Chapter 190 - At a Loss

Inside Jeffrey Evans's clinic, Katherine's mournful scream filled the room. Damien who had heard everything had his eyes fixed on her while Katherine's words rang in his ears repeatedly. 

She was with someone who loved her before. Did she also love him back? There were so many questions in his head and for the first time, he feared what will happen next. Will Katherine finally remember everything? If she does, will they stay the same?

Damien didn't realize that he was in a daze until Jeffrey called his name for the third time. When he raised his head, he saw Katherine's tear-streaked face. Her eyes were open but she was staring off into space, seemingly unaware of what was happening around her. She was in shock.

However, despite Damien's reservations, he brushed his thoughts away and immediately went to her side. 

"Katherine?" He lightly shook her shoulders. He took out a white handkerchief from his coat and wiped her face gently as if he was handling a precious gemstone. "Come back to me…" he whispered, his voice was low and slightly weak. 

She didn't show any reactions and remained motionless. He pulled her closer to him, embracing her gently like she was fragile as he continued to call her attention, murmuring comforting words to her ear while he stroked her back. 

Though he tried to deny it, he was currently troubled and his heart ached. But he was unsure what made him feel that way – Was it because of her current state? Or because he just learned there was once a man in her life?

Damien pressed his lips on her temple, his heart began racing. "You're safe… No one's going to hurt you anymore." It pained him to see her this way, so vulnerable — nothing like the Katherine that he knew. He pulled back briefly, trying to see her eyes but what he saw broke his heart. She looked so distant — he almost wished she would just bawl her eyes out rather than being like this – soulless.

Despite his thoughts, he did not stop comforting her. His constant reassurance brought her back to consciousness. It was only then that she realized Damien was there next to her, coaxing her to come back to him. Her arms flew up, wrapping around him and hugging him tighter as if her life depended on it.

Katherine was so confused that she did not know if what she saw was a nightmare or a memory. She refused to believe that whatever it was that flashed in her mind was what caused her memory loss. How could she have experienced something so horrible? But as much as she didn't want to believe it, the feeling remained within her – the same feeling she had back when she was strapped on that bed.

But who was that man? Why was he doing that to her? She was more confused now than before and not knowing who that man was and what was happening made her even frustrated. Her hands clutched onto his coat but she refused to cry. 

She swallowed the gigantic lump that was forming in her throat. She couldn't show it to Damien. She couldn't let him see that she thought this was a mistake. She regretted seeing what she saw in her head. How was she ever going to tell him what it was? How was she going to describe every horrible thing and feeling?

And then it struck her. Katherine pulled away from him and her head snapped towards the table where a recorder was sitting. She had just remembered that before they started, Jeffrey had recorded their session. Now she was wondering what she had said while she was in a trance.

Was it possible that she said everything? She dragged her gaze back to Damien and saw the look in his eyes.

She had never seen that look on him and it scared her. He looked calm and worried but his eyes were weak and detached — a look of insecurity.

Realizing that she might be worried about what just happened, Damien pulled a small smile and told her, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." 

Katherine looked away and he took her silence as an affirmative. 

They left Jeffrey's clinic a few minutes later and as they walked out of the hospital, she walked on her own with a blank mind – she felt dull and numb.

While they waited for the car at the entrance of the hospital, Damien and Jeffrey were discussing their course of action as they stood a few feet away from Katherine who seemed so out of it. She was just standing there and staring straight ahead. 

For some reason, her gaze shifted slightly to the right and saw a tall man standing at the parking lot next to a car. He was looking back at her, almost as if he was watching her. She furrowed her brows and subconsciously, she stepped onto the pavement like she wanted to see the man clearly. 

Tilting her head, she tried to focus her stare as if she was studying him and she swore she saw the man shift like he was aware that she was staring at him. 

"Katherine!" Damien called out to her just before his arms encircled her waist, he turned her back onto the side and out of harm's way, avoiding a hit from a reckless driver speeding his car outside of the hospital. "This is a hospital!" he yelled after the car.

"What were you doing?!" He quickly placed his hands on her shoulders as soon as he turned back to her, straightening her up and looking her up and down. "Are you okay? You almost got hit by a car!"

Katherine's eyes went wide, only realizing that she was in the middle of a driveaway and Damien just saved her. Her mouth opened and closed but no words came out. She turned her head back towards the parking lot across them but the man was no longer there. How come that man looked all too familiar? Was she just imagining it?

"I… I'm tired… I just want to go home," she said in a listless voice as she hung her head low.

Nodding his head, he placed his arm around her, letting her lean into him as they walked towards their car. 

…

Pearl Gardens

"Are you okay?" Damien probed as they got inside the master bedroom. He watched as she strolled towards the bathroom, nodded in response to his question but not saying anything. 

The bathroom door closed and he heard the shower turned on. He sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands, the scene from the clinic playing in his mind over and over. Though he could not see what she saw in her head, he heard the words that the man supposedly said to her. It bothered him a lot.

And it bothered him that she wasn't herself after the session. It scared him that he didn't know what he was supposed to do after this. For the first time, Damien was at a loss — and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know more about what happened back there.

Katherine didn't take a long time in the shower. When she got out of the bathroom, she was already in a shirt and pajama pants. Damien watched her as she quietly sat in front of her vanity dresser and start drying her hair. 

Without saying anything, he got to his feet and helped her dry her hair. The room was quiet except for the sound of the hairdryer in his hand. Neither of them spoke to each other.

She watched his reflection in the mirror and when he glanced at her, she gave him a small smile, in which he returned with his own depressing one.

Several minutes later, he tucked her in bed, making sure the curtains were closed to darken the room. And when he thought that she was already asleep, he got out of the room and headed to his study, taking out a bottle of scotch and pouring himself a drink at eleven in the morning.