C5

The weekends before I graduated from university, I would often gather with a few of my best friends in one of the dormitories and fight all night long. Qing Er knew about it all and would even accompany me there sometimes. Looking at my tired expression, Qing Er naturally thought that I had gone out to play.

I did not answer, but suddenly felt very apologetic in my heart, very guilty, and felt very apologetic towards Qing Er. I couldn't help but hold Qing Er's hand and ask her: "Qing Er, are you hungry?"

"Mm …" Qing Er nodded his head: "I haven't eaten anything all day, so I drank a bottle of water."

I felt a sudden pang of grief, and I felt like a real bad guy, and I wondered how I had suddenly become a bad guy, because I had always felt like a good person. How could a good person turn into a bad person so quickly?

I patted Qing Er's shoulder. "I'll take you out to eat, what do you want to eat?"

Qing Er tilted his head as he thought about it, and I took the opportunity to look in the mirror. He couldn't help but be shocked, there was actually a small patch of unwashed lipstick on the side of his neck. My heart tensed up, and I glanced at Qing Er. Seeing that she wasn't paying attention, I quickly wiped her face with a wet towel, washed my face, and combed my hair.

"feng-ge, I want to go eat porridge." Qing Er thought for a long time before finally coming up with an answer.

"Alright, balance the work of the porridge shop!"

Then, Qing Er took my arm as usual and we headed straight for the Balance porridge shop.

On the way, my heart was a mess, the scales in my heart constantly unbalanced. One moment it was Qing Er's innocence and warmth, the next it was Sister Yue'er's charm and gentleness, my heart was filled with contradictions and struggles. Liu Yue forbid me to say that I love her, and only say that I like her. Actually, I had calmed down, and felt in my heart that saying love this quickly is a little absurd, after all, love and liking are not of the same nature. In front of me, Liu Yue had always been maintaining calmness and calmness, always controlling our progress and direction. I can't bear to part with Qing Er, but I definitely can't leave Liu Yue!

When I reached the Balance porridge shop, my heart was still in turmoil.

Beside the Balance porridge shop was a big hotel? Baoyu Building, luxurious decorations, bright lights, cars flowing in a steady stream.

When Qing Er and I had just reached the entrance of the porridge shop, I casually turned my head to glance at the entrance of Bao Yi Restaurant. A man with a crew cut, about forty years of age, and a paunchy belly climbed out of the car. Then a beautiful woman with her hair in a bun and a white dress emerged from the other door.

I couldn't help but be stunned, the woman was clearly Liu Yue!

That man must be the one who called in the afternoon!

I stood at the entrance of the Balanced porridge shop, my heart suddenly unbalanced!

After last night's conversation, Liu Yue understood me very well. From the past to the present, from experience to experience, from personality to ambition … However, I know almost nothing about her. I only know that she lives alone and that she is my beautiful leader. I don't know if she has a husband, or a child, or a marriage, or what she used to be, or what she is, or what she plans to do, or what she dreams she will be. I only know that she is very good at doing business, very knowledgeable, very elegant, and, at the same time, that her kung fu in bed is excellent, almost superb, even though I don't know what other women are like, and I can't compare them, but in my mind I feel that she is the best.

I foolishly watched Liu Yue and the man walk into Bao Yi Restaurant affectionately. The man's hand casually brushed against her buttocks.

My heart suddenly burned, my heart almost stopped, my brain started to bleed, my eyes became angry … An indescribable pain and jealousy welled up in me, and I could hardly help myself.

I fiercely stared at the big bellied man's back, my heart was filled with hatred, I wanted to use my blade to chop that dog off, I felt that this man must have some sort of unclear relationship with Liu Yue …

"What is it? What are you daydreaming for? "I'm starving, hurry and come in …" Qing Er looked at my doorway in a daze, then turned his head and called out to me while standing in the porridge shop hall.

I came back to my senses and hurried in.

I ate until dinner was tasteless, my heart was always thinking about Liu Yue and that big belly of mine. I absent-mindedly listened to Qing Er's chattering, and absent-mindedly echoed.

After we finished our meal, Qing Er and I walked out of the porridge shop. I turned around and looked at the golden and dazzling Bao Yi Restaurant, and thought to myself that Liu Yue and the big-bellied man must be eating, drinking, and having fun in a certain room, doing some unspeakable things … The big belly man's dirty hands must be moving around some part of Liu Yue's body … Even the big belly man's mouth was sucking on Liu Yue's tender lips …

My heart was filled with pain. Suddenly, I turned around and ran towards Bao Yi Restaurant, while saying to Qing Er, "I'm going to the bathroom."

I ran from the first floor to the fourth. Almost all the rooms were closed, I couldn't see inside, and I couldn't open the doors one by one. I didn't dare to, because I felt that the people who came here to eat were all rich or powerful people, and I didn't have the guts to do so.

