CH 446

'Why should I do it?'

Yi Myeong-Hwan was lying on his bed in the dark room, staring dazedly at the ceiling above. The sparks of the flame in his heart, lit by Kang Jin-Ho earlier, didn't want to leave Yi Myeong-Hwan alone. As a matter of fact, those flames had been tormenting him ever since he left the auditorium.

'Before all that, though... Why am I supposed to get stronger, anyway?'

So unclear... Everything seemed so vague and unclear!

After witnessing Kang Jin-Ho's powers... No, even before that! Yi Myeong-Hwan wanted to become powerful. To become more powerful than anyone. Everyone! That was his foundation, his philosophy... The basis of his martial arts!

But now, he began questioning the very foundation of his existence as a martial artist. Why was he trying to get stronger? What was his purpose?

Wasn't this concept of gaining greater strength... too antiquated in this day and age?

Martial artists might not be willing to admit it, but the balance of power had already shifted to the surface world some time ago. In the past, the martial world secretly controlled the rest of humanity while avoiding being recorded in history books, but the advent of firearms and science had forced martial artists deeper into the shadows.

Even though the martial world proudly boasted about ruling the shadowy world, objectively speaking... It was forced into the darkness, hidden from the rest of humanity, precisely because they could no longer exist in the light.

In that case, what was the point of getting even more powerful in such a world? The world was already ruled by those with wealth and the ability to collect information, anyway.

There was a time in history when one's fist was all the motive power necessary to push the epoch forward. One's might was all the authority needed to rule over the world, but now... The 'might' had relinquished its status to firearms in the modern era and fallen to the point of mere sideshows.

So, did risking one's life to become physically stronger in such a world make any logical sense? Obviously, Yi Myeong-Hwan knew the answer.

'Yup, only a f*cking moron would do it.'

Indeed, it was an indescribably foolish thing to do. Rather than going through all that hullabaloo, it might be wiser to go to a local convenience store and buy a lottery ticket. If not, one might as well get a real job and try to save up.

What a useless waste of time this was, worrying about something so dumb. Yi Myeong-Hwan already knew the answer, so why was he lying in darkness, wasting his brain power over it? Way too stupid, thought Yi Myeong-Hwan.

Even then...

'...Why am I doing that indescribably idiotic thing even now?'

Plenty of things in this world deserved the label of 'dumb'. Even so, not many of those would be as dumb as racking one's brain over a problem that already had a solution. Yi Myeong-Hwan was fully aware of how stupid he was acting right now, yet...

He just couldn't yank himself out of this dilemma.

What tormented him the most was this lingering regret. He knew it existed in the corner of his heart, but accurately identifying it proved to be next to impossible. And that had been driving him nuts.

'Bloody hell. I'm such a moron...'

Yi Myeong-Hwan groaned, then mouthed a cigarette. He avoided smoking if he could help it since it was bad for a martial artist's health, but a day like today, where frustration didn't want to let him go... He didn't mind lighting one up.

Yi Myeong-Hwan lit his cigarette and got up, then shuffled over to the window.

'What a bunch of idiotic souls...'

Yi Myeong-Hwan could see all the flickering lights behind the windows in the distance. Those lights belonged to the homes of martial artists.

Even though they were private residences, those houses weren't much to write home about. As the Martial Assembly's HQ was located in a deep mountainside, its martial artists had no choice but to get one-room 'houses' in a cramped settlement near the HQ grounds.

Passersby might think of this settlement as just another poor area populated by tiny houses, but the truth was... It was one of the most dangerous places in South Korea. Basically a den of violent demons, in other words!

And the midnight oil was burning brightly in this village of demons even as the clock ticked past four in the morning. Yi Myeong-Hwan's one-room abode was located on a bit of high ground, affording him a good view of the surroundings. And he could see many of his fellow martial artists peeking their heads out of the windows and smoking away here and there.

