CH 112

“You smell like Lily. The scent of the skin of a newborn baby 10 years ago.”

I am a monster covered in the corpse of a dead baby.

“You’re the only one in this world that is like me.”

I deceived everyone who loved me.

The fact was so heavy that I tried to run away.

“Lily.”

But I liked the family who called me by the nickname of the deceased princess.

I loved them. I wanted them to be happy. I harbored contradictory affection for the fake idea of dreaming of running away. 

“My dear daughter.”

I had reached the end of the truth.

Now that I found out that my body was the real Lily, I couldn’t hide the truth that I was a fake.

“Me… Blame me.” 

I murmured towards the darkness.

“Hit me. Hit me. It hurts like death.” 

The darkness was silent. It left me alone in endless loneliness, as always.

But I didn’t stop and thought of Alan’s smiling face. A smile that was much more natural than when we first met.

When I got back to reality, I had to erase that smile with my own hands.

When I remembered that fact, my head started spinning. I gave strength to my legs and held them up so I wouldn’t fall.

The power of the demon would come out when I was in danger.

Since this was a dream made up by Garou, it was obvious that hurting my body would not work. If I shed red blood, it would all be an illusion.

So I had to find a way to inflict pain on myself. A method that worked even in my dreams, I could easily think of it.

It was about chopping the mind.

“I have something to do.”

The emotions buried in fear burst out like a ruptured dam.

The guilt that was always entangled in me, the love that bloomed without me knowing, the sadness of not being loved as the complete me.

The deep feelings that I couldn’t tell anyone soaked my whole body.

My heart ached as if pierced by an ice pick. Deep despair weighed me down.

That was exactly what I was hoping for.

“It’s something only me can do.”

A cold wind blew in the tip of the outstretched hand. The sound of Garou’s laughter, which could be heard non-stop from behind, stopped.

Boom!

The underside of my feet vibrated with a heavy rupture.

I opened my eyes slowly.

The endless wilderness shook like an earthquake. The dry ground cracked like cookies, and a cool breeze came up from under the cliff and brushed my cheeks.

The wind smelled like lilies. It was something I knew well.

As I was about to move, Garou applauded slowly.

Clap, clap, clap. 

When I turned back, the boy with golden eyes gently waved his hand.

“See you again, Lilietta.”

Garou’s eyes, which rose like a cat’s, were gently curved.

“I’ll come to offer you the most beautiful bouquet in the world.”

Garou leaned his cheek against his hand and whispered.

It might sound crazy, but his eyes were as affectionate as looking at the person he loves.

“…No, don’t come.”

I tightened my eyes and glared at the brazen face.

“This time I’m going to find you.”

The wind that blew from below the distant cliff brushed away the sand from my clothes.

If you took just one step, you would slip to the bottom of the neverending darkness.

But the fall wasn’t scary at all. There was nothing I feared more than Alan.

“I will visit the Crown Prince’s Palace on my end. Just like how you suddenly came to the Duke’s Castle.”

At the end of my words, a threatening cry was mixed without me realizing.

Garou chuckled as if this situation was really funny. I turned my back on him and threw myself into the endless darkness.

“So don’t come into my dreams again.”

The faint laughter disappeared in an instant. I chose to go back to reality like that.

***

“Open your eyes. please…!”

Someone was urgently shaking my shoulders.

I opened my eyes slowly. It was dim around me, but thanks to the light the size of my little finger, I could see the face of the man hugging me.

“Haa…”

Hugo sighed heavily. I dreamt for a while, but he looked haggard.

His white hair was all messed up, and his glasses were shattered; it looked dangerous, like it was going to pierce his eyes at any moment.

“I thought something happened to you… Healing magic wasn’t coming out properly…”

Hugo mumbled and rubbed his face. The hand that touched my cheek trembled like an aspen.

I stared blankly at Hugo, who was completely exhausted, and fumbled around my collarbone.

My mother’s necklace was gone. Only traces of wear by the old string remained on the empty nape of my neck.

‘It’s not a dream.’

The fantasy I saw was not just a silly dream. From memories of the past to the crown prince’s dream, everything was real.

I witnessed the truth with the power of demons.

