Volume 11 - CH 5

Chapter 5: March of the Bon Parade 

Some time after the Monsterology Symposium... 

“They’re here! I count eight of them!” 

“Okay, get back, Juno! Augus, we’re moving up.” 

“Got it!” 

Walking past Juno the thief, who had been scouting the enemy, Dece the warrior and Augus the brawler moved up to block the hallway as the buzz of countless insects closed in. 

This place was one of the dungeons inside the Kingdom of Friedonia. It had been thoroughly searched before, and now all that remained was to stop the core that lay in the depths. In doing this, it would turn the dungeon into no more than a labyrinthine cave. 

However, some of the monster material that was harvested here was valuable, and many of the villages and towns in this domain were enriched by the trade in them. That’s why they chose not to stop the core, instead opening the place to adventurers, who would routinely cull the monsters inside, and collect their parts. 

So long as there wasn’t a hidden room somewhere (and these had no doubt all been found), there was no great treasure left outside of the dungeon core; but the paths had been thoroughly searched, so they could gather monster parts without fear. You might think of this as a comparatively low difficulty dungeon. Today, Juno and her party were here on a quest to gather materials. 

“Febral, what’s that monster?” 

“It’s a ‘giant dragonfly’ with ‘crab claws,’ so... that would make it a scissor meganeura.” 

Febral the priest identified the incoming monsters with a glint in his eye. It was common for adventurers to encounter monsters in dungeons, so Souma had distributed the Monster Encyclopedia to adventurers’ guilds inside the kingdom, and was working to spread the knowledge contained within. However, because the Monster Encyclopedia was still expensive, it was put in the guild’s closed stack library, and taking it out was forbidden (there were penalties). 

Febral had an academic streak, and was very particular about things, so he spent his time off cooped up in the guild, reading the Monster Encyclopedia and absorbing its knowledge... Though, really he was just a bit of a monster maniac. 

The Monster Encyclopedia was sorted well, and had pictures, making it a fun read, and that tickled Febral’s fancy. Hakuya and Ichiha had let their love for the material run wild when working on it, and Souma had read the finished product with great interest too, so maybe literate types liked this sort of encyclopedia. 

In regard to this, Juno had said, “I know it’s just your job title as an adventurer, and you’re not an actual priest, but is it really okay for you to be so into monsters?” 

Her exasperation was evident, but Febral seemed completely unconcerned about that. The monster maniac had identified the incoming foes as scissor meganeuras. Their bodies were mostly giant dragonfly, but their arms (forelegs) were crustacean claws. 

The scissor meganeuras flew in and assaulted Dece and Augus with their sharp claws. 

“Guh! They’re fast little buggers!” 

“Damn it! Go down, you crabonfly!” 

“Not crabonfly, scissor meganeura.” 

Ignoring that correction from Febral, Dece drove them off with some sort of flying attack with his sword, while Augus did the same with his gauntlets. They must have been striking heavy blows, because sparks flew every time their metal weapons struck a claw. But there was a reason Dece and Augus were fighting entirely on the defensive. 

“So which parts are the valuable ones?!” 

“Stop holding back and tell us, Febral!” 

There was a sparkle from Febral’s imaginary glasses (he wasn’t wearing any real ones) as they asked him. 

“Those crab claws are sold as a luxury food item. There doesn’t appear to be any toxic parts, so the guild should pay good money to take them off our hands. Their compound eyes are also a valuable component for some medical equipment, so they should sell for a good price, too.” 

“The scissors and the eyes, huh? Got it!” 

“We aim for the body then!” 

Augus and Dece slipped past the scissor attacks, using sword and fist to pummel the scissor meganeura’s bodies. Their attacks seemingly crushed its weak dragonfly part. The thin wings, cut free from the main body, fluttered to the ground. 

“Okay, me, too!” 

Juno threw a knife at one scissor meganeura which had slipped between the other two. That dagger stabbed into one of the scissor meganeura’s simple eyes, and it fell to the ground on its back. 

“Whew... Looks like the compound eye is fine,” Juno said in relief as she checked the corpse. 

Julia the mage, who had been preparing her flame magic behind them, asked Febral, “Do you not need me to use my magic?” 

