At that time, I didn't know how important this Party member was to me. It was only later on that I understood the meaning of Liu Yue's words. It turns out that joining the Party is a prerequisite for promotion, especially in the unit of the Party newspaper. If you don't join the Party and want to be promoted, don't even think about it.

I remember hearing that the easiest way to join the Party was to become a soldier, then go to university, then enter a unit and want to join the Party. It was extremely difficult and many people were fighting over a single Party vote.

I have always been grateful for the position I earned at the university as a military minister.

"Mm …" "Got it." "No," I replied.

"If you have nothing else to do, you can also go to his office and report to him on your thoughts. Listen to his teachings, he's just an experienced official." Liu Yue said.

"Mm, got it." I still said the same thing, and my heart was empty.

"Remember one thing. At any time, you must let him think that you are my cousin. We are cousins, so don't expose him." Liu Yue suddenly said seriously.

I nodded, then asked Liu Yue: "He treats you very well, he has that intention towards you, right?"

"Yes, he meant that. He has meant that to me for a long time." Liu Yue answered happily: "His wife has been sick for two years, and he has not been looking for her. He was waiting for me."

"And you promised him?" I asked stupidly.

"Silly child, you couldn't tell tonight? "Why ask when you already know the answer."

"Why don't you agree?"

"I respect him and regard him as a big brother. However, I don't have that sort of feeling toward him. Even though he has always been very good to me, you, are different …"

"What does that feel like?" I asked stupidly.

"Idiot, think about it," Liu Yue patted my head. "If you say it out, it will be meaningless. "However, it is hard to say …"

"Then why didn't you tell him explicitly to turn him down and make him give up waiting and hope?" I asked.

Liu Yue looked at me in silence for a while, then said: "You're still young, you don't know, you don't understand either. Love and marriage aren't things that can be solved simply by being able to do it or not, love or not love.

I vaguely understood and nodded. "Sister Yue'er, I really like you. I don't like you being nice to others …"

I learnt to be a good girl and didn't say love anymore because Liu Yue said love is too heavy, so I said this word carefully.

"Mm …" "I understand, I understand your thoughts …" Liu Yue patted my shoulder. "Get up, I have something to give you."

I sat up, and Liu Yue stuffed the half-smoked cigarette into my mouth, then she got off the bed and went into the living room. After a while, she came in and took out an exquisite square Tray, opened it up, and took out a BB machine for me.

I was shocked. In those days, Big Brother was a legend. BB machines were just beginning to become popular, and most of them were digital. Usually, only the leaders and those who were rich would have a Han Dynasty in their pocket, and it was also quite expensive, close to 3000 chapters. For me, who just joined a job, working 300 chapters a month, this is something I can't even dream of, even though I envy the creak of people's waists.

"Where did you get it?" This is very expensive, I don't want it, you can use it. " "No," I said.

smiled as she said to me, "This is for you to use, I'll think of a way to get one later. Don't put it on your waist, when you go out, it's' squeak ', you look so arrogant, hehe … …" After thinking about it for a while, Liu Yue said to me happily, "I'll give this to you for you to use, I'll think of a way to get another one in the future."

I'm very happy and I like this stuff very much. Letting them see it at a class reunion shows that I'm doing pretty well, at least to satisfy my vanity.

Seeing that I was happily playing with this, Liu Yue was very happy. She patted my shoulder and said, "Darling, in the future when you become a reporter, I will send you a lot of things. There are all kinds of things, all kinds of gifts and souvenirs, hehe … "Being a journalist doesn't have any other benefits, it's just that there are many gifts and wineries …"

I'm done being happy, so I put away the BB Machine. Suddenly, a wave of worry came over me, and I looked at Liu Yue: "Yue'er, you're gone, I'll miss you a lot, I really want to … "I really want to …"

Liu Yue affectionately whispered, "Darling, sister's darling, sister is also reluctant to part with you …"

I turned over and flattened Liu Yue …

Liu Yue held onto my hair tightly, her body trembling. "Kiss darling, this sister likes you so much, you are the only one in this sister's heart …"

The limpid weather exploded once again.

Tonight, Liu Yue and I didn't sleep. Aside from chatting, we did that thing and then we continued to chat. I felt that there were endless words of love between us, endless love affairs …

In the middle of it all, I cried. I cried so hard that I couldn't bear for Liu Yue to leave me.

Liu Yue also cried, but she quickly smiled again. She patted my face and said: "Men don't cry, men don't cry, big sister will often meet with you …"

So I dried my eyes and hugged Liu Yue tightly, afraid that she would disappear soon.

Liu Yue let me hug you as she whispered into my ear, "Darling, you're not allowed to find other women …"

"Mm …" I nodded in agreement, feeling very, very nervous.

