Chapter 236 - Conflicting Loyalties

The Emperor watched Lei Xing's increasingly unhappy expression and his bad mood started to resurface again. He had not considered that this issue would have upset Lei Xing so much.

But now that he was confronted with it, he could understand how this revelation could be upsetting to her and how it could cast some doubts on their relationship. And the last thing he wanted was to give Lei Xing any reason to withdraw into her shell again. 

So he tried to reassure her again, "Xing er', there's nothing to worry about regarding this matter...It's just..." He paused and knit his brows, as he thought of words to explain away this revelation and to pacify her with.

But before he could find his words, Lei Xing looked up and waved it away, "It's fine." Then she leaned forward and seriously asked, "Do you...by any chance, have any ornaments or jewelry you always wear or carry on your person? Something you've had with you since you were a child...You know, since that incident?"

The Emperor raised his eyebrows at her, it was an odd question, but he thought about it and responded, "No."

Lei Xing thought again and then rephrased the question, "Any keepsakes you've had since you were a child?"

"No."

lei Xing knit her brows in thought.

{...Then what could it be..his hair? Or his - *cough* obviously not, I can't believe I just thought of that, I am horrible! Crazy! >_

"Why are you asking those questions?" The Emperor asked with slightly knit eyebrows.

Lei Xing blinked at him and then decided to respond with some honesty, this way she may be able to make progress in this discussion.

So she said, "Well, it's just this whole voice thing is quite fascinating and I was thinking that...Um, I read it in a book once, a long time ago, about something like this happening. I naturally assumed it was just a story but hearing about your case now I remembered it...Anyway, the character in the book experienced the same things as you but, this voice entity was linked to a stone the character carried with him...So I was wondering if you had a stone of some sort..."

"You found it in a book? What book?" The Emperor swiftly asked with keen interest. He had tried to find answers but had never found any clues. 

"Oh, I, unfortunately, don't remember. I just know that I've heard about it before...I'm sorry..." Lei Xing apologetically responded and then she continued on to ask, "So do you have a stone or something else that you've always had around you during these -...odd incidents?"

The Emperor let out a disappointed breath as he remembered her memory loss. It was truly unfortunate. He knit his brows in thought and then shook his head, "Nothing of the sort."

Lei Xing let out her own disappointed breath and then looked back down. She was mentally exhausted, it had been too long of a day.

{...So maybe not the quack then?... But then what is it? And what are the freaking odds of this?... No, I'm sure he definitely knows a thing or two about this...One said perfect pair and the other gave me some crap about similar energies and stuff. He would definitely know -_-)...}

The Emperor studied Lei Xing for a bit and then he went, "Xing er'..."

"En?" Lei Xing absentmindedly responded without even looking up.

The Emperor was silent for a bit, still studying her and then he bluntly asked, "Do you know more about this? You seem to be holding back..."

Lei Xing momentarily went rigid and then looked up at him with a blank expression.

Rather than give her a chance to dismiss his words, the Emperor spoke up first, "...I'll be honest, I've always thought you were somehow linked to it. Simply because things with you have always seemed to be...different -" He paused and let out a sigh.

"...I would not be shocked or at all bothered if you told me you had ties to it... I wouldn't think you or it have any ill intent so you have nothing to be worried about. Tell me what you know..." The Emperor calmly expressed looking at Lei Xing with a leveled gaze.

Lei Xing stared back at him for a bit, gauging the situation. She could see from his demeanor that he seemed to be on to her. She must have been too eager in her questioning and too disappointed with his poor responses. 

{...I mean anyone with a brain would figure something was up with that sort of behavior...I even pulled out a freaking questionnaire, so dumb (⇀︿↼‶)...}

He had opened up to her a lot and it probably was not easy for him. Lei Xing could feel the pressure now. If she lied now, she felt their newly budding relationship will take a huge hit. And frankly, she felt it was disrespectful to lie to him given how forthcoming he was with his secrets. 

But at the same time, as annoying as Doctor Lou was sometimes, he nevertheless helped Lei Xing, even saved her life on a few occasions, kept her secrets and aided her. Therefore, it did not feel right for her to simply rat him out like this either.

Especially, when she did not know what the full facts of the situation were. He might have a good reason for keeping the Emperor in the dark or it might not even be him. She just did not feel comfortable jumping the gun and simply exposing his secrets like this. 

Moreover, all she had were suspicions. Lei Xing inwardly sighed, this was truly a dilemma. 

She continued to hesitate for a while and the Emperor patiently waited. Finally, Lei Xing sighed and awkwardly admitted, "I am not sure...I think I might know something...No, I think I might know someone who does but...I can't be sure. So how about I talk to them and then I...could get back to you?"

"Is it that doctor?" The Emperor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes...?" Lei Xing awkwardly admitted.

{...See, I knew it...He's not an idiot. Good thing I didn't lie *phew* -_-)'..}

"I see..." The Emperor calmly responded as he kept looking at her with the same measured gaze that made her feel like an open book.

It was uncomfortable.

Lei Xing shifted and then said, "You can come with me...if you want..." She was initially not planning to actually physically go see Doctor Lou physically. But now that she said it out loud to him, she had to make the trip otherwise she would appear suspicious. 

The Emperor scrutinized Lei Xing and he could clearly see how awkward she was being. Although she remained seated and still kept her hands in his, he could feel her palms getting sweaty. She was agitated. It suddenly felt as if they had reverted to the time when she treated him like a predator and the Emperor did not like it.

"It's fine...You can go talk to him and tell me what you find..." The Emperor finally said. While he was curious about this voice entity, he was more concerned about Lei Xing.

Lei Xing blinked at him and then nodded. He smiled at her and she gave a strained half-smile back and then she got up and awkwardly said, "I'm tired...I'm going to sleep. Y-you can go be busy or..." She paused, not sure what to say and then she just abandoned the sentence and flew over to her dresser and began to take out the hairpins from her hair. 

{...Ahh, this is such an awkward situation...That quack better have a good explanation for all this and he better be Freaking Grateful! >_

She heard the Emperor sigh and then stand up. She thought he was leaving and pouted, feeling awful. But then he came up next to her and then turned her to face him.

Lei Xing stopped and looked at him apprehensively worried that he wanted to continue to pursue the matter. But then he just casually took over the task of taking out the last few hairpins and combed out her hair with his hand.

"You're not leaving?" Lei Xing quietly asked.

The Emperor looked at her face and then sighed, "I'm tired too...Let's sleep."

Lei Xing blinked at him with grateful eyes and then she hugged his waist tightly and then gently said, "You know...I really, really like you."

The Emperor smiled and hugged her back, patting her head, "I know..."

Lei Xing squeezed him tighter and closed her eyes. She would talk to the good doctor and then she will think about telling him.

{...I really will...I promise! o(TヘTo)...}

After a bit, Lei Xing stepped back and looked at his smiling face and she felt an urgent need to give him something in return for opening up to her. And because she could not give what he wanted at the moment, she would give what she could.

And so she stepped forward again, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep passionate kiss.

{...Thank you~...}

The Emperor easily opened for her as always, wrapping his arms around her, fully indulging in the reverie that she was. Whenever she instigated the passion like this, it set his head spinning. It was a rare delight for him. Before long, the two were pulling at each other's clothes and littering the floor with them as they meandered their way through the room.

They did sleep...but it was a long time after~