Chapter 248 - Hesitant Inclinations

The Emperor smiled and wrapped his hands around her and rested his cheek on top of her head, closed his eyes, and simply enjoyed holding her for a bit. She had told him a lot of things, he understood some of it and others he did not. But they were not important, she was all that mattered to him at the moment.

But there is something that he was interested in, "Xing er', I'm curious about something..."

"Ask..." Lei Xing absentmindedly responded. Now that she had told him the truth about her transmigration, there was really nothing else she could not say.

"You said you found yourself here in a different body, correct?"

"En."

"So...What does your real self look like?" The Emperor tentatively asked. He had been sitting on this question all afternoon and his curiosity only grew as she talked more and more about this very different world. 

Lei Xing knit her brows and then suddenly sat up and looked at him. Then smiled and asked, "You want to see?"

The Emperor blinked at her and then nodded with a smile. He did not expect that she could actually show him. This day was filled with all sorts of surprising things.

Lei Xing's smile brightened and then she sweetly said, "I'll draw a portrait for you then~" She then went about flattening out a blank sheet of paper on the table. 

The Emperor's smile faltered and he immediately went, "You'll draw?"

Lei Xing stopped and turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "Are you doubting my skills?"

"No, just pleasantly surprised. Go ahead." The Emperor swiftly responded and Lei Xing continued on with a smile.

The Emperor had definitely not forgotten the past glory of her ant painting, but still, he watched her work with avid interest and an adoring smile. But then as her painting started to come to life, his smile started to go through different phases until it was just a confused frown. 

{...Could that really a face?... A pot maybe? But not a - No, she said it was a portrait of herself...So this is her? Truly?...}

"Done!" Lei Xing finally said after a while longer. She then held up her work for the Emperor with a proud smile, "What do you think?"

The Emperor gave her a weak half-smile and scrutinized her "portrait".

It was an odd piece with a large round face, big round eyes that took up half the face with only three eyelashes at the top. There was an odd-looking squiggly line that he assumed was a nose and then a little flat line as the mouth. Then there was a helmet looking thing at the top which he assumed was hair. The crowning jewel of this masterpiece were the different shaped dots scattered around the face.

"Emperor~...Your majesty?" Lei Xing sweetly called and then she cleared her throat, "You seem to be frozen in joy~" She added with a snicker. 

The Emperor then realized that she was playing with him and narrowed his eyes at her. Then snorted, he actually could not believe that he was seriously contemplating how a person could actually look like this. 

"What's funny? I really looked like this, I had warts all over too..." Lei Xing then sighed and pat the Emperor's shoulder, "Actually, this might come as a much bigger shock but since we're being honest with each other now. I have to tell you that...I was actually an old woman..." Lei Xing sincerely said.

"An old woman?" The Emperor exclaimed with wide eyes as he blinked at her. He suspected that she was playing again, but her expression was so serious, that he could not simply dismiss it as a joke, "Truly?" 

Lei Xing nodded and the Emperor knit his brows in thought as he stared at her.

Lei Xing scrutinized him and then sighed as she gave him reassuring pat his shoulders, "Ahh, poor young man. It's too bad for you if you fell in love with this beautiful face but don't worry, I will understand it if you are unable to get past the age barrier~..." 

The Emperor's knit eyebrows tightened and Lei Xing finally could not help bursting into laughter. This was fun for her, he was really too easy...It was adorable. 

The Emperor let out a sigh of relief as he grabbed her face and squished it, "Xing er', my feelings for you have nothing to do with your body. I -"

Lei Xing snorted, "Not even if I'm an old woman?"

The Emperor hesitated for a bit and then said, "I would still love and respect you...but..." He paused and knit his brows, trying to think of the best words to explain to her.

"But?" Lei Xing asked narrowing her eyes at him. The Emperor frowned and Lei Xing chuckled and removed his hands from her face, "I'm just joking, I was definitely not an old woman. But I am older than you though, so you should still show me respect as an elder~" 

The Emperor relaxed again and then smilingly went, "Oh? And how old is this elder?"

Lei Xing squinted at him, "Fifty. Okay, just twenty-five, truthfully... As for how I looked, Hmm...I'm not sure how to describe features. But let me try, my chin wasn't this pointed, I had higher cheekbones, the nose was a bit - Hm, I don't know. I guess my face was a bit rounder, my hair was way shorter, easier to maintain, about here...?" Lei Xing said touching her shoulder.

"See, I'm horrible at this...Ah, the eyes are the same. It's uncanny but they really are the same, they look and feel the same..." Lei Xing said hugging the Emperor and leaning on his chest with a sigh. 

"I love looking at your eyes, they are definitely your best feature. Although you avert them a bit too much." The Emperor smilingly said, narrowing his eyes at her.

Lei Xing narrowed her eyes back at him, "Well then, I'll try to look at you more often."

"I expect that~" The Emperor said and Lei Xing laughed and then hugged his waist and leaned on his chest.

The Emperor let out a happy sigh as he hugged her back. After a while, he hesitantly asked, "Xing er', did you -...were you...married?" She had spoken of parents and siblings, but nothing about a spouse, and knowing her age now, she should have been married already.

Lei Xing lightly snorted, "No, was not interested."

The Emperor raised an eyebrow, "Why not?" 

