Chapter 173 - The Princes' Past

meanwhile, Prince Yi stormed out into his residence, still fuming. He directly went into his study and locked the door and then proceeded to smash whatever he could get his hands on, venting out the anger that was still raging on the inside. Sending the sounds of wreckage through his manor, causing everyone within to shrink into their shells, all wondering what happened to the Prince, but all too scared to go to him.  

Prince Yi smashed everything around him, there was nothing of value in there...Nothing of value in his life. 

{...He made me a fool...He must have laughed when I asked to stay with that woman...must have thought I was a fool who was beneath him...I was so stupid...No, he made stupid. It's all his fault!...}

The memories of his years in ignorant stupidity and the years he spent thinking the woman who ordered his mother's death was the only good thing the world. His life had gone down to hell while his younger brother's who had been pitying and worrying about his mother's confinement, rose from the ashes and settled back on the pedestal with ease. While he had never even made it to the pedestal. 

He was content at the bottom, life was unfair but he was content but then life became and he could not help but be resentful.....He was jealous, he knew. He might have been unfair, he knew. But his younger needed some unfairness in his life, why did everything always right itself when it came to him, his younger brother had everything he ever wanted. Everything they all wanted.

He had their father's approval. The only one who did. If their father were ever capable of love, he had it. But he was conceited and saw what they all craved for as nothing, held no regard for it, while he basked in its glory. It made sense, Jun Kai was just like their father. Cold, manipulative and condescending. But even still, he still tried to spare him. 

When the enraged Crown prince wanted to send assassins, he persuaded him to go for the kidnapping scheme and use the assassination as a backup plan...to give him a chance to live. He knew as long as he lived, the rest of them will always fall to the wayside, but still, he tried to spare him. He was not sure why, but he did and hoped he would quietly disappear from there. They all knew their father well and if Jun Kai really became a hostage and by the enemy, their father may just pay the price, but only so he could bring him back and kill him himself for the disgrace. 

And so, he hoped he would take the chance to disappear on his own and make all their lives much easier. The Empress would have been fine, Jun Kai was not really her son and the Crown prince had no mother so her position as the Empress dowager would still have been secure. He worried for her, as he thought she was the reason that he stayed alive until he could leave the palace. After that day when she reprimanded Consort Ji, 

Jun Kai also ignored him and he spitefully ignored him in turn. But he was grateful to the Empress, she had saved him and was nice to him on occasion as well, asking after his welfare when she came across him. She was always nice with a warm smile. When everybody else forgot him and treated him as nothing, she remembered he existed. She was nice to everyone. He was jealous of Jun Kai, jealously angry about how licky he had been to have someone that nice. But as usual, Jun Kai never appreciated anything, he had everything but showed a condescending indifference. It was infuriating and so his anger towards him grew.

That was until he had discovered the truth three years ago, when he was finally coming into a new sense of hope, a new sense of being, his world turned upside down again. 

By the age of fifteen, their father had already given Jun Kai full control of the army with the mandate to forge ahead and expand the empire. Jun Kai's reputation was soaring to new heights, obscuring the existence of the Crown prince. And the Crown prince was getting increasingly anxious about his situation and had asked for permission many times to join the war, but their father kept refusing him with the words, 'This is where you are needed'. 

They had been raised not to question their father, but the Crown prince could not back on this issue and so butted heads with their father many times asking for an explanation as to why the fourth prince was allowed to increase his reputation, while he had to sit here fading into the background. The Crown Prince asked but their father never bothered to give a reason and always dismissed him.

As the days progressed the Crown Prince became more agitated and paranoid. And one night, he visited Prince Yi's manor, incredibly sullen and asked for a drink and while they drank he sullenly informed, "I am going to be deposed."

Prince Yi froze, completely baffled, "What?"

The Crown Prince laughed mockingly and grabbed the jar of wine and gulped it down and then said, "That's not right. The position was never mine in the first place, I was just keeping the seat warm."

"What do you mean? You are the recognized Crown Prince and the position has been for so many years. Did father say something?"

The Crown Prince sat quietly for a while, then sneered, "I have figured it out. I finally understand what it all means...He's going to kill me."