“The claws last a long time if smoked, and are more useful that way, so if you cook them, their value’s cut in half. Please stand by and be ready to burn them all if the front line stops being able to handle the situation.” 

“Okaaaay.” 

The gentle beauty, Julia, smiled as she summoned a large flame in midair, but because Juno and the two up front were able to handle the situation themselves, the spell was never fired. 

Having secured a large number of crab claws and compound eyes, Juno and her party had their first big haul in some time. 

Some days later, in the capital Parnam. The night of the day Dece and his group returned.

“...And that’s how it went down. We made bank.” 

Juno, who had come to the castle for tea, like she always did, jovially related the story. Our tea parties were a valuable chance to hear the voice of the common people, and it was fun to shoot the breeze over tea with my comrades, so I welcomed it. 

Juno put a biscuit in her mouth, then laughed raucously. “Seriously, I’ve got to hand it to the Monster Encyclopedia. I hear other adventurers saying it’s helped them avoid wasting parts, and improved their earnings, too.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” 

It was satisfying to see that the book was having a positive impact on people’s lives. 

“Hee hee, I guess it was worth distributin’ it, huh?” 

“The ladies in the merchants’ district were happy to see unusual ingredients making the rounds, too.” 

Roroa and Naden both piped in. The four of us were here for today’s tea. 

“I couldn’t be happier to see it having a positive impact, and it looks like the acclaim for Ichiha is rising steadily, too, so I have nothing to complain about.” 

“Ohh... Now that you mention it, the author, Ichiha Chima, lives in the castle, doesn’t he?” From the way Juno scratched her cheek, she had something on her mind. 

“Hm? Did you want to meet him? I could call him in for tea...” 

“No, that’s not it,” she said with a wry smile. Resting her cheeks on the palm of one hand, she traced the rim of her cup with a finger. “I was just thinking, if Febral found out I had met Ichiha Chima, he’d probably cry out of frustration. When the guy first read the Monster Encyclopedia, he said something like, ‘I want to stop being an adventurer, and become Sir Ichiha’s apprentice!’ The whole party stopped him, though.” 

“...The problem is, there’s a lot of guys like that.” 

And, as Ichiha’s fame grew, the number of them was steadily increasing. Ichiha had a promising future, and he was a talented academic. In another five years, with his looks, he was going to be a literate pretty boy. There would be no shortage of girls looking to get hitched with him, regardless of their social status. 

If I didn’t keep him guarded at the academy by day and the castle by night, someone would snatch him up in no time. I expected something like that rush of marriage meetings that Poncho experienced was in the boy’s future. He was like the protagonist of an anime or manga. 

I guess getting him engaged early would be one option. It was more or less decided that we would be absorbing him into our country. If we let a genius like him go, it would be a loss to our country. It would be a blow to the Union of Eastern Nations as well, but there was no way I could let him go anywhere else. The primary candidate has to be Tomoe... But I dunno. 

Ichiha was turning eleven this year, and Tomoe was turning twelve. In my former world, they would both still be in primary school, and there were relationships they could only build in childhood. 

I could see they were close, even looking from the outside, but Tomoe, Ichiha, Yuriga, Velza, and what was the other one’s name, Lucy, was it? I was hesitant to put any strange external pressures on them and change their relationships. But what could I do...? 

“I think we should watch and wait.” I looked up in surprise, and Naden shrugged her shoulders. “It’s all over your face, Souma. I can tell what you’re thinking.” 

“Huh? Really?” 

When I started touching my face all over, Roroa chuckled. “We’re your wives, y’know? Figurin’ out what’s on your mind’s easy, Darlin’.” 

“Wow, I dunno what to say. Wives sure are amazing, huh?” Juno said, sounding impressed. This was kind of embarrassing. “I can tell what Mr. Musashibo’s saying, though.” 

“No, no, that’s the real special ability here. How can ya tell what a doll’s sayin’?” 

“Julia said it’s ‘the power of love.’” 

“Love...? What’s with this girl? Maybe we shouldn’t be underestimatin’ her?” 

Roroa had a dubious look on her face, but Juno just stared blankly back at her. 

“Well, anyway, we’re turning a nice profit because of you. If there’s anything I can do for you, just say the word.” 

““Anythin’ / Anything?”” Roroa and I said with a glint in our eyes. 

