Chapter 191 - Was it hard on you?

{Stella's POV}

My heart leaped at his question. Did I miss him?

Yes I do, more than he can imagine, but it's no use now. I'm just gonna hurt myself more if I dwell in this delusion.

I stared into his eyes and didn't know what to say. "Did you miss me?" he asked again.

"Alex I.." my words fell short as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around me. The warmth was so good that I didn't want him to pull back.

Should I hug him back? the question pop up and I clenched my fist, holding back the urge. My heart race non stop and felt scared.

It's been so long and he still make me feel this way. Probably because we didn't part with a fight.

I recalled him putting me to sleep as my body is feeling weird on the day everything changed for us. He was so against the fact that I didn't want to visit the hospital.

I recalled waking up and Maris informing me he went to confirm at the hospital if how I'm feeling isn't bad for a pregnant woman.

My heart warmed and I blushed hard. Despite being with him for a long time, I just couldn't get enough of him. He's so loving, caring, reasonable, mature and the best man I've ever met in my life.

Those thoughts were still passing through my mind, while my face kept brightening up, when Maris teasing laughter brought me back.

She coughed lightly after and we both giggled. I was very touched and Maris was so happy for me, not knowing that day is the last day I'm going to lay my eyes on him till I watch the news of his accident, seeing him covered in blood and being rushed away from the scene and when he visited my mall months ago.

Shane was the one who showed me the news of his accident on his laptop, to make me understand my baby is next.

Seeing him alive and breathing, I'm very happy and thankful. Feeling his warmth right now, I'm scared of the want my body craves. I want to hug back so badly.

My heart leaped for the second time when his chin still remained resting on my left shoulder, while both his hands reached for my clenched fist which I relaxed immediately his hand touches them.

He pulled my hand to wrap around his waist and I couldn't bear to resist. Immediately he released his hold on my hand, he wrapped his arm around me again, "don't hold back." he muttered.

I don't think I will let go even if he didn't say that, but his saying it makes me hung onto that reason for what I did and said after.

I snuggled closer and my hand stroke up to his back, "I miss you so much." I said, not knowing what came over me. I wonder why I'm being like this. I'm a married woman, married to a beast and most importantly, I'm not a teenager that should be reckless with her feelings.

I didn't know what he's thinking but he remained silent, making me wonder if he heard what I said, or if he thinks of me shameless now.

He pulled back and our gaze locked. I wanted to look everywhere but his eyes but couldn't look away. Even though he escaped death, his face still carried this sickly appearance.

He's as handsome as always but for someone who has shared moments of closeness with him, I can tell his health isn't as it usually was. This isn't about aging but due to the impact of his long sleep.

I noticed he couldn't carry something too heavy for long, before his hands started shaking. He hides it but I still noticed since I usually steal glances when he's not looking.

I wanted to swallow hard on my saliva but didn't want him to misunderstood, so I held it, more like holding my breath.

He kept staring into my eyes and I could barely hold on much longer. A loud screech came from the movie we are watching.

I recognize the voice of one of the kidnappers and immediately another sound echoes, I averted our gaze and gulped immediately, which I hope the sound will cover up.

He didn't say anything and kept staring at me. "Stop staring at me." I said in a low voice, while I kept my gaze glued at the screen. Right now, I'm not following what was happening in the movie, but my heartbeat and his burning gaze.

We are still so close that I could feel the warmth radiating from his body and wanted to go back in time. A few minutes ago, when I was in his embrace and feeling it.

He reached out his hand to my face and turn it to stare into his. I pressed my lips together and control my breath to avoid another situation where I have to gulp and not make him aware.

Immediately our gaze locked, "was it hard on you?" he asked, and my expression went solemn. My racing heart steady itself and rage took over. I can't believe my experience with Shane came up at this moment.

What was I expecting? I anticipated something else. I didn't know what it was, but anything, aside from that bastard.

I don't blame him for asking, but I'm happy right now and for once, I didn't want to think about him, but if Alex didn't ask; I will be worried about his feelings.

The fact that he asked means he didn't blame me and was worried. It's nice, but I still didn't like it.

His hand slipped down to my neck area, making my adrenaline rush, as the thought of him wanting to kiss me overshadowed Shane's one.

His hand was warm, making me want to close my eyes. Stella what is wrong with your head. You're here in the name of friendship. Let the past remain in the past and stop deluding yourself.

I cautioned myself and quickly regained my composure. "Alex I'm a married woman and we are just friends now."