Lei Xing lightly shrugged, "It seemed like a hassle and I also didn't meet anyone I liked enough to want to bother with it. I was fine being by myself." 

The Emperor was quiet for a while, then he quietly asked, "And now?"

Lei Xing went rigid for a moment and the Emperor knit his brows and his mood dampened. But then she raised her head up to him and the Emperor looked down at her warmly. 

Lei Xing would be lying if she claimed to be unaware of the Emperor's insecurities. It was one thing when she was not paying attention and was being willfully oblivious, but when she was paying attention she noticed the little things. He always seemed to be tiptoeing around her, always trying not to upset her, always apologizing for what was not even his fault.

Lei Xing knew this was obviously her fault, with her once being so eager to leave him and there was that edict too.

When Lei Xing did not say anything, the Emperor knit his brows but swiftly corrected it with a smile, and went, "Xing er', you don't have to answer. It's alright, it was a random passing thought. It means little to nothing."

"Okay." Lei Xing lightly said and she intently watched as the Emperor's smile faltered, but he maintained it and remained smiling for her and nodded.

Lei Xing sighed and then brought up a hand to his face, raised her head, and gave him a light kiss. Then she sat back and smiled at him and said, "You're more than I could imagine."

The Emperor's smile became a bit brighter, but the smile still looked somewhat sad, as if he simply smiling for her and not because he was happy.

Lei Xing lowered her eyes as her heart pounded loudly in her ears. She wanted to make him happy. Regardless of his future actions, he had already done so much for her in the present and made her feel something she thought might possibly be love.

Since he already made her entertain the thought and she knew hearing those words would make him happy, help reduce his insecurities and reassure his heart. She thought she might as well say them. So Lei Xing let out a breath and raised up her reddened face, "I- I...think I might...I -"

The Emperor pat her head and said, "Xing er', it is truly alright. Why don't you tell about -"

"Just let me say this." Lei Xing interjected with a disgruntled pout at him. The Emperor blinked and nodded. Lei Xing took a deep breath and still pouting, she looked in his eyes and began again, "I think..." She paused, knit her brows and just blurted out, "I might be in love with you."

The Emperor blinked at her in surprise. Lei Xing bit her lip and knit her brows at him, waiting for his response. 

"Say something..." Lei Xing mumbled when the Emperor had still not said anything after a bit. 

"Ah..." Was all the Emperor could manage before breaking out into a happy laugh and grabbing her face and kissing it all over. Then he softly kissed her lips then rested his forehead against hers with his eyes closed and whispered, "Thank you..."

***

Chen You rigidly sat in the carriage as it rolled on full speed back towards the capital. They had stopped to rest when a messenger bird arrived. The next thing the guards informed her that she has been urgently summoned back to the capital. 

Chen You asked for a reason but the message said nothing but the Empress dowager ordered her immediate and swift return. That statement stopped Chen You's heart and made her blood run cold. She absentmindedly entered the carriage and now they here they were speeding towards the capital.

Chen You looked at the two maids who were shivering and crying in fear and she frowned as her eyes heated up as tears pooled in them. 

{... This is all that stupid Chun Hua's fault!... If I had known this would happen, I would have just -...}

Chen You looked up and blinked back the tears. This was all that stupid Lei Xing's fault.

Chen You honestly still did not understand how Lei Xing could have gotten the Emperor so completely enamored with her that he even forgave an affair. An affair with his own brother! If it were anyone else, they would have killed Lei Xing and Prince Yi together, or at least, they would have banished her. 

And now the Empress dowager was coming after her...She honestly did not know what to do. Chen You had thought that the Empress dowager had let her go, after all, the Emperor had already punished her. 

{...Or could it be about that monk?...}

Chen You rubbed her sweaty palms on her plain dress and swallowed as she just now remembered that there was still that issue.

All this was that stupid Chun Hua's fault. Now that she had thought about things, she really let herself become a fool for this Chun Hua. The Monk was Chun Hua's idea and it was Chun Hua who found the monk.

Chen You never asked Chun Hua how she found this monk or even bothered to confirm his identity. For all she knew, it was probably a fake monk trying to con her and the Empress dowager. 

Now that it had come to this, what would she tell the Empress dowager? She definitely could not say she thinks the monk is a con, the Empress dowager may very well kill her for it.

The worst part was that she had no idea what happened to Chun Hua, she did not even know if she was still alive. With no Chun Hua here, it seemed as if she would have to face the Empress dowager's wrath alone?

{...This is so unfair! All I did was try to help and - Why do I have to be the one punished while that useless Lei Xing becomes Empress! How does this make sense?!...}

Chen You clenched her fists in anger and frustration, she took deep breaths trying to calm herself and hold back her tears. At the very least, she did not think she will die. At most, she would have to suffer a little. She was preparing herself. 

{...It's okay, I just have to be smart about this. It'll be fine, the Emperor will be there. He already spared me for my father's sake so I will be fine...I can get through this. I just have to tell her the truth. This is was all Chun Hua's fault!..}

Chen You felt reassured. She could reason with the Empress dowager, she would explain herself and the truth and if she plays her cards right, then she might even be able to return to the palace without ever stepping foot in the temple. She had been demoted to a concubine, but she was still the Emperor's wife and was, therefore under his protection. 

She did nothing wrong, it was not her fault. Therefore, she will be fine.