CH 499

“Have you found it, Mister Jin-Ho?”

“Yes,” said Kang Jin-Ho, his expression unwavering. Confident.

Jo Gyu-Min stared back at Kang Jin-Ho in great interest. He was now full of anticipation at what the answer might be. The 'Kang Jin-Ho' Jo Gyu-Min knew always managed to bring such indescribable excitement and fun to the table, after all!

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Since Kang Jin-Ho showed up first thing in the morning with such a big smile on his face, the answer he found must be something that even Jo Gyu-Min could get excited about.

“Mister Jin-Ho, I'd like to hear your answer if you don't mind?”

Kang Jin-Ho's grin deepened as if he wanted to build up even more anticipation. Without saying anything else, he kept staring at Jo Gyu-Min.

Jo Gyu-Min's expression cramped up even more in impatience. “Urgh... Yes, I'm sorry, it's my fault. I've apologized now, so can you tell me? The suspense is almost killing me.”

“The answer was already within what you told me.”

“Mm? It was?”

“Yes,” Kang Jin-Ho contemplatively nodded.

The answer was hidden within the topic of 'What Kang Jin-Ho wanted to achieve' that Jo Gyu-Min so fervently talked about the night before. Kang Jin-Ho had only ever seriously considered doing this one thing with his own strength during this third stab at life, after all!

“As it turned out, there was no need to overthink it and make things even more complicated for myself. A close acquaintance told me that I wasn't trying to find something I wanted to do for myself but a goal that would help everybody else. As a matter of fact, I was criticized by the same person for having my head stuck in the arrogant yet trifling mindset of needing to be responsible for other people's lives.”

“Wow...” Jo Gyu-Min's jaw fell to the floor. If he was being honest, he never saw things that way. However, even if that assessment was correct, was there someone capable of saying something like that to Kang Jin-Ho's face? Jo Gyu-Min didn't think that was possible. “Whoever it was, they were merciless with you, weren't they?”

“Yes. It felt like I was hit on the back of my head,” said Kang Jin-Ho. He willingly admitted to his failings. “I took my time thinking about it, and that criticism was right. The question of what I want to do should be simple enough to answer, yet I've been complicating it for myself. So, when I stopped doing that, the answer came to me in the proverbial blink of an eye. I always wanted to do this one thing, and it doesn't involve others around me.”

“Mister Jin-Ho, have I already told you that the suspense is killing me?”

Kang Jin-Ho chuckled. “It's not that big of a deal, actually. I merely wish to run a foundation of my own.”

“...A foundation?” Jo Gyu-Min's jaw fell again in stupefaction. “H-hold on for a sec, please. This foundation you're talking about, it's like one of those welfare or education foundations, yes? Is that what you are talking about?”

“Yes.”

“And, and... You want to run something like that?”

“Yes, I do.”

Jo Gyu-Min could barely hide his shock and fluster at this revelation. 'What? What is he even talking about here?!'

Of course, anyone hovering around Kang Jin-Ho's vicinity for a few days would learn that he had a lot of interest in that area. He might unhesitantly chop people up into bloody chunks of meat in the hidden world, but whenever Kang Jin-Ho had free time, he'd stop by at the Seongsim Orphanage and throw money around as if it was nothing, so that part of him wasn't hard to see! As an example, didn't he waste all that valuable time recently because of the orphans' education problem?

Even so, to think he'd want to run a foundation...?

Jo Gyu-Min suddenly sensed a powerful migraine announcing its presence inside his skull. He should be happy about Kang Jin-Ho finding the path in his life, but the answer was simply too different from what Jo Gyu-Min expected to hear!

Jo Gyu-Min wouldn't be this taken aback if... If Kang Jin-Ho's goal was to conquer the entire world. Considering the social influence and actual physical and political power Kang Jin-Ho now wielded, this goal seemed way too small in scale.

“Mister Jin-Ho, do you mind me asking about... why?”

However, Jo Gyu-Min's job wasn't to lead but to assist. Since Kang Jin-Ho decided on this path, Jo Gyu-Min needed to ascertain the rationale behind this decision, at the very least!

Kang Jin-Ho tilted his head slightly. “Do I need a reason?”