“Huh? Uh, well... if it’s something I’m capable of...” Juno said, despite seeming intimidated. Good, that was a commitment. 

“I do, in fact, have a job for you.” 

“Yeah, yeah. We were just lookin’ for a boyish girl like you, Junie.” 

“Huh? Wait. Huh?” 

The devilish smiles on our faces made Juno unintentionally hug herself. 

Naden let out a sigh of dismay. “Geez... Explain it properly, you two.” 

The story now turns back to the day after the Monsterology Symposium.

It was a hot summer day. Juno walked through the shopping street in the capital, her face red with shame. 

“I know I said I’d do anything to help... but still.” 

Right now, Juno and her party of five were in the middle of fulfilling a quest. “Advertise the new event.” And it had been said to Juno, directly by Souma, on the night of the tea party. Naturally, she couldn’t tell her companions that, so he submitted a quest to the guild through the castle and requested Juno’s party. 

“This is a notice from the palaaaace. Please, take a looook.” 

“It concerns the event to be held five days from now. Please, look at this to see the details.” 

Dece the warrior held up a placard, while Augus the brawler had signs tied to his front and back like he was some kind of sandwichman, and they were both calling out to people as they walked by. 

The main difference from usual was that they were both dressed like clowns. They even had clown face makeup on, but it looked a bit creepy, in a way that people who were bad with horror movies, or those who suffered from coulrophobia couldn’t stand to look at for long. 

Next to them, Febral was frowning. “Is it really all right for me to be doing this when I technically call myself a priest?” 

“There was no other choice. Dece and Augus were both too brawny for the outfit.” The gentle beauty, Julia, tried to mollify Febral. 

They were dressed as a vampire and vampiress. Febral wore a white cape and tuxedo (because it was deemed too dangerous for him to wear black in the summer heat), and had fake vampire teeth in his mouth. Though Febral was the indoorsy sort, and he looked like a literate man, the vampire look, which appeared sickly at first glance, suited him, and he got a lot of attention from the ladies. 

“Even if it’s white, it’s still pretty hot...” 

“Oh, my. Well, mine is black, but it’s quite breezy, you know?” 

Julia was dressed like a bunny girl without the ears, but with bat wings on her back, and a pointed tail sticking out of her rear. If you factored in her figure as well, she had a real “sexy vampire” look going on. The men in town—as well as with Dece and Augus—couldn’t take their eyes off her, but because of her own gentle nature, she seemed unconcerned by the eyes on her. 

Now, as for how Juno was dressed... 

“This getup’s still not okay!” 

She was wearing nothing but a tiger stripe bikini, with little oni horns sitting on her head. She looked exactly like the most famous oni girl in the country Souma had once lived in. If someone like Julia, whose body stuck out in all the right places, had worn that same outfit, it would have been erotic. However, with her thin figure and baby face, Juno looked more cute than sexy, so the crowd found it less arousing than Juno herself thought. Though that didn’t make it any less embarrassing for the one wearing it. 

A roly-poly hand poked Juno’s exposed back. It was the kigurumi adventurer controlled by Souma, Little Musashibo. Today, Little Musashibo wasn’t dressed as a priest soldier, but as a mummy man wrapped in bandages. However, because of his roly-poly body, he looked like a giant cocoon made by a moth or something instead. 

Juno gave Little Mummy Musashibo a piece of her mind, “Ki—I mean, Mister! This outfit really is not okay!” 

“But it’s not any more revealing than your usual outfit, is it?” 

When Little Musashibo tilted his head to the side, Juno felt like he had said that to her. An angry mark appeared over Juno’s head as she shook Little Musashibo. 

“It’s totally different! I don’t have my gauntlets or scarf!” 

“Stoooop iiiit.” (Flailing his arms.) 

“If you want someone to dress like this, tell your wives to do it!” 

“.........” 

Little Musashibo blatantly looked away. 

“...Don’t tell me you’ve made them before.” 

“.........” (Pretending to whistle.) 

“You and I both know kigurumi don’t whistle. Huh? Who? Who did you have do it?” 

“Hah, look at them go.” 