...Exactly like what Yi Myeong-Hwan was doing, then. The scenery at the HQ's dorms should be fairly similar, too.

“Gee whiz. We're all a bunch of goddamn idiots, aren't we...?”

Yi Myeong-Hwan was comforted by the fact that he wasn't the only idiot in this place who racked his brain over a problem that already had a clear answer available.

'Heh... We can't help but think about it, eh?'

Yi Myeong-Hwan chuckled helplessly. What a stupid idea this was. And it'd be doubly silly to do it, too. However, what if someone challenged that stupid thing? And succeeded? What then?

Could Yi Myeong-Hwan look at that hypothetical someone who became an expert incomparably stronger than him and still have peace of mind? All the while telling himself he made the right call?

'Nope. Definitely not possible.'

Indeed, Yi Myeong-Hwan's innards might burn down in regret and aggravation. He'd curse himself for not taking the gamble... For not challenging this seemingly stupid thing like a man!

Yi Myeong-Hwan was scared of that situation. Scared of seeing himself stuck in that bloody situation! He lacked the courage to risk his life, but... But he also lacked the confidence of whether he'd overcome his jealousy or not...!

Yi Myeong-Hwan was too scared of facing his cowardly and pathetic self.

“Kekekeke...” Yi Myeong-Hwan weakly cackled. “Bloody hell. What a goddamn loser am I...”

After stubbing the cigarette out, Yi Myeong-Hwan closed the window and climbed on to his bed again. However, when he closed his eyes, his head quickly started recalling images of Kang Jin-Ho.

That sight of Kang Jin-Ho crushing and trampling on the Yeongnam Group all by himself...! Even now, Yi Myeong-Hwan's body shuddered all on its own from how cool Kang Jin-Ho was back then as he strode forward, swords in each hand, as blood danced all around him.

Non-martial artists might rebuke Yi Myeong-Hwan for even thinking that a scene of wanton slaughter was cool. They might say such a scene was horrifying and gruesome instead.

However, Yi Myeong-Hwan was a martial artist. To him, what Kang Jin-Ho did that day was something he dreamed of achieving. Any aspiring new martial artist starting their journey in cultivation would dream of becoming someone that strong in the future. They would dream of becoming an existence strong enough to trample on others like insects with their attainment in martial arts. An existence standing aloof on another realm altogether from everyone else, that's what they hoped to become one day!

However, these young martial artists would gradually become jaded by the reality of their situation, their dreams slowly eroding away. From the best of the best standing aloof on top of the mountain to merely the best among their peers... Then, to reach the upper echelons...

And finally, hoping to keep up with the others.

Yi Myeong-Hwan was still hovering around the 'Stronger than my peers' stage, but give him more time to get jaded, and his dream would fall to somewhere near 'As good as others' sooner rather than later.

As he was already aware of his looming fate, Yi Myeong-Hwan couldn't help but view Kang Jin-Ho's powers as something much more than mere physical strength.

That... was a dream. A dream Yi Myeong-Hwan had forgotten. Like a man who had grown too old and spent his days waiting for his final moments, rediscovering an old photo album full of fading photos among his forgotten things and remembering his childhood dreams...!

The ancient memories that were too faded and eroded over time to form clear images in his head had suddenly been revitalized and spread out before Yi Myeong-Hwan's eyes. How could Yi Myeong-Hwan calmly accept this situation, then? When his heart was powerfully quaking and screaming at him?

Even though his head said this fairytale-like story didn't involve him, how was he supposed to handle this feeling when his heart and soul refused to stay resigned and shuddered at the excitement of it all?

“Goddamn it...!”

Only then did Yi Myeong-Hwan squarely face the truth of the lingering regret tormenting him until now. And it was a thought so absurd and unrealistic that he didn't dare speak of it. A dream so embarrassing that even imagining it made him blush! That's what this regret was.

“I, I...”

A barely-suppressed voice creaked out of Yi Myeong-Hwan's mouth, currently pressing down on his pillow.