Dun dun, there was a rumble. The piles of dirt around us shook.

“Lily!”

Surprised, Hugo hugged me tightly. A lot of dust settled on our heads.

The shaking of the ground subsided after a while. It felt like an earthquake had occurred not only in my dream but also in reality.

I rested my head in Hugo’s arms and remembered the situation just before I fainted.

‘The necklace broke and the basement was collapsing. I fell down like this…’

Apparently we were trapped under the rubble of the collapsed building.

I was taken aback as I looked at Hugo’s condition.

A stream of blood ran down his forehead. Because of the weak magical light, his bleeding face was pale like a sick person’s.

“Brother Hugo…”

I kept my mouth shut.

Hugo’s sapphire eyes fluttered anxiously. He seemed to be concerned about the same thing as me.

We both called each other by familiar names. Hugo called me ‘Lily’ like I am his little sister, and I called him ‘Brother Hugo’.

Even though we knew our relationship had changed.

A heavy silence passed.

Hugo patted my face with his dusty hands and spat out.

“I shouldn’t have read the letter.”

He pushed the broken shards away with the back of his hand and pressed down on both his eyelids. It seemed he found it difficult to make eye contact with me.

“It would have been better not to know such a truth.”

“…….”

“No, in the first place… it was strange to be obsessed with a younger sister who couldn’t even remember my face. I should not have been born with a mutant.” 

Hugo shivered. Drops of water fell through the broken glasses.

It was tears. Even though Hugo was hugging me as if protecting me, he wept like a feeble child.

I carefully patted his face.

“…Brother.”

I couldn’t even say sorry. If I apologized, I felt like I was begging him to end it on this note.

So instead of an unforgivable apology, I decided to tell the truth.

“The words in the letter… it’s all true.”

Hugo’s shoulders trembled.

That would be a shock. Even if he already knew the truth, imagining it and having it confirmed directly felt completely different.

Hugo was the only Spirit in the Beast family. Neither Alan nor Pedro could have fully understood his loneliness.

He spent the rest of his life looking for someone who could understand his pain. Meanwhile, his younger sister, whom he believed was the other mixed-race Spirit, returned.

I knew how comforting being with the same kind was. How sad it was when the person he trusted so much was actually not on his side.

My lies left an indelible scar on him.

“…I am a fake.”

Hugo shook his head as if not to say more. He looked as if he had been stabbed with a dagger.

Nevertheless, I continued to speak.

“You can curse at me. It’s okay to hit me hard. But before that, there is something I need to tell you.”

The pain of being beaten really didn’t matter. I was ready to be punished as long as they didn’t kill me.

But before Hugo tortured me with an iron skewer, I had to tell him one thing.

“This body belongs to Lily.”

I put my hand to my chest and whispered.

Hugo raised his head with a puzzled expression.

“…What?”

“Literally. I was resurrected from the dead Lily’s body. Thanks to black magic.”

“The, then…”

“No.”

I shook my head hastily before Hugo’s face could light up with hope.

“I’m not Lily, I’m the monster Brother hates. Dressed in Lily’s skin…”

I groped Hugo’s face and took off his glasses. And I pressed my index finger on the broken glasses.

My fingertips were cracked, and round drops of blood formed.

My veins pounded. My left eye’s field of vision was instantly reversed, and my hand was dyed black.

I raised the demon’s hand in front of him as if asking him to look at it. The moment Hugo’s eyes widened, the magical light that flickered like a lamp in the wind suddenly went out.

Stark darkness fell upon our shoulders.

I lowered my hand and let out a bitter laugh.

“Since I was born… I was a fake.”

Not only was I a fake, I was the monster Hugo hated the most. I was a parasite covered in human skin. I was the perfect opposite of the Spirit sister that Hugo loved.

“Brother. No, Hugo. You are…”

I opened my mouth with difficulty and called him by name. 

“You want it to be back under the ground? I, this body.”

Hugo didn’t answer. Because he lowered his head, I couldn’t even tell his expression from my demonized left eye.

“Lily’s family…”

I bit my lips and put the truth I wanted to turn away from.

“So that they can mourn the dead child.”