Finally, I went downstairs dejectedly and said to Qing Er who was waiting for me: "Let's go."

My mood is very low, my heart is very depressed, my heart is very hurt, my soul is very lost...

I soullessly followed Qing Er back to my dorm. It was late in the night, so Qing Er didn't go back to stay with me.

Qing Er had stayed here with me a few times before, and it was always her that slept on the bed.

I always felt that I was extremely pure and spent the night with my girlfriend. Although I had the urge to do that, I was always able to maintain self-control under Qing Er's persuasion and quietly fell asleep on the floor.

However, after experiencing the incident with Liu Yue, I suddenly felt that perhaps my sexual urges towards Qing Er had never been that strong, and I had always felt that it was unnecessary, which was why I was able to restrain myself under Qing Er's persuasion. Otherwise, if it was Liu Yue who was in her place, I would have unstoppably charged into battle.

Deep into the night, I lied on the bed and tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. I kept thinking about Liu Yue and my big stomach, my heart filled with jealousy, and I felt like I was about to go crazy …

Perhaps Qing Er had noticed my abnormality today, or perhaps she had noticed my cold treatment towards her with sensitivity, but at the same time, she did not stop turning over and did not fall asleep.

Qing Er and I embraced each other, just like we usually do.

My heart was bitter and my movements passive.

The afterglow of the moonlight shone into the house. My eyes were wide open, listless, and dejected as I looked out the window at the deep night sky. My thoughts had already drifted to where Liu Yue was.

At that moment, what was Liu Yue doing? Had she fallen asleep? Or think of me as I think of her? Or …

I didn't want to think about it any longer. My gaze turned towards Qing Er's face and I couldn't help but be startled. Qing Er didn't close his eyes like before and was currently opening them to look at me.

"feng-ge, you have something on your mind, don't you?" Qing Er looked at me seriously, her long eyelashes flashing under the moonlight.

"I …" My heart frowns a bit: "Don't talk nonsense, I don't have anything on my mind. Besides work, I have a job..."

"I'm just worried about you. You're too competitive, so you have to do your work bit by bit. Don't force yourself too much, don't put too much pressure on yourself …" Qing Er gently caressed my face and said gently while lying on his side.

Qing Er attributed the reason for my unhappiness to the work worries and pressure. She didn't realize that my feelings for her were secretly going through a qualitative change, and never would she have thought that I would doubt and waver over the feelings we had for so many years.

I felt guilty and touched. What a good Qing Er, what a good woman.

"Don't worry about me, I won't force myself too much. I won't bear the pressure …" I whispered...

Qing Er couldn't help but close his eyes as he enjoyed my warmth.

I looked at Qing Er's expression and my heart ached. I really couldn't bear to hurt Qing Er, I can't hurt Qing Er, she is innocent, she is kind …

I closed my eyes sadly.

Suddenly, Liu Yue's figure unstoppable appeared in my mind. She gave me her wild and impudent gaze, her loving and caring eyes, and her enchanting and charming expression … I dreamily realized that the one hugging and kissing in my arms right now was Liu Yue, my Sister Yue'er …

I had a sudden feeling...

held onto my hand and gently whispered into my ear. "feng-ge … No, I want to wait until that day, that day... I give myself to you in full... "Okay?"

In that instant, I woke up. I opened my eyes and saw that Qing Er's eyes were still closed. Her face rippled with happiness and innocence.

I actually mistook Qing Er for Liu Yue just now and almost did that. I am such a f * cking bastard, if Qing Er knew what I am thinking right now, she would definitely be very sad.

I suddenly lost interest and let go of Qing Er. I sat on the bed and fished out a cigarette and lit it up in the darkness. After taking two deep breaths, a cloud of smoke slowly rose into the night sky.

Qing Er had left the chastity for me and saved the most precious thing a woman had for me. As for me, I gave the first time to Liu Yue, the mature young wife who made me crazy.

Looking out the window at the bright moonlight, I was confused, my heart suddenly felt lonely and sad.

Yue'er also sat up, hugging me from behind. "feng-ge, are you angry?"

I didn't say anything. I was still thinking about Liu Yue and sat there motionlessly.

Seeing that I did not say anything, Qing Er was silent for a moment. Then, he heard some sound of clothes being taken off from behind him, "feng-ge …"

I turned my head.

Qing Er looked at me shyly, her expression a little nervous.

I know that the thing that Qing Er hates the most is that I'm unhappy. As long as I'm happy, she can do anything for me.

I know what Qing Er means now, she must think that I am unhappy and depressed because I want to make her failed, she wants me to advance even further to meet some of my needs.

But, my body already belonged to another woman. That night, I was already emptied out, and my vitality had not recovered yet, yet Qing Er's beautiful body actually did not move me. That time, I would think, other than Liu Yue's body, there might not be any other woman that would give me any true sexual urges.