Chapter 242 - Limited Options

Instead of going to Lei Xing's palace, the Emperor went to the royal study to calm down first. He knew he had just made a hasty decision but he could not entertain the idea of them being incompatible for even a second. 

If he had shown any hesitation in that moment then that would have shown that his resolve could be weakened. And those who want this to fail will feel that they could pressure and persuade him into changing his mind, either directly or indirectly. And this would end up putting Lei Xing in more harm's way. 

With this, he showed that he was willing to be unreasonable in this matter...and if not for anything, fear will keep troublemakers at bay for now. But he knew all he did was buy time. Trouble will still come and it may even be more troublesome.

But what else was he supposed to do in this situation? He could not think of any other ideas that would not cause as much trouble. If he chose not to marry Lei Xing now.

He would one day still have to choose an Empress and he doubted the results given today would have changed by then. This would mean that he would have to choose to someone else and he knew for a fact that Lei Xing would not okay with that decision. 

Eunuch Li watched the Emperor for a while, feeling concerned and conflicted. Finally, he could not help but speak up, "Your majesty, I understand how you feel about Noble consort Lei but this...are you sure about this?"

Before the Emperor could respond, an eunuch came in to inform that Defense minister Lei was here requesting an audience with the Emperor. 

The Emperor let out an exasperated breath and then said to let him in. Eunuch Li sighed and then left the room as Defense minister Lei entered to give them privacy.

Defense minister Lei bowed and then looked up at the Emperor. The Emperor did not flinch and neither was he offended by the direct gaze. Defense minister Lei had made it clear just now in the hall that he did not approve of this decision.

Lei Yong had also told him a while back that their parents did not approve of Lei Xing entering the palace. And back then, even the Emperor had told Lei Yong that he understood and agreed with the Lei parents. But today, he was not going back down, regardless of his understanding and appreciation of his father-in-law's sentiment and worry for his daughter's welfare.

Defense minister Lei bowed his head with a sigh and said, "Your majesty, please reconsider this decision."

"I will not." The Emperor bluntly but calmly responded.

Defense minister Lei frowned, "Your majesty, think of the repercussions..."

"I am aware of them." The Emperor cooly responded. 

Defense minister Lei was not convinced that he was fully aware of the ramifications of this choice because he went ahead to explain them, "Even if this is just a scheme. It is a well thought out one that will forever hang over our heads... The moment anything goes wrong in the nation, no matter how far removed it is from Xing er'. The people will blame her and by extension, you. I ask your majesty to please spare her this turmoil..." He finished with a deep bow.

The Emperor sighed and then said, "I understand your concerns but my decision remains the same." He had asked for this to be investigated and even with that, somewhere in his core, he knew this was not a scheme. But his belief remained the same, this was not the wrong choice. 

Defense minister Lei then got on his knees and said, "Your majesty, Xing er' grew up as a sickly child who always kept her feelings to herself. I understand that you have deep feelings for her, I have heard and have seen for myself that she is happier here. It might be selfish of me to keep asking this but Your majesty, this child is naive and has let her heart lead her here and may not see the grand scenery but you do..."

"...You have lived life in the palace and you know what this stage that they have set would mean for her future. It will be a hard one. She is already married to you and I can do nothing about that, but I beseech you not to place this extra burden on her shoulders..." Defense minister Lei said kowtowing.

The Emperor stared at the kowtowing father and then got up with a sigh and went down to Defense minister Lei and said, "Please stand up..." He said as he held on to Defense minister Lei's arm and pulled him up. 

Once he was standing the Emperor said, "I understand your concerns but Xing er' is not as weak as you think and she is definitely not naive. She was quite astute and has a mind that naturally considers the grand scenery. I will naturally protect her and the Lei family from harm...But I remain firm in my decision." The Emperor calmly but resolutely said.

Defense minister Lei sighed, "Your majesty, protecting from physical harm is very different from protecting her heart...Words and accusations still cut deep. Since you have made up your mind. I have no choice but to leave her in your care." Defense minister Lei said bowing.

The Emperor did not say anything in response and simply nodded. Defense minister Lei gave a second bow and then left.

The Emperor let out a heavy sigh. Defense minister's Lei's words resonated with him. But even they did, he had little choice but to continue down this path.