“I... I want to become like him.”

Like Kang Jin-Ho.

To become like that Kang Jin-Ho!

Yi Myeong-Hwan suddenly began chuckling quietly.

Of course he knew. He knew that was nothing more than a dream. And a dream was a dream precisely because it was unattainable. An achievable dream was no longer a dream but a goal. A dream wasn't supposed to be chased down.

A dream was something that could make one feel better even when viewed from afar. Those who chased after their goals were visionaries and pioneers, while those chasing after dreams were labeled as dreamers and idealists.

Yi Myeong-Hwan wasn't like a dreamer. And that was why he knew the truth. He knew he could never become someone like Kang Jin-Ho.

At this stage in his life, Yi Myeong-Hwan knew that he could never become as strong as Kang Jin-Ho, even if he risked his life. No, even if he risked something even more precious than his life! The difference in strength between him and Kang Jin-Ho would only grow larger with time. He understood all this.

Even so... Even though he knew, Yi Myeong-Hwan just couldn't let this go.

“And that's why I'm such an idiot!”

Yi Myeong-Hwan angrily headbutted the pillow again and again. The 'poof, poof' noises of his head hitting the soft cushion quietly echoed in the room before being replaced by Yi Myeong-Hwan's wry chuckle.

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“Yup, let's just forget about it.”

When it was not meant to be, it was not meant to be. Yi Myeong-Hwang would've challenged it immediately if he thought there was even a small chance. Hell, he might have been willing to bet his life, too.

However... Yi Myeong-Hwan knew the truth. Becoming stronger was an unattainable dream. And realistically speaking, he shouldn't even challenge it in the first place.

It was nothing more than his childish side throwing this damn tantrum, not wanting to let go and refusing to accept his reality.

“Right... Let's just get some sleep.”

Yi Myeong-Hwan squeezed his eyes shut. Although he didn't feel sleepy, he forced himself to sleep anyway. Since he could sleep the whole day if there was no alarm clock to disrupt him, Yi Myeong-Hwan thought he might wake up on the following evening if he went to bed now. If that really happened, he'd no longer be tormented by the agony of his indecision.

While wishing for that situation, Yi Myeong-Hwan squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

“My dream, is it...?”

What a funny notion that was. Besides, it was bullsh*t, anyway.

***

“...F*ck me.”

Yi Myeong-Hwan found himself trudging toward his car.

What a f*cked-up situation this was. Humans were supposedly creatures of habit. Things people always repeatedly performed as if they were the whole point of existence for them. Even if those habits might not entirely be intentional!

As for Yi Myeong-Hwan, his 'habit' was sleeping. Without an alarm, he'd easily sleep for twenty-four hours straight. Even when his physical condition was good, he never slept less than sixteen hours.

In that case, how did he manage to live his life? An alarm clock existed for that. Thankfully, Yi Myeong-Hwan was a light sleeper, so he never failed to wake up on time as long as an alarm clock had been turned on.

“That's supposed to be the case, so why the f*cking hell...?”

So, why did he wake up on his own after only a few hours of sleep? One's habit was supposed to be scary and all-conquering, wasn't it? Yi Myeong-Hwan decided to sleep the whole day away, didn't he?!

However, when he woke up, the first thing he instinctively did was take a shower and put on some new clothes.

...So that he could head to 'work' for the day!

“F*ck!”

Yi Myeong-Hwan swore again and again. He must've gone nuts. Properly nuts! A day like today was custom-made to skip work, yet why was his body forcing him like this?! Was this the sorrow of a modern-era man enslaved by civilization?

Yi Myeong-Hwan kept groaning and sighing while driving his car toward the Assembly's HQ. And the sight of the jam-packed two-lane road leading to the HQ's entrance made him groan and sigh even more.

“You bunch of morons...”

Yi Myeong-Hwan thought he was the only moron in this place, but it seemed he was wrong. Lots more idiots also existed.