Prince Yi frowned and thought that he was talking about the Jun Kai, they have made various attempts to kill him all these years and have all failed. His retaliation was expected and Prince Yi was confused by the Crown prince's sudden worry over that issue. But then again, the Crown prince has always been the anxious sort. Prince Yi sighed and tried to reason with him, "The battlefield seems to be keeping him busy enough and even if he did try, it won't be easy to accomplish. We have prepared ourselves for this."

The Crown Prince frowned and irritatedly said, "Not him...Father."

Prince Yi raised his eyebrows in confusion and asked, "Why would he?"

The Crown prince took another gulp from the jug then quietly said, "Because that's how he is...How many deposed Crown princes can continue to live? He didn't even let his brothers who posed no threat live, how would he just let me go? It's fight or die..."

Prince Yi frowned, still confused. He understood from the Crown prince's words that he wanted to rebel, a drastic and dangerous move. But he still did not understand what was driving the Crown prince's sudden instinct to fight. Their father had not admonished him recently, at least not publicly and he had stopped asking to go to war, so everything seemed alright and this came out of nowhere, "Why are you suddenly thinking this? Father ha-"

The Crown Prince suddenly got up in anger and threw the jug to the wall, smashing it and barked, "Don't you understand?! He was using me as a screen to protect that bastard! Giving this position was to shut people up! To protect that bastard! That bastard can go to war to get prestige and I can't!... For what reason?!" He sat back down and sneered, "It's because he's scared I'll kill him, just like he did to his father. He cannot trust me, but he can trust that bastard!"

Prince Yi frowned in thought. It was never made public that their father had killed his father to ascend the throne, but rumors flew around. It was announced that their grandfather had passed away due to disappointment over the conflict with Xia Empire. That aside, it still felt like the Crown prince was being paranoid, so Prince Yi tried again to advise, "Don't you think you are reading too much into this?... Father may just be keeping you here for your own safety-"

"Safety? When has he ever cared about anyone's safety? Now is the time to act! If I wait for that bastard to return, then it will really be too late. I have tried my best but I can never please him, it is only that bastard that he seems to see. I have to get rid of him before he gets rid of me. I'll get rid of him, and then send that bastard and his crazy mother to him and that ungrateful snake and then they can all go be a happy family in hell!"

The Crown Prince continued to rage on and drowned himself in alcohol while Prince Yi just sat there deep in thought. This was a very complicated matter and he hoped the Crown prince was just going through mad ramblings in his anger as he occasionally did. As he dumped the Crown prince in a guest room, he hoped that by tomorrow this nonsense will be just that, nonsense fueled by alcohol. 

Unfortunately, that hope was dashed and the Crown prince woke up sober and began talking about arrangements for his rebellion. Over the years, they had been amassing a secret army made up of slaves they bought. And they gained their loyalty by promising to find and liberate their families; giving them their freedom and a means to live well. 

Of course, to make sure their army did not run off, they only received a token or letter from their family members and never met or knew their exact whereabouts. But had the promise that as long as they lived and served the Crown prince well, they will be united with their families once their goal was achieved and that goal was the Crown prince's successful ascension as Emperor. 

Prince Yi still was not comfortable with the idea of a rebellion and tried to talk the Crown prince out of it. But the Crown prince was certain, he will soon be deposed and reminded him that they were on the same boat. It was true. 

"You're not going to turn on me now, are you?" The Crown prince asked narrowing his eyes at Prince Yi.

Prince Yi knit his brows and sighed, "I am just saying we must be careful in our actions."

"Of course, I know that! But we don't have a choice. If we don't fight, we die and if I go down, you go down. Do you think he'll spare you?" The Crown prince scoffed, "Even if he does, do you think that bastard will let you go? You've been trying to kill all this time, even if he has not made any moves on you, he knows. So stop being a coward, this is an important fight for both our survival! I will go meet with my great-uncle to rally the support of the ministers. You go prepare the men." With that order, the Crown Prince left.

Prince Yi sighed as he watched him go. His words were true. If the Crown prince fell, no doubt Jun Kai would ascend the throne and he would want revenge. 

Prince Yi knew he did not have much of a choice in this. If he refused to join the Crown Prince's fight, that would end the good relationship they had forged all these years. Even if the Crown prince did not kill him right now, he most likely would once he ascended. He could go report to his father, but then he doubted his father would even grant him audience and frankly, he did not care about a father who always looked down on him and saw him as nothing. He could run, but the life of a fugitive was not one he could live.