His life had never been easy and he had long come to terms with that fact. He had always had work extremely hard for everything and he will continue to do so no matter what life threw at him. 

***

The Empress dowager sleeping peacefully when she suddenly frowned and began tossing. She grabbed at her own neck and started squeezing it and then began gasping for breath. Then she suddenly let out a blood-curdling scream and sat up in dazed, dazed, out of breath, sweaty and frightened.

Ling mama who was outside the room heard the shout and immediately ran in to check on the Empress dowager. She found the Empress dowager breathing heavily while holding her neck with one hand, while the other pressed down on her chest.  

"Youg majesty, are you okay?" Ling mama asked as she hesitantly approached the Empress dowager.

"Have they found that monk?" The Empress dowager breathily asked in a raspy voice.

"Monk? Your majesty, you called off the search..." Ling mama reminded with knit eyebrows. As much as she wanted to cozy up to the Empress dowager, the woman was truly becoming unstable. One had to approach her with her caution.

The Empress dowager glanced at her with bloodshot eyes, "Called off?... Yes, yes, I did. He left..." The Empress dowager went silent for a long while with a deep scowl forming on her face.

Ling mama poured a cup of water and brought it over to the Empress dowager, "Your majesty have some water."

The Empress dowager stared at the cup for a bit and then slapped it out of her hand and menacingly said, "Bring me Chen You. She found him...She can find him for me. She must..." She said, with her mind still hazy and reeling from the terrifying nightmare. 

Ling mama pursed her lips and then hesitantly informed, "Your majesty, Noble consort Chen was sent to Fen Li temple a few days ago -"

"What?!" The Empress dowager barked and then quickly got up from the bed, only to immediately fall to the ground. She groaned in pain as she held onto her throbbing chest.

Ling mama immediately knelt beside her and exclaimed, "Your majesty!" She then shouted, "Send for an imperial doctor!"

"No!" The Empress dowager barked. "What is the use of those useless fools?! I need Chen You...get me Chen You, NOW!"

"Oh okay, I will go inform the Emperor to send for her." Ling mama said and was about to get up, when the Empress dowager gripped her arm, "NO! We can't do that."

{...That useless son is not trustworthy...}

"I will settle this myself." The Empress dowager breathily said. She closed her eyes and then took a few deep breaths to calm herself, then she said, "Ready a bath and tell the Emperor that I am leaving to continue my search for the Monk... Do not mention anything else." The Empress dowager warned narrowing her eyes at Ling mama.

Ling mama nodded and then the Empress dowager released her and said, "Get out."

"Your majesty, let me at least help you back into be-"

"I said GET OUT!" The Empress barked.

Ling mama immediately bowed and hastily left the room, leaving the Empress dowager on the ground. The Empress dowager then opened her shirt and looked down at her chest. As expected there was not even cut much less a sword wound. Yet she could feel the piercing, burning pain from being run through. 

She had been having a strange nightmare for a while now since meeting Monk Du. She would find herself running through what looked to be a cherry blossom forest. There were always dark shapes in the distance behind her, coming towards her, chasing her. 

She would keep running to somewhere, somewhere she did not know. But she seemed to be going somewhere as her movements always seemed purposeful. And then she would always come upon this clearing amongst the trees and there she would come face to face with someone who looked just like her. 

But before she could even question anything, the other her would dash for her and run her through with a sword with the words, 'You are useless to me.' And then the dark shapes which seemed to always maintain their distance would suddenly envelop them both, suffocating her. And she would always wake up just as the other her disappeared from view.   

It was always the same dream...but today it was different. First of all, the pain felt more real and carried over into her waking life. But there was something else, this time as the dark shadows consumed them, she heard a Voice say to her, "Xiao Yun, control your emotions." And then she saw him, a figure dressed in white beyond the trees, in the distance watching her get swallowed up by the dark figures. 

He just stood there watching her suffer.

And then she woke up with her throat and chest burning intensely. The pain was real, she felt it. Although it had dulled, she could still feel the sword embedded in her even now. 

She needed to find Monk Du, even if he turned out to be a fraud. He still knew things, he knew those words and that was the only she had ever gotten. She needed to find him...She needed to find it or she would truly run mad.