“N-no. Of course not. You don't. If that's what you want, then so be it. Whys and hows shouldn't come into the equation because this is what you want to do. It's just that... I think I need to understand it on a personal level. It is up to you to decide on what you want to do. However, whether or not other people will follow you is a separate issue, you see?”

“Yes, I get that,” Kang Jin-Ho nodded while leisurely smoking away. Where should he start his explanation, then? He quickly organized his thoughts and raised his voice. “Some things can be so unfair.”

“...Sorry?”

“Let's say there is a hypothetical man who only wants to live an ordinary life. One day, however, he gets into a car accident. His entire family is killed while his lower half is paralyzed. He now must spend the rest of his life confined to a wheelchair.”

Jo Gyu-Min furrowed his brow. What an unimaginably pitiful fate that was.

Kang Jin-Ho casually asked, “What was this man guilty of to deserve this kind of punishment, Chief Jo?”

“Well, I'm sure he's not guilty of anything other than... truly rotten luck.”

Kang Jin-Ho slowly nodded. “Yes, you're right. He's not guilty, but that doesn't mean his suffering will be less severe. For the rest of his life, he will be stuck with unyielding loneliness and a body that refuses to listen to him. And there won't be many paths left for him to choose.”

“Mm...”

“How about another example? Let's say there's a hypothetical child born with a congenital defect. A disability of some kind. As soon as he's born, his parents abandon him. He still manages to survive, however, and roams the streets to find food and shelter. His childhood is a constant struggle to ensure his survival, while other kids his age are warmly wrapped up in their parents' love and care. While others are preparing for their future, this child must keep struggling.”

Jo Gyu-Min nodded slowly, his expression growing gloomier. His mind was already remembering Park Yu-Min's situation. However, Kang Jin-Ho wasn't talking about his friend. No, he was talking about his second life.

Kang Jin-Ho could consider himself a lucky case. After all, not many abandoned kids would've survived in Zhongyuan's unforgiving conditions as he did.

In a way, Kang Jin-Ho could be considered a success story among his peers. Even if he and his peers were destined for a life of abject misery and suffering, he still managed to live for so long, after all!

When Kang Jin-Ho remembered his past lives, only one thought remained in his mind. What separated him from the rest? What was the difference? There could be only one answer for that.

It wasn't because Kang Jin-Ho's determination was unbreakable. A kid with unbreakable will still couldn't do much, after all.

The only reason Kang Jin-Ho survived his second life was... as simple as meeting his martial arts master. That was about it. If he didn't have that luck going for him, Kang Jin-Ho's second life would've been several times more wretched and horrifying than his first. No, wait... It'd have ended pitifully before all the wretchedness could even start!

In that case, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say luck was the deciding factor in his second life. However, was that... really okay?

“In the end, it all comes down to one's luck,” said Kang Jin-Ho, his expression getting stiffer, colder. “Obviously, I don't subscribe to the idea of everyone living the same type of life. Even so... Humans will sometimes face extreme adversity that they can't deal with on their own. Like those two cases I've brought up just now. When the world looks at these helpless lives broken by variables beyond anyone's control... We all collectively say the same thing.”

Kang Jin-Ho stopped talking there for a second while sucking in a deep breath.

“We say it's fate.”

“...”

Kang Jin-Ho's voice grew more heated. “We say there's nothing any of us can do about it. That it was the victim's fate to end up that way. Because it's beyond our control... Because no human can turn back the clock... However, are we really supposed to slap the label of 'fate' on instances of such unfairness, sweep everything under the rug, and move on as if nothing has happened?”

Kang Jin-Ho had finally understood what Sister Yi, the former director of the Seongsim Orphanage, had asked him to do.

She told him to become someone capable of reaching out first. For quite a long time, Kang Jin-Ho was confused about what Sister Yi wanted from him.

How was he supposed to do something like that? When he couldn't tell who needed his help? So, he thought that it should be sufficient enough to only extend his helping hand when someone cried out for salvation. However... That wasn't it.

During his first life, Kang Jin-Ho needed help. Probably a lot more than anyone else would've imagined. He lost his entire family before reaching adulthood. His lower torso died on him, leaving him permanently disabled. To his eyes, everything about the world and his future invoked despair. Everything in this world lost all meaning from that moment on.

