Chapter 46

This was the Empress’s bedroom.

“Karl!”

Although her voice sounded tired, she called Eckart’s pet name with a clear voice.

Her empty eyes, which didn’t have any emotions, reflected his blue eyes, which was of the same color as her own.

“I’m sorry, Karl.”

Empress Blair pulled her son’s arm and embraced him. Kneeling in front of her bed, he touched his cheek against her swollen cheekbone and closed his eyes.

It was a damn dream again.

Although he knew he was dreaming, he did not wake up. This nightmare always ended when it ran its course. No matter what he did, he had to come back and feel it in her bosom.

“I won’t dare to ask for your forgiveness.”

As if to soothe him, Blair whispered, resting her chin on the crown of his head.

“So, please…”

While touching his golden hair, the evidence of the Frey family’s lineage, she suddenly grabbed his hair with a terrible grip. Eckart raised his head.

Now their blue eyes, which were the only two in this whole world, looked desperately at each other.

“Promise me you will survive no matter what happens to you.”

Eckart gritted his teeth without answering.

Her skin, which was clean right before, had dark red spots on it. Her hollow eyes were red and bloodshot, and her lips that lost color were stained with blood here and there.

Time passed, and Eckart became a twenty-one-year-old young man, not fifteen.

“Even if you crawl on the mud and chew rotten roots, you have to survive.”

“…”

“And get even with them.”

Blair began to shake her hands holding his hair. Her smashed and ruptured scars were broken like sand and scattered. Tears and blood came out of her blue eyes.

“Recover what I lost, and get even with them!”

Eckart looked straight at her miserable face. He had to. She didn’t loosen her tight grip on his hair. He couldn’t even close his eyes or speak. He could feel only the sharp sense of her tears of blood falling on his cheeks.

“Karl, my poor son…”

Blair became emaciated little by little, before only feeling lament. Just like a sculpture made out of snow melting away under the light of the sun, and a castle made of sand swept away by the waves, she turned into a handful of ashes, holding her son.

Eckart extended his arms belatedly. He shook his arms violently as if he was trying to grab her non-existent body. He snatched away at the air in order to catch even ashes falling down to the floor.

“Your Excellency!”

At that moment, an urgent voice rang through his ears.

Eckart opened his eyes suddenly.

“It hurts! Please let me go!”

Fully reflected in his eyes was Marianne, looking down at him, about to cry.

He paused like a broken clock for a moment and then let go of her wrists.

Marianne frowned, touching her numb wrists.

“You were sleeping in an uncomfortable position, so I tried to help you…”

Although she complained, Eckart was so spaced out at the moment to even apologize.

He had fallen asleep while he was seated, so his back was stiff. He erected his body and crouched forward. The documents barely sitting on his knees swept onto the floor.

As he fully rested the back of his head on the chair, his stiffness traveled from his head to his back. He even had a headache because he drank before going to sleep last night. He pressed his temple hard with his slender hand and rubbed his stiff eyes.

“What time is it?”

“It’s five o’clock.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You looked so tired. I heard from Sir Curtis that you hardly slept yesterday.”

“He made useless remarks. He seems to have slackened after serving for only a few years in the north…”

Eckart stood up to adjust his collar compulsively, which hadn’t been disturbed. He didn’t know whether it was because of his dream, alcohol, or exhaustion, but he felt dizzy suddenly.

“Are you okay?” Marianne anxiously asked, supporting his arm.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

Eckart refused her help. He was on edge when he replied. His face was noticeably pale.

“But you don’t look well at all.”

He felt her concerned voice sounded bizarre.

She continued, “You were frowning all along even before you woke up.”

He felt disgusted and even nauseous. The illusion of her late mother, who had already disappeared, scratched his inner eyelids whenever he blinked his eyes.

“Did you dream a nightmare by any chance?”

“Damn it! I told you I’m okay!”

Eckart raised his voice unconsciously. He breathed out quickly, which he was holding back. He stared at her coldly. As it turned out, the words she picked were not good.

Marianne stiffened at his unexpected violent reaction.

The emperor threw a sword to test her bodyguard, Iric, and made fun of her with sarcastic remarks, but he had never shouted loudly without hiding his anger. In fact, he was getting so angry that she even felt like her life was at stake.

“I just said that because I was worried about you…”

The end of her sentence faded. When her momentary fear disappeared, she began to feel resentful about him.

‘What did I do wrong?’

She heard he sat up all night yesterday and had a hard time at the cabinet meeting the next morning. He didn’t rest back home, and fell asleep while reviewing the documents all the time. She felt sorry for him and tried to help him sleep comfortably. Her wrists he grasped tightly still hurt, but he got upset instead of apologizing to her.

‘Do you hate me so much? Even if you don’t like me, how come you are so upset about me? Why do you get angry for my concern about you? You were nice to me when I turned ugly in the past. Besides, you embarrassed me by refusing my help when I held your hands. If you don’t want to touch me, you can just express it by saying so. You know you lifted me up and put me down on the couch…’

“…I’m sorry,” she said, biting her red lips. She suddenly felt offended.

Funnily enough, she broke into tears suddenly. She knew the mood right now didn’t warrant her tears. But her clear green eyes quickly became wet with tears.

“I didn’t neglect your words. I apologize because I have made you uncomfortable with my overconcern.”

“Marianne!”

“Let me go back and reflect on myself. Please forgive me for not seeing you off.”

“Wait. I haven’t allowed you to leave yet…”

Eckart pulled her hand, which was lifting the hem of her dress. Caught by him urgently, she looked back.

Her resentful eyes were reflected in his blue eyes, and her overflowing tears came down her flushed cheeks finally.

After all, he did not say what he was going to say. With the veins standing out on his hand grabbing her, he let go of her after hesitating a bit.

After bowing out briefly, she left the parlor without looking back.

As if to show her dry feelings, she closed the door with a bang.

“Damn it… ”

Eckart ruffled his hair with his rough hands.

Bang!

He kicked the table hard against the couch, making a loud noise.

***

After the emperor returned, Marianne was stuck in the room for a while. And it wasn’t until dinner time that she reappeared at the dining room with swollen eyes.

Obviously her face was swollen.

“What about my father?”

When she asked in a croaky voice, Mrs. Charlotte replied, pouring lemon into a cup.

“He sent us the message that he couldn’t leave the palace today.”

“Did he say he was busy?”

“Well, I think he had a lot to pay attention to because they passed agendas like a tax law and an engagement ceremony at the cabinet meeting.”

“I see… ”

Marianne nodded roughly and raised fork. She dug up some vegetables on the plate and put some peas in her mouth.

She felt a simple sense inside her mouth before the taste. It didn’t hurt when the food touched the inside of her mouth. The herb ointment offered by the imperial medical office seemed to have been quite effective.

‘How come he took pains to get me this ointment when he didn’t like me?’

When she thought about the small pottery inside her drawer, she felt bad again.

‘Well, he said that he can’t get the due ransom if a hostage is injured. He even said he didn’t want to work with a collaborator who was stupid like me.’

Looking back, there were all kinds of excuses to make a big fuss today. She nervously shoved the fork into the steak loaf.

She was okay even if he gave her advice in a terrible way or didn’t trust her since she was clumsy in everything. Just like he said, it was a fact that she grew up in a very comfortable greenhouse. She wished he had treated her more kindly, but given his noble status and natural character, she had reason to be grateful to him for his current attitude toward her.

‘Nonetheless, I felt like I got a little closer to him.’