Chapter 40 - What Is This Sudden Feeling?

Diana took her time and wondered why everything is like this for her, her whole life is practically a mess, everything just sucks, yet she's strong; she knows she is. She wanted to cry but couldn't find the tears, she wanted to scream, curse, do a let of things to let out the pain bubbling inside her, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't, because the person who started all this, the person who took her mother and father from her, the person who hurts the innocent and made everything turns out so badly is probably enjoying himself somewhere right now.

That person, if he's the promiscuous type might be in the arms of a beautiful woman right now, and many more. She felt like if she cried, the person could see it and mock her, she felt like crying is the same as given in to the bastard expectations.

She wouldn't do it, she would rather cry after she got the bastard blood on her hands, then she can cry for killing a human being and also spice it up with tears of joy, after having her mother love, and be able to search for her father.

She assured herself of that and again turned it into motivation, she need to get strong. For now, she will try not to think of the past and focus more on the future, get strong and then fix her past and let everything be as it should.

She slowly finds herself waiting for news on Ethan before sleeping off. She had no idea how long she had slept, but opened her eyes under Aroma's poke on her forehead.

She felt her head hurt and massaged her temple, while getting up on her feet, "how is Ethan? Is he alright?" she asked.

"Come with me." Aroma said and head out of the room, while Diana tagged along.

After walking for a while through the big wide house, which she couldn't help but wonder how much it cost them to put together such property. They entered a big room with weapons hung all around the wall, different types of rifles which are Nathan's favourite, like he mentioned about Diana shape shifting into one of them.

She held her breath as her eyes traced them on the wall. She saw Nathan sitting on a white single leather chair in front of a wide transparent glass, demarcating the inside and the outside, giving him a clear view of what's going on outside the field, where all those people from earlier were busy with their stuff.

Without a doubt, it is indeed his room. He look sideways and stare at her briefly, somehow Diana could sense a difference in him, he looks so calm and void of emotions. But within a blink of an eyes, "how do you like this place human?" he asked, smiling brightly.

'Eh! how can someone switch like that?' She asks in her head, "I'm Diana." She said.

"I didn't asked for your name." Nathan replied calmly.

"Well, you kept calling me human, and it's not my name." She said and look around, "where is Ethan?" She asked.

Aroma somehow felt like Diana is gonna get in a lot of trouble with the boss, she's questioning him a lot, which is one of the things he doesn't tolerate from his people.

"I gave you the chance of telling me what you wished to be called and you said human, also you don't get to tell me what to call you till you get your new name here." Nathan replied, he doesn't look pissed at all, presumably because he has something else on his mind or because Diana is new.

"About Ethan," he said and glance at Aroma, "take her to see him and let her stop worrying." he said and tilted his head back towards the view of his people's activities outside.

Diana blinked and couldn't retort as Nathan aura, despite his calmness seem like a 'don't mess with' type. She had no idea why, but she felt this sense of fear toward him; ever since he called him heartless. She felt like she said what she shouldn't have said.

"Come with me." Aroma said and walk toward a closed door inside the same room they were in, and opened it. There lies Ethan on a king size bed, his eyes closed, which is obvious that he is sleeping. Diana noticed the bruises all over him and dash toward his side, while Aroma left and closed the door.

She didn't know where this sudden heart break comes from, but looking at the sweet nice guy, who made her feel natural around him, laying down like this, looking all bruised up, she felt her heart hurt, she didn't expect she will feel this way when they met even though she was worried about him, why did her heart hurt so much like she's looking at his corpse instead of just a man with few bruises on him, sleeping peacefully.

She slowly reach out her hand and touch his face, running her thumb lightly on one of the cut on his face. Ethan brow creased lightly, which made her retracted her hand. She recalled their last conversation, he asked her to wait for him.

But Diana knew she didn't take his words seriously, she didn't use her heart when dealing with men, she knew the end result will be humiliation as her face ruins everything. It's more of the reason why she didn't fall in love with Jeff.

Despite his kindness, she didn't let it get to her heart till Jeff asked her out, but what's this? She knew it was the same with Ethan, despite everything that transpired between them, she didn't open her heart when dealing with him.

'But why is she feeling like this by seeing him hurt? why does it hurt like she was sharing the pain with him? Did she let herself fall for him? When? What exactly stirred her up? when did she started making a fool of herself?'  Diana inside was in turmoil.

How could she let herself feel something this much for someone who wouldn't look at her. She believes it's not possible for Ethan to really want her with her face, if this feeling is real, then she just made a big fool of herself.

She battled with her thoughts and kept  staring at him, 'this isn't the time to feel this way, she has another goal now than to make a fool of herself like this.' She concluded and tried to calm herself, averting her gaze from him and held her hand to the area her heart is located, trying to calm it.

"Diana?" she heard Ethan voice called and look up to meet his gaze, full of confusion and disbelief.