Chapter 83 - A smooth pillow

His face was peaceful, long lashes resting on his cheeks. I curled a lock of Grant's hair around my index and sighed. I couldn't take my eyes off him. His pointy ears poked from his wavy hair. One corner of my lips curled up.

"I can't imagine the weight on his shoulders," I whispered. Demos shifted and nuzzled my hair, I relaxed against him.

"I'll protect both of you," he said in a solemn tone. I chuckled.

"Isn't it weird to talk about yourself in the third person? I mean, since both of you are supposed to be one. You've hammered that thought into my head. I don't think I've settled down with it if you ask me. It's still too strange," I clumsily turned to face him and almost shoved my elbow into his face. He grinned and caught it just in time. I tried my best to cover my exposed belly from the rebellious T-shirt that wouldn't cooperate. He watched with amus.e.m.e.nt.

"Grant is part of me. We were only codes and didn't have a body. So it was natural to be together all the time. However, things changed the first day I woke up in this body. I instantly felt the separation... the skin barrier. Grant was laying on a table next to me. When I reached to touch him," his voice trailed off. His beautiful cooper eyes were almost brown in the gloom. They had so much softness in them, it made my heart ached. "That's why I understand humans, it must be really lonely," he peeked at me. He reached over and touched Grant lightly on the cheek. "I feel lonely, I don't like when I can't hear him," he retrieved his hand and let it rest on my waist. That throbbing inside my chest became unbearable. I snuggled against him burying my face in his neck. He leaned and kissed my hair.

"Men don't express their feelings," I said with a muffled voice. He rubbed my back and sighed.

"I'm not human."

"I can see that," I pulled back and glared at him. He arched his eyebrows.

"You mean, I don't look like one?" I took more than a minute before answering. I wasn't sure if he was having doubts about his appearance or fooling around.

"Mm, you're way off charts. I still have trouble believing both of you are mine. It's insane," I laughed and covered my red face. He pulled my hand away and grinned at me. I frowned and went on. "If a guy was this handsome, he would have women throwing themselves at him all the time. It will make his arrogant and he won't have any respect for women. A nasty piece of shit," Demos nodded while tapping his chin.

"Right, that's just your opinion and not base on facts," he simply added with a straight face. I shifted nervously. He was supposed to agree with me not shot me down. He ran his fingers along my arm making me shiver. I shot him a dark look. Demos rose on one elbow and tilted his head.

"You think handsome guys won't pay attention to you because of your inferiority complex," his words knocked the air out of my lungs. I coughed to hide my irritation.

"Mm, well, I'm plain and a little chubby," I paused feeling a stab at each word. "If someone who is used to get pretty girls... I don't think he will even notice me in a crowd," I lowered my head and buried my face in his chest. "Anyway, why are we even talking about this?" I murmured. He stroked my hair.

"Who told you you were plain or chubby?"

"My mirror," I added flatly.

"Then it must be broken. Cause that's not what I see," I tightened one arm around his waist.

"You're programmed to say so," he tried to make me look at him but I stubbornly shook my head.

"Liliane, look at me," he ordered using his alpha tone. Like that would work on me. Still, I was curious and peeked. He was frowning. All sweetness stripped away.

"Your perception of your own body is flawed. Even the pretty girls or handsome guys have the same complex, that they are not good enough or no slim enough. It's not their bodies but their minds. If you're pretty in your mind it will show on the outside. You just need to shift your way of thinking," do I need to hear that from an artificial? I doubted it. What did he know what it meant to be human? To struggle with the expectation. He was sculpted to be a walking god. He will never relate to any of my issues.

"Liliane," he lifted my chin with one finger. "I want you to see your full potential and all those doubts and fears are holding you down," he kissed my forehead.

"Thanks for your advice," I added dryly.

"Liliane, I only want to help," he sighed. "Grant is the one who knows how to sway people into agreement. I fear I can't convey it properly," I focused my gaze on a stain on his shoulder with my fingers gripping the front of this shirt. An awkward silence settled between us.

"Liliane," I pressed a finger over his lips to shut him up. I didn't want another lesson about how f.u.c.k.i.e.d up I was. It was already upsetting. I didn't want more.

-I was going to ask if I could kiss you

"You know you don't have to ask all the time," I narrowed my eyes at him. "Aren't you supposed to be a big-bad-wolf....alpha? I can't believe I actually selected everything available on that freaking list. I really did lose my mind when I filled out that form," I said the last part to myself.

"I need your consent or else it's considered forced. You did mention that you hated being forced in your form," I sighed in exasperation.

"There are other ways... come here," I pulled on his shirt, it already had wrinkles from me gripping it. I made him leaned forward so that I didn't have to break my neck to reach for him. I lifted my chin up and slowly inched towards his lips. "Don't move," I ordered when he came closer. "To ask for consent, slowly moved towards her but stop and allow her to respond," we were almost touching. I looked up and found his eyes bore into mine. His lips parted. "And when you feel the tension building up, you pull away just a little. Give her space to come to you," my voice a mere whisper as Demos angled his face and our lips barely touched. I closed my eyes to savor the shiver of pleasure. I felt his smile against my lips. I blinked and stared at him.

"I like it, teach me more," he watched with interest. I laughed and threw my head back. I can't believe I was teaching him how to kiss. I turned back trying to recompose myself.

"Ok, if you want to french kiss someone who is not killing or shy. You kiss the corner of her lips it will automatically make her gasp and open up," I blushed. He rose an eyebrow at me. Ok, this one I read it from a book or something. I've never actually tested it.

"Do you want to test it?" I laughed so hard I dumped into Grant which make me froze instantly. My smile faded. Demos peeked at me with a puzzled look.

"I don't think we should. Let's stop here with the lessons. Anyway, You need to save your energy and I should sleep. It's awfully late," I gave a quick gaze at the clock on my bracelet. It said 1:11 AM.

"Ok," he said a little disappointed. "Goodnight then," he kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Demos," I yawned. "Sweet dreams," I added.