However, this much was still fine. Yi Myeong-Hwan had already made up his mind, after all.

Sure, he was heading to the Martial Assembly HQ. Only because he was curious, though. However, he'd never step foot inside the auditorium. He only wanted to find out which comrades of his had chosen to tread the path he had given up and... Well, cheer them on, basically.

Yi Myeong-Hwan genuinely wanted to applaud them for being braver than he could ever be. And cheer them on so they could succeed in their quest. That was his intention, but...

“...What the f*ck.” Yi Myeong-Hwan swore again at the sight of the auditorium's podium right before his eyes. By the time he regained his wits, Yi Myeong-Hwan was already inside the bloody auditorium, sitting comfortably on one of the chairs!

Inside the auditorium?! That bloody auditorium, where Kang Jin-Ho would show up soon?!

Hey, you motherf*cking legs of mine! I never wanted to come here, you know! We need to get out of here, pronto! Right now!

While shouting that in his head, Yi Myeong-Hwan scanned his surroundings, and yet another loud sigh escaped his mouth.

“...F*cking hell.”

That swearing didn't come out of Yi Myeong-Hwan's mouth this time. The culprit was actually sitting somewhere far behind him.

Every single person filling up this auditorium looked like they had been chewing on dogsh*t. Unable to sit still, they fidgeted nervously and stood up only to sit down while cursing to no one in particular.

Yi Myeong-Hwan took in this spectacular sight and held his twitching face.

'You f*cking morons! How can everyone be this stupid?!'

Every one of these idiots must be going through the same mental anguish as Yi Myeong-Hwan.

“...You know what, I don't care anymore,” Yi Myeong-Hwan groaned while leaning back against the chair, then threw his head back. 'Whatever. Who cares what happens anymore?'

Yi Myeong-Hwan was too sick and tired of agonizing over this matter.

'F*ck. I mean... I'm sure we won't really die. Probably?'

Just as Yi Myeong-Hwan's thoughts reached that far, the door to the side of the podium was shoved open, and Kang Jin-Ho walked inside.

Yi Myeong-Hwan felt his heart tumble to the pit of his stomach. However, this inexplicable sense of relief also washed over him.

'Well, there's no going back now.'

Whether he liked it or not, Yi Myeong-Hwan had no choice but to bet his life on it now. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders just as an infinite stream of regret flooded him. Even so, the relief of knowing he no longer needed to agonize about this damn thing was still greater. Last night really was hellish for him, after all!

Kang Jin-Ho scanned the crowd with a stiff expression before addressing them in a weird voice. “Am I to assume that everyone here has made the decision?”

“...Yes.”

Several people replied weakly.

“I see. But, uh...” Kang Jin-Ho frowned a little while scratching the back of his head. “Mm, well... There's been a slight mistake...”

Mistake? What was Kang Jin-Ho even saying all of a sudden?

A sheepish look formed on Kang Jin-Ho's face while he explained what happened. “I checked this morning, and the folks at the Yeongnam Group... No, I mean the Yeongnam Branch, apparently hadn't received the notification to assemble. That was the mistake. I wanted to make it fair for everyone by giving them a chance too, you see? Since that's the case, let's postpone this event until tomorrow. You can agonize over this for another day. Then, see you tomorrow.”

Slam!

After Kang Jin-Ho closed the door behind him and left the auditorium, Yi Myeong-Hwan and his peers could only stare at the closed doorway in indescribable stupefaction.

Another day? Did he say another freaking day?!

They were supposed to go through this crap for one more day?!

Yi Myeong-Hwan lifelessly muttered, “...You son of a b*tch!”

And that served as the signal for everyone to lose their mind. The auditorium was soon filled with colorful languages of every imaginable kind. While listening to curses that even the best soaps might not wash away, Yi Myeong-Hwan slowly held his head.

That man had to be a demon.

A bloody demon!