So, he isolated himself from the rest of the world. He kept digging deeper and deeper into the darkness of isolation. However, his heart... His heart was different.

He wanted someone to come and help him. He wanted to cry out for someone to come and rescue him from this hell. Unfortunately, who could hear a desperate man's inner cry other than himself?

In the end, Kang Jin-Ho found no helping hands and chose to embrace death instead. However, would things have been different if someone did help him?

What if he met someone like Sister Yi back then? What would've changed?

What if someone like Sister Yi approached him with a warm smile and reached out to him as if it was the most natural thing in the world? What if someone like that stood by Kang Jin-Ho? Wouldn't his first life be a little bit better?

'I was wrong back then, waiting for someone like that...'

Didn't Sister Yi say it? Kang Jin-Ho needed to become someone like that. Someone who could step forward and extend his helping hand first to those in need.

Sister Yi must've known the truth about people. She must've understood that humans sometimes couldn't ask for help even if they were in a tight spot, that some people had no choice but to wait for a savior to offer assistance even if their situations were getting unbearably difficult.

Kang Jin-Ho now understood it all. After all, he too, used to be one of those people. Within that pit of darkness, Kang Jin-Ho never once cried out for help. No, he just mulled over it, slept on it, thought about it... all the while his whole being progressively became a shell of itself.

That was because he was scared of being judged as a truly pitiful bastard if he asked for help. He didn't want to admit to that. So he couldn't ask for help.

“H-however, Mister Jin-Ho...!” Jo Gyu-Min finally responded, his expression surprisingly grave. He had finally understood that the foundation Kang Jin-Ho was talking about was nothing like those on-paper-only welfare foundations the rich people set up just to show off their so-called benevolence. Kang Jin-Ho was genuine about starting something nonsensical right now! “Mister Jin-Ho, I have to warn you, what you're talking about here is practically unheard of. Taking over South Korea through your connections in the hidden world might be easier and faster! If you can see the goal, you might be able to find a way to conquer it, reach it, achieve it, whatever. However, there is no set of written instructions on how to change people's minds, you know!”

“Yes, I get that,” said Kang Jin-Ho while nodding gravely. Of course he could tell what Jo Gyu-Min was worrying about. “I expect it to be insanely challenging, yes. Even so... You did ask me, didn't you? And this is exactly what I want to do.”

Jo Gyu-Min chuckled hollowly. Wasn't this the same as digging his own grave? The words he said to spur Kang Jin-Ho on turned into a noose, gradually tightening around Jo Gyu-Min's throat instead. No matter how many times he looked around, he couldn't find an escape route!

“W-well, yes. I did say that, but...!”

“Since this is what I want to do, I better get to it,” said Kang Jin-Ho.

“Wait, Mister Jin-Ho. It's not as simple as that. How about taking some time out and giving it more thought...?”

“No. I've already thought this through. You can even say that I've been thinking about this for a long, long time, too. However, I used to think now wasn't a good time to start. I kept pushing it back while telling myself it was too early. In the end, I probably began thinking that someone like me with so much blood on his hands is ill-suited for this kind of thing. If I'm being honest, that part still bothers me somewhat.”

“Eii. That's not what I meant, Mister Jin-Ho.”

“Sorry?” Kang Jin-Ho tilted his head.

Jo Gyu-Min casually waved his hand. “Let's say a despicable criminal is pretending to be a saint and doing nice things for the general public. Should the needy people refuse assistance from him if they learn the truth about him?”

“...No, they shouldn't.”

“What you're trying to do... Well, people might take issues if you're doing it for platitudes and respect. However, that's not the case with you, am I wrong?” Jo Gyu-Min muttered in a composed, nay, relaxed voice. However, his mind was currently yelling something else. 'What the hell am I even babbling about here?!'

He was supposed to talk Kang Jin-Ho out of committing to this mad idea, so why was he encouraging the latter instead?! Unfortunately, regret always came too late to be useful to anyone!

Kang Jin-Ho weightily nodded as if Jo Gyu-Min's words had greatly impressed him. He spoke his next words with even more conviction than before. “Yes. And so... I'd like to do this.”

“...”

“What will you do, Chief Jo? What will be your answer now?”

“...”

Jo Gyu-Min clamped his mouth shut. That was the best and the only resistance he could offer in this situation.