Chapter 213: Don’t Press Buttons

Our entire world had turned sideways, literally! The tower turned from vertical to horizontal right after the message had appeared, and we slid back down to land on the door we had just entered, but it wasn't a door. The floor was rocky, slimy, and the air had become damp.

We were no longer ingh a tower; this was a cave, lined with lumimoss and pools of water. The place smelt like fish and there was another cave entrance at the end of our current cave. I looked over, and Latisha was looking around, but she was all right, but we were in a dungeon.

"Do you know how to use the armory?"

"Yes, Grace showed us all, then she broke a whole it the store wall…"

Ugh, we would have to pay for that! 

"Okay, reach in and grab the Earth Armor, one of the binding rings, and the Cape at Hand. When you need a weapon, just reach behind you and you will get what you need until you are more familiar with the weapons that we have."

Without question, Latisha did as I asked, but she was looking a bit worried. I reached in and grabbed the master ring and Aquina's water pistol. After she was suited up and I turned up the Fire Binding ring to the max, Latisha looked a lot more confident, and the armor made her look like a Valkyrie.

"Ready?"

"You're not wearing any armor?" Latisha asked, giving me a half puzzled and half concerned look.

We were on a ledge, about ten meters up, and below I could hear the sounds of familiar creatures stirring, Fish monsters. The snarls and 'kaahh' breathy noise they made was just like the first dungeon Lavender and I had stumbled into. I looked at Latisha and gave her one of my game-winning smiles, beaming with confidence.

"I got this."

I turn to see a large group of blue and green Fishmen, gathering below, sharp claws and teeth ready to dig into us. I ran and jumped off the edge, time to really test this bracelet of Bhan's out. I cracked the single gate open and prepared to change into something epic.

The instant before I smashed into the rocks, I turned into a massive scoop of chocolate chip mint ice cream, and splatter. My body turned back right after, but I could smell the leftover splashes of mint. Well, that was fun, fine, we will do this the old fashion way! I didn't have the pistol, so I reached a hand out to each side as Latisha slammed down behind me, laughing.

"Oh, you got this?"

I slid my hand into the rose gauntlet and wrapped my hand around the stone greatsword. 

"Yes, I still got this! I just thought we might have a better smell than these fish, strategy!"

I dashed forward to the Fishmen and blasted the first group into the air, then brought the sword around in a sweeping arc. Showers of black particles rained down as I let the momentum spin me around, and I let go of the sword. I pulled out Ripperess and sprayed the crowd, the bullets cutting through them with paper.

Latisha leapt over me and slammed the Jet Hammer down in front of me, ripping open a massive flame rent in the ground that tore through the remaining enemies, but as they exploded, the black particles sucked into the hammer. The hammers jet changed and now it looked like a jet engine strapped to the hammer, and little glowing plates started to float around the head.

"Don't you try to steal the fun, I have been playing nice with you and the girls, but I don't mind telling the girls about that little thing you…"

"Don't even mention it! That was one time! And it was your idea!"

"Well, don't be a hog, or so quick to agree with ideas in the bedroom!"

This woman! You couldn't let anything slip around her or it was grounds for extortion! Well, she could handle herself, plus the hammer looked like it was still feeding on the enemies. The place was going to get more dangerous and the enemies would get stronger, so I couldn't hold her back or it would spell trouble for myself in more than one way!

"Fine, but you keep that to yourself! Let's get going, who knows how far we have to go, the tower was huge on the outside."

The two of us headed forward and I took out the FN FAL just to have some range, the guns were pretty good at tearing through these things, but then changed to the Sand Sword and Wind Spear. Latisha was using melee and I didn't know if she could get hurt by friendly fire, so it was better to be safe than sorry. Both these weapons could be thrown and resummoned according to the item info, so I could use some ranged attacks when she wasn't close.

The next room had eight big Fishmen with armor, and I was glad I switched, it was like the game had seen me coming. It didn't matter, I dashed forward and Latisha ran around the side of the cave. I reached the first with my gate still open, jumped, and turned, spinning in the air. 

I stabbed the spear into the head of the first monster, as I barrel-rolled over his shoulder, letting the spear go as I did, and then slashing into the next monster's shoulder. The blade only sank so far, then I let it go, landing, rolling, and then resummoning the spear to stab up between the next Fishman's legs. As I released the spear again, I let myself roll more to get out of the way for Latisha.

I had noticed the light from the side when I landed, rolling to get out of the way. She crashed into the remaining six like a runaway train, catching them all and blasting them in all directions like bowling pins. I was already on my feet and I switched the sword for the gauntlet and started to rip the monster at me and impaling them on the spear in shattering sprays of particles. 

Latisha finished the last three, and the hammer started to change, but this time it only got smaller. Instead of it being taller than me it was more the size of a wood chopping ax, but it still had the massive head with the small glowing stones around it. Looking at them, they were really glowing, but more like they were shining light at the hammer.

"Can I see that for a minute?"

"Sure, it almost weighs nothing now," Latisha said as she passed me the jet-ax hammer.

I took it from her, and I was surprised just how light it actually was, the thing had no weight, but when I slammed it into the ground the effect was more intense than before, tearing a massive chunk of rock up and into the far wall with a loud crash. This thing was wild, but I noticed there was something like a trigger on the handle.

I squeezed the handle, and then the next thing I knew, I was a pile of gelatin slapping into the rock wall. After I flipped off the wall and slapped onto the ground I changed back. Holy shit, what the hell was that?

"Ya, don't press buttons if you don't know what they are for you dough head!"

Even though Bhan's magic had stopped me from getting hurt, my brain still felt like it had been turned to jelly. I gave my head a shake, yeah, that was clearly a bad idea, but I was right full of bad ideas just waiting to happen! 

Maybe this was the reason why Bhan had this power? Maybe he was a walking disaster just waiting to go off. This power was probably to help clean up his messes or when he accidentally walked out into traffic. Whatever it was, I kind of wanted to meet him to swap stories, hehe.

"Lesson learned. I will stop touching things I don't understand!"

"Oh yeah, you just say it and it will happen! I'll believe it when I see you actually learn a lesson, hehe!"

I glared at her, but I just got an eye pulled down with her tongue stuck out at me. I rolled my eyes and we both started to walk to the next room. I wasn't sure what to use, but if this was in line with most dungeons this should be the boss room, so it might be better just to wait to see what showed up.

The next room that we entered was all rock and there was a big pile of rocks in the center of the room. After we both got all the way in, the cave seal and the pile of rocks started to move, slowly rolling around and connecting in some unseen way. We both watched as a massive rock elemental pulled itself together, stone by stone.

"That's a big monster! Are we going to be able to defeat something like that?"

"I don't think it will be as hard as you think, just don't come near me, and smash the rocks, okay?"

"Smash the rocks? What are you talking about?"

I reached into the armory and slipped on the Gauntlet of Heart, thinking about the stones I had thrown in my first fight with Professor MTK. The rock monster was fully formed now, and it let out a stone-grinding roar. Latisha moved away from me, and I raised my hand, aiming at the monster.

"Pull!"