Chapter 287 - Selfishness

Enveloped by Damien's warmth, Katherine wanted to pull back but she ended up leaning onto him, her heart yearning for that touch that only he could give.

Was it so bad that she wanted him so much, Mom?

Was it so bad that all her heart screamed for was for her to be able to love him like she did, Dad?

The words he whispered to her brought so much delight along with a set of thorns that pricked her heart as it jumped for joy. 'I miss you too, Damien. Terribly,' she said in her thoughts when her mouth couldn't do it for her.

His thumb stroked hers gently, happy that she didn't pull away when he gave her hand a squeeze. "Why can't we be just 'us' again?"

"Why can't we be just 'you and me', Katherine?"

He knew he was being selfish — especially after what his uncle told him earlier. He knew it wasn't right for him to ask her that… But what could he do? Humans are selfish by nature.

She didn't respond and her silence only made him feel confused. "What are you thinking right now? Please let me know, Katherine… You're next to me but I feel like I'm going crazy for being unable to do anything."

And as if he couldn't help himself, he pressed his lips to her temple.

And then another to the shell of her ear.

He should stop. He knew he should. And she knew he should.

But then he pressed another soft kiss just below her ear.

Damien could feel that Katherine was trying so hard to fight herself with the way she squeezed his hand.

She could feel that every touch of his lips on her skin was made for her to break her walls. And it almost did until she felt the familiar cry of guilt burning in the pit of her stomach.

"Damien…" she breathed.

And upon hearing the way she called his name, he wished that she could have called him differently. He knew that he was really pushing her too hard now and that he needed to stop.

Sighing, he pressed his forehead to the side of her face, wishing that they could stay like this longer. She was so near — extremely near that he could smell her familiar scent and feel her familiar touch yet he could only do so much.

It was the same feeling for Katherine. She didn't really want him to stop. It had been so long since she felt his kiss but if she didn't stop him, who knows where this could lead to?

She was afraid that she might want something more.

Afraid that her walls would crumble that she would just give in and give him everything right here… right now.

She started considering when they could have the conversation. She couldn't do it with him now because she needed to think everything thoroughly as she hadn't been able to do so. The more that she dodges the elephant in the room, the more difficult it was for her. It had only been two days since she listened to him but it already felt like forever.

If she could only talk to someone about this. It would probably be easier for her to know what she could tell Damien. But who was she going to ask? There was no one who could really understand what she was going through.

Would Amelia be able to help her? She thought about it and she found it awkward to talk to Damien's mother about this. But among the people whom she could be honest with, Amelia was the only person who could truly understand her.

The silence that hung in the air was interrupted by the buzzing of Katherine's phone in her purse. She was going to ignore it but the buzzing didn't stop. She shifted a little and reached inside her purse to see who it was. Seeing 'Michael Price' on the screen made her brows furrow.

"Who is Michael Price?" Damien asked as he stared at the screen with her.

"It's my boss…"

"What kind of boss calls you at this hour?" His voice was a little snippy, annoyed that their moment got interrupted.

Katherine only glanced at him before she answered the call. "Hello?"

"Good evening, Ms. Young, sorry to bother you this late but I wanted to make sure that you get the message. We're going to be out of the office to settle the initial phase of a project tomorrow. Instead of getting in at eight in the morning, could you come in earlier?" Michael asked.

"Sure. Is 7:30 okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll meet you in the lobby. Good night." He ended the call before Katherine could say anything else.

She checked the time on her phone and let out a sigh when she realized that if she wanted to have enough sleep, she had to go home soon — sleep didn't come easy these days; except for last night, of course.

The reminder of last night made her turn her head to the side and meet Damien's stare; his face tainted with jealousy as his brows knitted. 

"What?" she wondered.

"How old is that Price?"

"I don't know. Thirties?"

"Is he married?"

"There was no ring on his finger. Are you interested in men now?"

Damien scoffed, he mumbled to himself, "Interested my ass. He's already on my list of flies to swat." He rolled his eyes, realizing that the list was getting longer.

…

While they were back on the road and on the way to the city, Katherine thought about the things she needed to do soon. She was getting anxious not knowing when Parker would strike and how he would approach her. She wondered what Chris had told him when he went back to Castle. She should be hearing something from Shadow soon so she had to keep her senses heightened and watch out for any sudden attacks.

As for Damien, Katherine needed to at least tell him something. Probably something that would be enough to keep him safe. But he can't know about Shadow, so what could she possibly tell him? Just this morning, she and Amelia were clear about keeping him in the dark to protect him.

What if the only way was to really let him know? She cursed at herself for even thinking about it. She knew very well what Shadow does to people from the outside who learned about their existence and all those people were already erased from the face of the earth.

There has to be another way. This couldn't be the only way.

"Katherine?" Damien called her attention when he pulled up in front of Golden Phoenix Residences, gently stroking her arm.

Realizing that they had arrived, she cleared her throat and composed herself, giving him a small smile. "Thanks for bringing me home."

Damien wanted to laugh but he suppressed himself. "It's no trouble at all, but aren't you even going to invite me in?"

"No. We haven't even gone past the first date yet. Inviting a man inside a single woman's home happens only after many dates, Mr. Park," she said with a straight face. He narrowed his eyes at her and saw the small smile threatening to show. 

"When will I see you again?" he probed.

Taking a deep breath, Katherine curled the corners of her mouth up. "Soon. And then we'll talk." She placed her hand on top of his and gave it a light squeeze before she climbed out of his car.

There has to be another way. If there was none, could they make one?