CH 76.1

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Maybe today was also an unforgettable day for Actor Fu.

It’s not the first time he had been confessed to, but it’s the first time he was so nervous during the confession. His heart was jumping up and down. And before he could truly savor the said confession, he was hit with that “but”. 

The whiplash was so strong he felt his ligament ache. Fu Jinxiao looked down at him and asked, “But what?”

“I think… I think it’s not that kind of liking.” 

“?”

A question mark emerged from Fu Jinxiao’s head.

Shen Xingsui leaned on the railing and said softly, “Teacher Fu, you always take good care of me and teach me. You are both a teacher and a friend, and let me realize that liking you… doesn’t mean that we have to be together to be happy. I can become what you taught me. I can get to know you by being taught by you. For me, those are enough.” 

“…” Fu Jinxiao was a little confused, but he was greatly shocked.

“So…” Shen Xingsui looked at another firework rising in the sky, and looked back with a smile. In the light and shadow of the firework’s explosion, his smile was bright, and Fu Jinxiao’s figure was reflected in his clear eyes. “I will let go of those thoughts that I shouldn’t have in the past. In the new year, I am ready to welcome a new life.” 

The fireworks exploded in the air, and the booming sound echoed inside Fu Jinxiao’s chest. 

He was also someone who was used to seeing strong winds and waves, but at this moment, he was absolutely confused looking at Shen Xingsui’s bright face. Of course, including listening to Shen Xingsui’s words, it was also difficult to understand. 

It was beyond outrageous – what kind of confession that ended before it had begun?

Fu Jinxiao wanted to reply, but first, he almost laughed out of anger.

Shen Xingsui didn’t seem to notice anything, and even opened his arm for a hug, “Teacher Fu, Happy New Year, let’s work hard for the new year together?”

Fu Jinxiao has never heard a Happy New Year greeting so ironic in his life.

He didn’t accept this kind of hug at all, but when he looked up, he met Shen Xingsui’s gaze again. He didn’t seem to be as relaxed and calm as he showed. Because of the cold and leftovers from his drunkenness, his misty eyes were also surrounded by red circles at this moment. He stood there, as if this hug with a pleading that was made with all the strength of his whole body.

By coincidence, Fu Jinxiao took a step forward and hugged the youth. 

The youth’s body was a little cold and stiff, but it gradually softened. Fu Jinxiao seemed to hear a faint whimper. He was the one who was unilaterally rejected, and yet, Shen Xingsui was the one who was sadder. 

Shen Xingsui buried his head in his arms, mumbling, “I’m really happy.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks and landed on Fu Jinxiao’s expensive suit, which quickly melted away without leaving anything behind. The slightest trace that would not be noticed by the owner of the clothes.

Shen Xingsui’s voice trembled a little, but he repeated it again, showing a slight smile, “I’m really… happy.”

Fu Jinxiao whispered, “Why?”

“I thought I would never say these words out loud. But I actually have this chance to tell you.” Shen Xingsui paused, took a deep breath to buffer the unstoppable soreness in his heart, “That’s why… it’s great. It’s really great.” 

If anything, Shen Xingsui thought of himself as really, really lucky. He somehow got reborn at the perfect time to deny his initial destiny. He somehow found his blood-related family, who all loved him very much. He somehow attracted the attention of his idol, and could talk to him freely. He somehow… got really close to the said idol, too.

The more he knew Fu Jinxiao, the more he felt that Fu Jinxiao was really nice to him. 

When he first participate in “Starlight”, Fu Jinxiao didn’t dislike him because of his grassroots background or incompetence. The actor gave him the chance to prove his worth, and even took him around. He taught him how to sing, treated him to dinner, helped him terminate his contract with the company, and took care of him when he was on reality shows. 

How could there be such a good person in this world?

Fu Jinxiao was such a good person to him, how could Shen Xingsui use that marriage contract against the actor? Nullifying the contract, so that Fu Jinxiao can be free to choose his marriage partner, was the best thing Shen Xingsui could do in this situation. 

Fu Jinxiao’s voice pulled him back from his thoughts, and the man’s deep and elegant voice seemed to be smiling, “Don’t you need to ask my opinion?”

Shen Xingsui didn’t expect this reply. 

Fu Jinxiao protected him so that Shen Xingsui would not be disturbed by the wind and cold in the icy night, and continued whispering, “If I say my opinion, will it make things more difficult?” 

He was close enough for Shen Xingsui to hear him clearly. Shen Xingsui’s eyes widened, as if for a moment, he seemed to hear the sound of a frantic heartbeat.

Suddenly people and children cheered outside:

“It’s snowing!”

“Wow, it’s snowing a lot.”