"Be careful not to get too close to Mei Ling, distance yourself from her, distance yourself from her, and even more so, do not offend her …"

"Mm …" Although I don't know the reason, but as long as it's someone that Liu Yue doesn't like, then it would definitely not be a good person, and I will definitely keep my distance.

"Write when you miss me. I'll send the address to your BB machine when I get there."

"Mm …" My heart was damp.

"Come visit me in the capital when it's convenient. I'll take you out to play and buy clothes for you …" Liu Yue continued to speak, her voice becoming softer and softer.

Suddenly, I felt something warm flowing down my neck, touching Liu Yue's face, Liu Yue cried.

My tears came again without a sound.

After knowing Liu Yue for a month, I cried three times. In the past ten years, I didn't shed a single tear. When I was together with Qing Er, I had always been a mountain. A strong backer, was always me comforting Qing Er. However, being with Liu Yue, I always felt my childishness and powerlessness. The tide of emotions was always so turbulent, and it was always so easy to stir the sad and painful nerves in my heart.

The next morning, after I woke up, Liu Yue gave me her room key.

Liu Yue has to go to the office first to bid farewell to her colleagues. She told me to go a little later today and not to send her off.

I knew she was afraid I'd lose control in those situations, and I didn't really know if I could control myself.

Then, Liu Yue and I parted ways, biting her lips tightly. She tried to smile: "Darling, let's go! I wish you a pleasant journey! "

"Yue, have a pleasant journey." I looked at Liu Yue in a daze.

Then, Liu Yue turned around and went downstairs with a simple luggage.

Liu Yue left with my endless thoughts, bringing back my lonely heart.

I ran to the balcony and watched Liu Yue's figure disappear around the corner of the corridor. My heart was filled with melancholy. From the day I met Liu Yue until now, I had never known about her past. If she didn't say it, I wouldn't have asked either.

I don't know what will happen.

After Liu Yue left,, the former Deputy Director of the Department of Public Information, took over from Liu Yue to conduct the work.

Because Liu Yue was being transferred, her personnel file was still in the newspaper and even belonged to the staff of the newspaper. Her salary was still paid by the newspaper, which meant that it was possible that she would come back, thus the Party committee of newspaper did not appoint a new director, but rather a vice chairman. Liu Yue's office also did not move, but it was still there. Liu Fei still stayed in the big office with us.

This somewhat comforted me, maybe Liu Yue really could return to the newspaper.

I secretly hoped that Liu Yue's dream would be shattered and that she wouldn't be able to stay in the capital.

I couldn't help but feel ashamed of my selfishness. Compared to Corydalis, I felt that my thoughts were very despicable. If Liu Yue wants to improve and go to the provincial capital, he can similarly extend her hand and agree to help Liu Yue find a way to resolve this relationship. This is such a broad and selfless attitude and magnanimity, but I only thought of myself.

I feel very small, that my feelings for Liu Yue aren't sincere enough, nor are they deep enough, and aren't selfless enough. I feel like I don't know what true love is, and I still can't comprehend the true essence of love.

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lonely...

In my heart, a deep sense of guilt and intense longing was born for Liu Yue.

The minute after Liu Yue left, I started to miss him. During the day, other than interviewing and writing, my mind was filled with Liu Yue. At night, I would stay in Liu Yue's house for a few hours, quietly sitting in the living room and listening to Deng Lijun's >. This was the first time we danced together. I sat on the sofa and listened quietly, smoking the 3 to 5 cigarettes that Liu Yue left behind, thinking back to what we saw in the smoke.

I didn't dare to go to the bedroom, didn't dare to sleep in that bed, that would bring me too much of a nostalgia, I couldn't stand it, I didn't dare to enjoy it.

I just sat quietly in the living room, quietly listening to the music, quietly smoking a cigarette, quietly reminiscing about the past...

Memories, Memories... Jump out of my heart and hug you...

Sex or love first? First love or first desire? Is love and affluence divisible? As I lay alone in my bed, I began to think about these questions. Of course, based on my experience of that time and my experience of life, the final result of my thinking could only be one word: childish.

After Liu Yue left, I kept the BB machine in my pocket at all times. In the unit, I didn't want others to know that I had a BB machine, so in order to not attract attention, I turned the BB machine into a vibrator and waited for Liu Yue to call me.

The morning after Liu Yue left, I was outside interviewing him when my pants pocket near my thigh suddenly felt numb. The BB machine was vibrating crazily.

I excitedly rushed to the place where no one was, impatiently took out my BB machine and read the information. It was indeed Liu Yue calling me, my Yue'er had finally received her message.

"Darling, I just reported in today, everything is going well, do not think about it. My address is: Yin City Liberation Road 35 chapter 102 mailbox, convenient to write to me. "I miss your Yue Er."

I jumped up in joy and excitement. I placed the BB machine on my lips and kissed it twice, as if I was kissing Liu Yue's lips.