Chapter 406: My Goku Experience

Chapter 406: My Goku Experience

What you have to understand is that I was trying to find my way to becoming a man. A real man, not those buffed twats they use to convince us to buy perfume for men. And calling it cologne doesnt help. If you want something to sound like it smells wonderful, maybe dont name it after the fourth densest conurbation of German people.

I had reached an age when simply meandering through life wasnt acceptable. Soaring through the air in a magic-guided missile wasnt exactly a gratifying experience, either. I was doing my best not to think about the landing.

Personal goals are important. There may have been skyborne ships in my way, but they were the least of my obstacles.

Not that I had to worry about that for the moment. I had taken a timeout and was currently floating outside my spherical flying coffin, taking in the sights.

How to deal with the Armada? Blow them all up? Smash through with my powers? Teleport through them leaving a trail of debris in my wake no, that would just be stupid. I had time. I could think of a better way out of this.

I was twenty. I was pretty sure Id had a birthday since I got here, but it was hard to be sure. How long was a day here? How long was a year?

I must have hit the big two-zero ( no one calls it that, but I felt it was okay when your life expectancy was any time now) and I could no longer behave like a kid.

Life in a wild and unruly fantasy world was a struggle. But the most traumatic and pressured times are when we are able to break past our limits, apparently.

Not that change is always an improvement. Not everyone evolves into Charizard, there are always a few who end up as Wigglytuff. I think you know what Im saying.

I had just shot myself out of Fengarad like it was a cannon and I was a human cannonball. I had been very eager to get out of there, leave everyone behind and try my luck with whatever I might find on the island.

There was a distinct possibility that I had panicked. Not because there were bad guys on the way or because violence was imminent incoming butchness was a constant in my life, I had learned how to cope with the threat to my masculinity.

But something inside me still wanted to be perceived as masculine, and what that really means is someone who can take care of others. Protect, provide for, improve conditions.

What Im trying to convey is the deep-seated and horrifying realisation that I as a male (I have the DNA evidence to prove it) have about what I expect of myself. The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

Frankly, its just unrealistic. Which is good, I dont try to act like Clint Eastwood (I mean Clint Eastwood in a movie Clint Eastwood IRL is just an actor who puts on makeup and gets other guys to fall over when he fake-punches them). I would never think of myself as someone able to take on Conor Mcgregor in a fight or Usain Bolt in a race. My clear lack of ability does me a favour. It lets me off the hook from having to try.

But now, in this world, I was suddenly in the octagon. I had abilities that put me up there with the big boys, and I didnt really like it. I didnt feel ready or prepared.

It must be a lot easier to play the role of arrogant tosser if youve been practising for it your whole life. Id only been in training for the last few months, nowhere near my 10,000 hours.

In Fengarad, I had suddenly felt the enormity of what I needed to do, and also the closeness of it. It was now or never, and I quite fancied never.

Basically, I was running away. I wanted to be a man, but not right now.

Even if I had quite a good chance at pulling off the win, the path that would then put me on the never-ending road to becoming a very important fellow made me feel like I was walking into a trap.

My whole life, I had been someone no one considered worth very much, and I was happy to agree with them. Seemed like a fair exchange of ideas. I supposed having so many people rely on me, people who didnt like me or appreciate my efforts in any way other than the results, was unsettling.

I was like the guy who had been sent to fix a thing that needed fixing, but Id been sent by the people who had broken it in the first place.

You may think I was being needlessly insecure and paranoid. Hello, Im Colin. Apparently we havent met.

The weird thing was that Jenny could no doubt tell what I was going through. Claire could as well, probably. Neither of them tried to stop me. I got the feeling Maurice had told them this was what Id do and to let me go.

Everyone standing back and waiting to see if I pulled it off or fucked it up wasnt helping my state of mind, either.

In any case, Id made my move and here I was flying through the air, straight into oncoming traffic.

Surprisingly, this particular wrinkle in my plan to avoid my problems didnt upset me very much. This was more along the lines I could cope with. Big wooden boats sailing through the upper atmosphere were no big deal. Galleons didnt look at me funny or make snide comments about how Id let them down.

Spires, she said. Now. The words were slow and a bit garbled.

You want to use the spires? You cant. Im the only one who can, and Im still working out how much to charge for my services. It wont be cheap.

For the Fairy Queen to be here, I assumed she had decided to take personal control of the mission. Me activating the spires was probably the thing everyone had been waiting for. Everyone except me. They all wanted me to hack the most sophisticated software on the planet, and Id just sat on my phone and accidentally bum-dialled the Pentagon.

What do you even want with the spires? I said.

Home, said the Queen. Send. You. All. Home.

Was she planning to rid her world of all Visitors? That wasnt a bad plan. She could get back to doing whatever she was doing before we got here. Finding the One True Ring or whatever. It really wasnt our business.

Okay, well good luck with that. I felt better for having had the balls to come here and see for myself who was opposing me. It didnt make things any easier, but getting rid of uncertainty helped.

I floated back the way Id come. The Queen rose from her seat, which meant she was really shifting in the real world.

You will activate the spires. She sounded almost normal. Id have to be careful getting her riled up if it gave her the impetus to interact with me like this.

I will not, and you cant make me. Becoming a man isnt something that happens overnight. Go to Fengarad and wait for me there. Try not to make a mess, I left everything where I can find it. Dont touch my stuff. I think its just that Im more comfortable being a twelve year old.

She began to move towards me like she was swimming in honey.

Joshaya

Yes? I hadnt seen him in a while so I was interested in what hed been up to. What about Joshaya?

Wont allow it.

Joshaya wouldnt allow it? What did that mean? Wasnt she the one in charge? Was she saying she would set him on me? Or something else?

He cant stop me, I said, hoping that was true. I was going to set all these ships on fire and kill you all. You should let me know youre coming in advance next time. To avoid any misunderstandings.

Its strange how different you feel before you do something you arent sure you should do, and afterwards. Now I couldnt even remember what had me so worried. Nothing bad had happened, and I even had a name to put on my list, right at the top. Joshaya.

One more thing. The ball Im in doesnt have very good manoeuvrability so Ill be smashing through this hull. I pointed from one end of the ship to the other. In this direction. You might want to stand a bit to the side to avoid splinters.

Wanton destruction is wrong and uncalled for. But if you shout, Mind your backs! on your way through, isnt it their responsibility to get out of the way?

I floated back to the capsule with the Queen trying to say something. I didnt have the patience to wait for her to spit it out.

Once I was back in the capsule, I resumed normal services and I was off. The ships in my way immediately swerved to avoid a collision and I went right down the middle of them.

My plan, and I did have one, was to get what I needed from the island to enable me to capture and force the truth out of Joshaya. He was not going to be easy to pin down, but now I was certain he was my best chance at sorting this all out. Its always the King of the Fairies you have to watch out for.

I was feeling good about my choices, ready to face whatever I ran into. Id taken my time and put thought into my decisions. I was on the right track. Very mature.

Except, it soon became apparent that the island was not where this pod was headed. The coast appeared, but remained on my right as I soared through the air towards Gorgoth.

The temple shaped like a skull sat waiting for me as I sailed into its eye socket and smashed into the stone floor. Not quite the breakthrough I had been expecting as I went through floor after floor, my boys body bouncing around the capsule until I finally came to a stop in a dark passage.

I stumbled out of the pod battered and bruised, my head spinning. Id been healing myself through the crash, but I was still pretty banged up. It took me a moment to realise where I was. The archway in front of me led into the Void where the Old gods had been trapped. What was I supposed to do here?