Chapter 127: Trigger

Chapter 127: Trigger

After the 2 unexpected visitors said their goodbyes to us, they finally took their leave. They were waving their hands at us as they walked out of the mansion. We just watched them disappear from our sight before going to the backside of the mansion, where I invited Tanya for something I really wanted to talk about.

We stood up at the center of the quadrangle that used to be an arena. She crossed her arms while staring at me, she was standing in front of me, behind her was the mansion.

"I have been trying to do it again, but no matter what I do, I couldn't get myself transformed into it again."New novel chapters are published on

She narrowed her eyes. "To what?"

I looked around while scratching my head, the only person in the place beside me and Tanya was Misha who was watching from the tea table from afar while sipping on a cup of tea. "My Bloodlust form."

A confused but amused smile instantly emerged on her face. "Your what?"

"Don't look at me like that, I just thought I should give it a name. Given what feeling I felt back when I was in that form, that's the best name I came up with, for me at least."

I remember back then when I transformed, I felt an irresistible desire for death, the only thing I wanted to do was to kill everyone who was not my ally. Pretty fuck up and terrifying form to be honest, but at least I could still differentiate allies and enemies and I had full control of my own body and mind, even though my desire to kill people was incredibly overwhelming and extremely hard to resist. Fortunately, I didn't end up hurting any of my allies.

"Right. So, you want to learn how to transform into your... Bloodlust form?" She released her crossed arms. "I am afraid that I can't help you with that, due to the fact that I don't even know how it works."

I put my hands on my waists. "Really?"

She nodded. "Ca-... my former meruem friend only transformed once back when we were together, and that was the last time I saw her."

I put my hand on my chin. "Was that the first time she transformed?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Please don't rub it in. I don't even like what is happening right now."

She looked up at me and showed me the most discouraging disgusted face that I had ever seen in my entire life. She looked directly into my eyes while staring at me like I was some kind of stinky poop. "Casimir... you are a monster."

A few seconds of staring at each other passed again. I closed my eyes while clicking my tongue. "Honestly, rather than making me angry, it just turned me on instead- but not because I'm into that shit. I'm telling you, I am not."

"Of course." She chuckled.

However, her chuckle was full of relief that I could clearly hear as I watched her.

"I see. So it's not it. Then, how can I do it again?"

"Casimir, may I ask. Were you really enraged at that time?"

I paused for a few seconds. "Now that I think about it, I wasn't actually angry. I just straight-up wanted to slaughter them all for no particular reason."

Tanya slowly nodded "Based on what I know, meruems would only awaken when they finally embraced who they are. Maybe before, you had an aspect of yourself that you really feared or despised. But now, You have finally accepted that aspect of yours as part of you and became your own strength." She walked back toward the mansion and I followed her. "That's why you can no longer trigger it anymore... because that specific aspect of you is no longer part of your insecurities. At least that's what I think."

"Ah... that's probably the reason."

"Don't think too much about it, you don't need that Bloodlust form anyway... and I don't think you ever will." She looked back at me with an assuring smile on her face. "You are better off without it."

"I see."