“I hope it will bring forth a good new year.”

Shen Xingsui regained his senses, looked outside the balcony, through the light – he saw the fluttering snow falling gently, and murmured: “It’s really snowing…” 

The fluffy white snow fell onto their shoulders. 

Shen Xingsui looked up at him, smiled softly, and said, “I seemed to have auditory hallucinations because it was too cold just now.l. Never mind. Teacher Fu, it’s getting too cold now. Why don’t we go into the house? Otherwise, if the snowing gets heavier, you might catch the col–” 

Fu Jinxiao took the youth’s arm, and said forcefully and domineeringly, “You heard me correctly.”

The actor was a proud man who wasn’t willing to suffer something like this. He took the initiative to tug at his arm, pulling the youth closer. He knew that if he didn’t speak clearly today, his chance might have passed. 

Shen Xingsui looked at him blankly.

Fu Jinxiao looked down at Shen Xingsui. He was a head taller than Shen Xingsui, which was the perfect height to hold the youth’s head into the crook of his neck. “There is no reason for the confession to end as soon as it starts. Listen to me first.” 

Shen Xingsui did not expect such a development. He stammered, “Then what do you mean?”

Fu Jinxiao became silent. As for what he meant… he really hadn’t thought about it.

He just knew he would regret it if he just let it be.

That’s why he stopped Shen Xingsui without thinking.

Unexpectedly, what grandma said was true. For the first time since he was a child, he seemed to be dumped.

Fu Jinxiao took a deep breath, locked his gaze with Shen Xingsui and said, “This is a delicate emotional matter. It’s not… up to one party to decide on whether it ends or not. Do you understand?”

Shen Xingsui blinked suspiciously, and thought for a long time without success. Then, he cautiously asked, “Then you… don’t want it to end?” 

‘Not over’

‘Yes, that’s what it means.’    

Fu Jinxiao thought for a while, and finally replied, “At least it can’t be over in such a haste.”

Shen Xingsui tilted his head, “What is going to happen? Do you… like me too?”

This question seemed to stump Fu Jinxiao.

If he was younger, he could say “I like you” without hesitation. Because… he does have a special feeling for the younger man. 

But he wasn’t young anymore. He was used to many turbulence in his life – it has tempered him, especially his arrogance and impulsiveness. Everything he said was something he could hold accountable. 

The matter of “liking” and “loving”, was something he took very seriously. 

To identify Shen Xingsui as his “intended” meant he was willing to commit with him for his lifetime. 

But–

If he couldn’t give Shen Xingsui his answer, why did he stop him and hurt him when Shen Xingsui had decided to welcome a new year without this “burden”?

It was just a moment of silence, but Shen Xingsui misunderstood him.

Shen Xingsui smiled lightly and said, “Teacher Fu, you don’t need to have any psychological burden.” 

“I like you, and I want to tell you this while I can. I don’t need an answer, I don’t want to burden you.” Shen Xingsui looked at him indifferently and said, “I just feel that some things must be said out loud before I regret it. I actually have done many wrong things, but this confession isn’t one of them. I’m very glad I can give an explanation of my own honest feelings.”

Fu Jinxiao said in his heart, ‘You have confessed, and it really shakes my heart. How do I… answer it now?’ 

On the contrary, Shen Xingsui kept talking more and more vigorously. Snowflakes fell on his nose. He shook his head and said softly, “Anyway, it’s New Year’s Eve today, let the past pass. What should we do in the future? For me, I will always treat you as my most respected teacher, and I hope you don’t take this matter to heart. If you really feel uncomfortable and panic, you can treat me as a drunken slip of the tongue.” 

“…”

‘What big of a big heart do I have to do that?’ Fu Jinxiao thought.

Both of them wanted to continue this talk, but there was a voice of greeting from the balcony below. It was Shen Xingchen. He waved his hands and said, “Suisui, hurry go downstairs, we are going home!” 

Shen Xingsui responded immediately. He trotted a few steps down from the balcony, then ran back inside. 

Fu Jinxiao’s eyes lit up.

Unexpectedly, Shen Xingsui came back to him not long after. He was holding the handmade safety bracelet in his arm. 

When talking, because of the cold weather, he would blow out mist from his mouth. But the safety bracelet was warm. The red rope of the bracelet was thin, and the jade centerpiece looked vigorous in contrast. It was as cute as the person holding them. 

Shen Xingsui said with a smile, “This is a gift for you. I forgot to bring it last time.” He continued as he waved his arm, “Then I’m leaving!”

The little rabbit’s speed was fast, as if he was chased by a wolf. 

Fu Jinxiao was left in the balcony, only snow as his companion.