On the terrace of a tavern not far from where Juno and her party were working, Souji Lester, the resident bishop, watched with a glass of wine in one hand. Next to him was the high elf and Genia’s research partner, Merula Merlin. Because Genia was being called to the castle frequently of late, work on the drill project had been put on hiatus. That being the case, she decided to go out for a drink with Souji since it had been a while, and they were now drinking in the middle of the day. 

“Is it okay to ignore them, Souji?” Merula asked with unfocused eyes as her pale skin flushed red from the alcohol. “Don’t religious figures hate it when you dress up as ghosts more than anyone?” 

“Well, yes, but... His Majesty spoke to me about it in advance,” Souji explained before throwing a piece of cheese into his mouth. “The day after, representatives from all the national religions will offer prayers, and send back any lost souls that wander in.” 

“He’s keeping up appearances then. But will there be complaints from the Orthodox Papal State?” 

“I’m sure there will, but I’ll dodge them, as usual. There’s been less nagging from Little Miss Mary’s faction lately, so that makes it easy. ...Though, it might just be that the Orthodox Papal State doesn’t have time to be worrying about external affairs right now.” 

“...The conflict between the hardliners and the moderates, right? I believe Madam Mary was one of the moderates, correct?” 

There was presently a division over the interpretation of the Lunalith’s oracles. Because she lived with Souji, Merula had heard the story. As well as the fact that Saint Mary had told Souji she wanted to have the moderates and the saint candidates protected by the Kingdom if it became necessary. 

“Yeah,” Souji said, crossing his arms. “That’s why, as a reward for my cooperation in this matter, I’ve requested that King Souma and the Black-robed Prime Minister help with Mary’s request. There are a hundred people just counting the saint candidates, and if he was to shelter all of the moderates, that would require taking in even more. It will take time and people to put together a plan that includes their escape and transport. A lone bishop like me can’t do it.” 

“Wow...” 

Even just thinking about it seems like a pain, thought Merula. In exchange for his support in this event, Souji had passed the whole nuisance off to Souma and Hakuya. I don’t know whether to say he’d shrewd, or shameless, Merula thought in exasperation. 

“That must be a headache for Souma and his people.” 

“He was clutching his head, saying, ‘Now I’ve got to write another manyewal.’ That’s apparently a book of instructions, by the way.” 

“I’m sure he was.” Merula nodded, sympathizing with Souma. 

“He also said, ‘Maybe we can put together a gospel choir with the saint candidates. Delivering the love songs of the angels,’ with a far-off look in his eyes.” 

“Gospel? Choir?” 

“Search me. I have no clue what he was talking about.” Souji shrugged. 

“I see you’ve been doing your job as bishop after all.” Merula chuckled. “I’ll have to reevaluate my opinion of you a little.” 

The rare compliment brought a wry smile to Souji’s face. 

“Well, you’ve got to work just enough to be able to slack.” 

“Fine words, those. Is that in the teachings of Lunarian Orthodoxy?” 

“Nah. Just my philosophy on life.” Souji raised a glass to the adventurers working on the shopping street. “Young people have no clue that their work may be saving someone’s life. Just like those adventurers are bringing salvation to those who are lost in the Orthodox Papal State. Unknown to man, but not to God. So work hard, young ones.” 

“From where I’m standing, you look plenty young yourself, Souji.” 

Merula, whose age was unknown, shrugged with dismay. 

Meanwhile...

I was in the castle, speaking to Empress Maria of the Gran Chaos Empire over the Jewel Voice Broadcast. 

“Thank you for your cooperation, Madam Maria.” 

“Not at all. I thought it would benefit my own country, too.” 

“That idea of yours, Sir Souma.” Maria smiled. “I’d like to do it in my country, too.” 

“You’ll need to gauge your people’s response as you do it, but... Go ahead.” 

After that we engaged in some idle banter and then terminated the call. Once we did, Liscia, who had been quietly watching us talk, came over to me. 

“If you’re bringing in Madam Maria of the Empire, this has turned into something pretty big.” 

“We needed information that only the Empire could possibly know, after all. I had to play some of my cards in exchange, though...” 

“The Dungeon Origin of Monsters Theory, right? Was it okay to tell her? Won’t Madam Maria reach the conclusion that both mankind and demons came from the dungeons, too?” 

