Chapter 23

When Hua Mao was no longer in danger and had regained consciousness, Fang Yu only said two sentences.

“Who did it?”

He asked Hua Mao the first sentence.

After hearing Hua Mao’s reply, Fang Yu expressionlessly turned and walked out of the hospital room.

“Lao Liang, blow the whistle.”

Fang Yu only said these eight words in total.

When Hua Mao woke again from a deep sleep, Fang Yu was already sitting by his bed, his dress shirt covered with blood.

“Da Ge, you…”

Hua Mao was shocked.

“Don’t worry, this is all someone else’s blood! Da Ge avenged them for you!” Lao Liang said next to him.

“…Da Ge…”

Hua Mao looked at Fang Yu, his eyes showing how very touched he felt.

While Hua Mao was in the hospital healing, Fang Yu often went to see him. Sometimes Yang Lei was there, and would go with him. Although Yang Lei didn’t like Hua Mao, he quite appreciated Hua Mao’s toughness.

“What are you doing here?” Every time Hua Mao saw Fang Yu enter the room, his whole face shone. When he also saw Yang Lei following behind, his face fell.

“Da Ge, later you can come alone. Don’t bring him. Seeing him makes me angry!”

“It’s good to be angry. When you’re full of anger, you’ll get better faster,” Yang Lei said.

“Yang Lei, don’t be arrogant. When I get out, let’s have a match!” Hua Mao’s tongue was still sharp.

“First you should get out, then talk!” Yang Lei was sarcastic.

“You…”

“Enough, enough.” Fang Yu was very tired of these two people who couldn’t get along the moment they met. “What enmity do you two have? Can you stop for a while?”

As they met again and again, Yang Lei and Hua Mao’s bickering became quite customary. Actually, although Hua Mao loved Fang Yu with the real love that a man had for a man, he himself also knew that Fang Yu couldn’t possibly accept him. He could only be Fang Yu’s little brother, and he had given up. To him, right now, he truly didn’t have other thoughts. As long as he could see Fang Yu often and be close to Fang Yu, he was already quite satisfied. So, his hostility toward Yang Lei actually wasn’t really that deep. It was just that Hua Mao’s mouth was unmerciful. Every time he saw Yang Lei, he was still in the habit of being mean to him for a bit.

That day, Hua Mao suddenly asked Fang Yu: “Da Ge, the videotape I gave you last time, did you watch it?”

“I didn’t.” Fang Yu truly hadn’t watched it.

“Oh.” Hua Mao was very disappointed.

“Take a look. That video is different, really. You’ll know once you’ve watched it.” Hua Mao encouraged, his face ambiguous.

Next to him, Yang Lei’s expression became uneasy.

“It’s even different. How can it be different?” Fang Yu looked at Hua Mao’s expression. Weren’t there only a few kinds of that thing? What else could be different?

“The way of playing is different. I guarantee you’ve never played like that. Ai, I’ll stop talking. You’ll know when you’ve gone back and watched it.” Hua Mao smirked mysteriously.

But Fang Yu forgot when he went back later. He didn’t remember to pull out and watch the videotape.

Yang Lei’s mood was very complicated. He faintly hoped that Fang Yu could watch the tape and know that there truly were even more “ways to play,” but he was also afraid that Fang Yu would think too much after watching it, and he would really never play with him again.

After all, right now, Fang Yu hadn’t even thought about the “way of playing” of doing it to the end, let alone come to accept it.

The day Hua Mao was discharged from the hospital, Fang Yu had things to do. He called Yang Lei to represent him in taking the lead, bringing a bunch of Fang Yu’s brothers to hold a feast for Hua Mao.

Although Chuan-zi and Xiao Wu had a big fight back then, that was a separate matter. Fang Yu’s brothers were still very nice to Yang Lei. Yang Lei was loyal, and he was sincere to people. If he wanted to have a good relationship with anyone, he definitely could establish one. So, Fang Yu’s brothers were also convinced by him and liked him. Fang Yu was also conveniently letting Yang Lei and Hua Mao get closer, though until now, Fang Yu still didn’t know why these two people always bickered the moment they met.

Seeing that Fang Yu wasn’t present, Hua Mao was very disappointed, but he drank wine as freely as usual, and he didn’t bicker any less with Yang Lei. They had drunk a lot, and the others had all left, yet Yang Lei and Hua Mao still remained, continuing to drink.

With this drinking, perhaps it was the wine entering their sorrows. Each had their own worries, and the two of them started talking instead.

“Why do you like men?”

Yang Lei asked Hua Mao.

“I don’t know; it’s natural. I don’t have feelings towards women.”

“No feelings at all?”

“None.”

“…Then what if you have feelings for women first, but later you have feelings for men?”

Yang Lei asked.

“That’s possible. Those kinds of people are called bi. They take both men and women.”

“…Are there many of them?”

“If you say there are many, there aren’t many. If you say there aren’t many, there are many.” Hua Mao had drunk wine, and started saying tongue twisters.

“…Then what if you don’t have feelings for any other men, but you only have feelings for one man?”

Yang Lei asked very attentively.

“Then that’s love! Like what I have for Da Ge.” Hua Mao emphasized this word, love.

“You can stop. It’s hopeless between you and Fang Yu! Don’t touch his thoughts!” Yang Lei had drunk too much. He couldn’t hide his jealousy at all.

What surprised him was that Hua Mao didn’t refute, and he didn’t argue with him. Rather, his face was sad, and he only let out a long sigh after a while.

“Ai… I also know that it’s hopeless. What I have is unrequited love.”

Hua Mao was still supporting his cheek with a hand. Even Yang Lei couldn’t bear to see this dejected appearance.

“A man and a man… is that love?”

Yang Lei kept puzzling over this question.

“Why isn’t it love? Only men understand men the most. Only the love between men surpasses material things and surpasses desire. It’s the purest and most selfless love.” Once he drank, Hua Mao even became a poetic youth.

“Then if that man… he just can’t accept that this is love, what then?”

“Why do you have so many questions?” Hua Mao was impatient.

“I’m just curious!”

“What then, if you really like him, then woo him! Like me, I confessed to Yu Ge. Yu Ge rejected me, but I don’t regret it. I let him know what I think, and I can be worthy of my own heart.”

“…” Yang Lei was considering.

Hua Mao understood, and he stared at Yang Lei.

“You’re not talking about you and my Yu Ge, are you?”

“Bullshit.” Yang Lei spoke this word without confidence.

Hua Mao also wasn’t in doubt.

“I’m telling you, Yang Lei, I know that I have no hope, but you also have no hope.”

“Fuck off! Am I the same as you?”

Even if he had love for Fang Yu, Yang Lei had never thought that he and Hua Mao were the same. Hua Mao only liked men, yet Yang Lei only liked Fang Yu among men. There was an essential difference.

Hua Mao turned his wine glass, drank a mouthful of wine, and let out a bitter sigh.

“It’s still better to never know some people. Because after you know them, it will add a lot of troubles,” Hua Mao said absently.