive.

As soon as I got home in a taxi, I frantically searched the community. I had one goal: a cure, and I bought every single cure I could find, whether it was a Class C, Class B, or a Hunter with healing abilities.

Naturally, I used up a lot of money. In the end, I even dipped into my parents’ life insurance money, which I didn’t want to spend for the rest of my life, but I had no choice. With my ribs poking through my flesh and my skin disfigured by burns, I couldn’t recognise my shape, but what else mattered?

After that, I took medicines flown in from all over the country, every single day. As the days went by, my dark house became a mountain of unlabeled bottles. It looked like an alcoholic’s room. No, I’d rather drink myself into a stupor, but that doesn’t describe the pain of bones snapping back into place. Every time a new piece of burned skin appeared, I wanted to cut it off with a knife.

Every day was hell. But I endured. I couldn’t die, so I had to endure. And finally, at exactly one month, I was fully recovered, however there was no trace of my past self.

“Haha, you look like a different person.”

His facial bones had reattached and his features had changed. His voice was lower as a result of the damage to his vocal cords, and somehow his hair and skin colour had become lighter. He looked like a snake that had molted. It would take some getting used to, but somehow, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Better late than never….”

The accident that day killed John and reborn Shin Ha-jae. So, let’s forget everything and start over. This time, we’ll end up with no one left behind.