I could understand what Liscia was saying. If possible, I had wanted to keep it under wraps, still. 

“It’s too much to ask them for the information we want, while also concealing everything we know. When it comes to Genia’s theory, it’s still an unproven hypothesis. Even if Madam Maria reaches the Dungeon Origin of Mankind and Demons Theory, she won’t spread it carelessly.” 

If the information leaked, she would have trouble managing her own empire, too. 

“So, for now at least, with Madam Maria’s cooperation, we’ve gained a reason to hold this event. We’ll just have to do what we can currently.” 

“Right... For a project that came up so suddenly, it was all prepared pretty quickly, huh?” 

“I had already been talking about wanting to do an event this time of year. You know how we did the Gaius Memorial Festival in Van on the 32nd day of the 8th month last year? That was pretty popular, so there were requests to do something similar.” 

However, because the Gaius Memorial Festival was aimed at the people of the former principality, it was difficult to turn it into an event that the whole nation would celebrate. That’s why I was taking this opportunity to retool it into a memorial event for the whole country. I called it the Ghost Festival. 

It was primarily going to be a mix of a costume party in the style of Halloween (because the “trick or treat” aspect of that event had been taken by the Spring Announcement Festival, that was cut), the Bon-odori, and a certain strange festival held on the border between two prefectures in the world I came from. On the day of the event, participants would dress as ghosts and monsters, and parade through the town while dancing. 

Meanwhile, in Van, we would hold the Gaius Memorial Festival, the same as the year before. If we overdid these sorts of events, it could stir up the emotions of the people of the former principality, but if we didn’t do them at all, that could cause a reaction, too. It was safest to make it just one festival of many. 

“Hee hee, this takes me back, you know?” Liscia wrapped herself around my arm. “The way you would suddenly come up with an odd idea, and you’re running with it. It reminds me of when you had just been summoned.” 

“Well, yeah, but... aren’t you a bit close to me, compared to back then?” 

Liscia chuckled. “Of course. We’re married with children now.” 

“Things sure have changed, huh?” 

“Yeah. But there are things that haven’t, too.” Liscia rested her head on my shoulder. “I stay by your side, watching what you do. That’s not going to change.” 

“...You really are amazing, you know that? Liscia.” 

I had thought it countless times, but... Yeah, I was no match for her. That didn’t just go for Liscia; I could say it about all of my queens. No matter how our relationships changed in the future, I was going to fall in love with them anew over and over again. 

Then, on the day of the event.

The sun had set, and normally, at this time of day, the shopping street would only be dimly lit by the lightmoss streetlights. Today, however, there were lightmoss lantern decorations everywhere, making it quite bright. Souma had ordered these lanterns placed there for the event. 

The voice of a pretty young girl echoed across the brightly lit streets. 

“Woah! Lu, you’re so cute!” 

“Nyahaha, thanks.” 

Lucy laughed shyly at Tomoe’s compliment. Today she was dressed as a wolf girl, wearing an apron dress along with a wolf ear headband, and a wolf tail on her rump. 

Because the Royal Academy was on summer break, Tomoe, Yuriga, Ichiha, Lucy, and Velza were dressed up to participate in this Ghost Festival event. Obviously, a group from the Black Cats, led by Inugami, was watching over them from the shadows. 

When she looked at Lucy’s outfit, Yuriga said, “...It looks pretty familiar to me,” with dismay. 

Yuriga glanced at Tomoe. It was true, wolf ears and a tail were both traits she naturally possessed. If Souma could have seen Lucy right now, he might have muttered, “The Player 2 palette swap for Tomoe?” to himself. 

[Ghost Festival Outline] 

- The goal of this festival is to help any souls that wander into the living world return to the next world without regrets by having a good time together - 

- In order to make the souls think we are like them, every participant must be dressed as a ghost or monster - 

(This is voluntary for spectators, but you will have more fun in costume.) 

- When the cannons fire, our costumed band and parade will begin to march - 

- Spectators should sing along with the music, and dance - 

(All are welcome to jump in and participate.)

...Well, that was what was written there, more or less. 

“Yaaaay.” 

“H-Hold on, Tomoe, you’re spinning me too much!” 

“...Hey, can I have a moment?” Yuriga called out to Tomoe, who had already taken Ichiha’s hand and started dancing. 

“Hm? What?” 

“Is this festival one of King Souma’s policies, too?” 

“...Hmm, I wonder?” 

“What? Are you playing dumb again?” 

“You can say that, but I really haven’t heard anything this time. Though, knowing Big Brother, I’m sure there’s some deeper thinking behind a fun event like this.” 

“.........” 

“But before that, come on.” Having finished spinning Ichiha, she now offered her hand to Yuriga. “You can’t enjoy the festival with that look on your face. Let’s dance, Yuriga.” 

“...Hmph.” 

Even as she acted unamused, Yuriga took Tomoe’s hand. 

“This is a good place, just like Tomoe said.” 

“Nyaha! Everyone needs a younger girl who’ll call them Big Sister, huh?” Roroa said with a laugh. 

This was the fruit parlor at The Cat’s Tree, run by Tomoe’s school friend Lucy’s family. 

In order to watch the Ghost Festival we had planned in anonymity, we had asked Lucy to reserve the whole place for the royal family. I was here together with my five wives, and our bodyguards and subordinates. To be honest, I wanted to bring Cian and Kazuha, too, but I was told it would put more of a burden on the guards, so they were left with Carla and the others in the castle. 

“I know we paid, but do you think we’re hurting them, since this is a profitable time?” 

“Don’t you fret. Lucy’s family’ll be makin’ their profit off the stall they’re runnin’ today, so they couldn’t spare much staff for the main business, and were only plannin’ to run it like any other day.” 

“Well, I guess it’s okay then.” 

“That’s right. But more importantly, Darlin’, we’ve got a good view of the fountain plaza from here.” 

The fountain with the Jewel Voice Broadcast receiver system was easy to see from the second floor terrace. The image of the costumed parade dancing to the drum and fife band’s music was projected there, and it made for a fantastic, or rather a nightmarish scene. 

“Is that Hal and Ruby?” 

“Isn’t that the red dragon knight who fought alongside my brother, Fuuga?” 

While Tomoe and Yuriga cocked their heads to the side in shared confusion, Halbert took notice of them. He hopped down off Ruby’s back and walked over in their direction. 

“Hey, Velza. And Young Miss Tomoe, too. Were you all watching together?” 

“Yes, Lord Hal!” Velza responded with an energy that made Tomoe and the rest think, Is this girl really Velza? 

“Oh, yeah?” Halbert plopped his hand down on top of her head. “I’m glad to see you’ve made some friends.” 

“Yes! But why are you in the parade, Lord Hal?” 

“Oh... Souma said, ‘You’re the Red Oni, so you can join the Ghost Festival as is,’ and forced me into it. That’s how Ruby and I got put on display in this freak show.” Halbert scratched his cheek, seeming a bit embarrassed. 

“You’re not freaks! You’re cool, Lord Hal!” 

“Hahaha, thanks.” He patted Velza’s head vigorously. 

“Hal... It’s time to get back to it,” Ruby called to Hal telepathically. 

“Whoops, gotta rejoin the procession.” Halbert turned around to head back. “Later, Velza. Enjoy the festival.” 

“Bye-bye, Velza.” 

“Okay! Lord Hal, Lady Ruby!” 

Velza waved her hand wildly as she saw Hal and Ruby off. Once they were gone, and Velza turned around, only to be met by blank stares from Tomoe and the rest, she finally realized. Velza coughed and cleared her throat. 

“...I apologize. That was unseemly of me.” 

“Uh, no, it’s too late to try and keep up appearances now.” 

Yuriga’s calm retort made Velza turn red. Then it clicked for Tomoe. 

“Wait, could it be that the person you were saying you want to serve is Hal?” 

“...D-Did you figure that out?” 

“If you’re actin’ that different around him, who wouldn’t?” Lucy chimed in, and Ichiha followed up with, “I-I think it was cute, and very appropriate for a girl your age.” 

Velza covered her face with her hands. “I had tried to act aloof and keep it hidden, but it came out so easily.” 

“Nyahaha, you’re so cute, Velie.” 

Tomoe and the rest just chuckled as Lucy poked Velza in the cheek, who smiled shyly at their reactions. 

It was a night during summer break. The children enjoyed the festival to their heart’s content.