Chapter 3 - The darkness within

In the late twenty-first century, they discovered a new pathology nicknamed the void. The screen era, as most called it, was when technology severed the fragile link that held families together. The symptoms showed distinct signs of lack of empathy, mild to extreme depression, lethargy, and difficulties to communicate with others. It greatly affected the birth rate of newborns. Even with efforts from governments and worldwide programs to remedy the situation, the results were fruitless.

I used to suffer from the void in my teens. The medication didn't help much. The happiness program encouraged us to make friends and go out to speak to others. Only through interaction did the effects of the void decreased. Lyla was my best friend, I imagine she still is. I'm using the 'was' cause it's been almost a year since her last VMS*. Why did she have to leave in the first place? Right, that boyfriend.

I can still see her standing on the platform with wet eyes. Her new boyfriend, Timi, gave me a tight smile. I nodded at both of them feeling my heart squeezed inside my chest.

"So this is it," sighed Lyla trying to keep her tears at bay. Her chin trembled, and she pulled me into her arms. All of this happened too quickly. In three months, she met that awesome guy, according to her, and they had moved in together. It was love, at first sight, she kept telling me. I didn't have time to assimilate the change. What about our girl's night and her continuous nagging about my black-rimmed glasses retro appearance? What about my darkness trying to drown me?

"I'll miss you," she whispered into my hair. "You'll call you every day, you'll get bored with me," I chuckled but my throat was tight. Why did she have to move so far away? Why was she leaving me behind?

"Pray that I can get a boyfriend soon, so I won't get lonely," I smiled as she let go of me. She laughed and her tears spilled on her cheeks. Her laughter was contagious, all three of us laughed to release the tension. Lyla took out a tissue to fix her smudged mascara.

"Lili darling, you're too picky. If you want a boyfriend you must invent him," she closed the gap between Timi and her. Reached out her hand, which he immediately took in his. They smiled at each other when the huge led panel above the boarding gate displayed the number of their shuttle. They turned to look at it, then turned back to me.

"If you're interested, my friend tried that new company. I don't remember the name but I'll send you the info when I find it. It's an artificial mate agency—" said Timi, but Lyla slapped his arm while glaring at him.

"What? Damien said that they make an awesome product," he insisted with a straight face. I thought he was joking, however, Timi was an odd type. He smiled too much. Maybe I was the odd one—the paranoid one

"Shut up, Lili-darling doesn't need those machines to make her happy. She'll find a meat lover who's loving, gentle, caring, likes fantasy book, cooks, does her accounting, and is good in bed," I couldn't help laughing at her long list. Lyla really knew me, I'll miss her so much when she's gone.

"Believe me when I tell you she's terrible at cooking. She'll poison the poor guy if she tries," she rolled her eyes at me and I laughed harder. I'll miss her jokes.

"Why Titan of all places? Jupiter's moon, really?" I asked, still not realizing it was probably the last time, I was seeing both of them in the flesh.

"The money is good and I need my honeymoon get-away," she leaned closer placed a kiss on Timi's cheek who blushed and looked away. Ok, they are in love—I get that. I really envy them. They waved one last time before lining up in front of the gate.

As I watched them holding hands, I felt a sting of jealousy. I've never thought of leaving everything behind, I liked my routine. Standing in front of the airport window, I watched her shuttle rocketed into the night sky I knew I had to change. Days later, Timi sent me the link to a fancy website. It was too good to be true. The kind of impossible dream. Sognare.

I blinked chasing the memory trying to drag me into the dark corners of my mind. Into the void. I reached the door to the room, I gave a rapid peek over my shoulder at the two handsome guys standing behind me. It was too good to be true. I bit my lower lip and opened the door giving them access to my private kingdom, where no male has set foot.

They needed something to cover all the sparkly abs and nothing in my closet could fit Demos. His shoulders were too large, and he was too tall. I kept averting my eyes. Maybe I could find a pair of jeans for Grant as he was almost the same size as me. I walked straight to the closet, pulled the doors wide opened and instantly felt self-conscious that two men would stare at my underwear. Not that I was a lacy person, but having them wear my clothes was making my anxiety level rise to the roof.

"What's the matter?" asked Grant on my left. I peeked over my shoulder with a nervous smile.

"I'm sorry I've prepared nothing for you to wear. It makes me so embarrassed. I'll lend you something, then order more online if you don't mind," I caught Demos staring at me from the corner of the eye, I buried my head in my closet to hide my flushed cheeks.

"Your evaluation said that you don't enjoy going out but you wish you were more spontaneous," commented Grant. Where did that come from? "Would you like to go out shopping instead of ordering online?" even without looking at him I knew he was smiling. He has a cheerful personality, I could get used to it. Shopping? It's been ages since I've set foot in a real store. Lyla tried to drag me on her shopping sprites, but I always find an escape route. I frowned at skinny jeans with cut out knees; will my budget be enough to afford outfits for two men?

"Can you find a really cheap store near, so we can be back before dinner?" I said while pulling on a white T-shirt with a unicorn jumping printed in pink glitter. It was a triple XL size, it should fit Demos just fine. I tossed the outfit at him, which he didn't catch. It landed on his face, Grant had to hide a smile, but I couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up my throat

"Doesn't werewolves have great reflex?" I wiped a tear. He yanked the T-shirt away from his face and studied the garment. He narrowed his eyes at the unicorn. I hid a smile behind my hand.

"I don't use them with you," he said not looking at me. He pulled it over his head and it fitted perfectly. He could still look good wearing this monstrosity. It made me jealous.

"Sorry I don't think I can get anything to fit the bottom," I quickly looked away blushing. I tossed the clothing from the closet on the bed. Withdrew a pair of gray sweatpants for Grant and a blue shirt with pink stripes from the pile. Why was everything in my closet, pink? It's not even my favorite color. At the bottom of the closet, I found a pair of black shorts that were not mine. I eyed them with suspicion. XL male?

"Those will be fine," said Demos, he leaned closer to pick it up. I jumped out of the way with a small scream. He gave me a curious peek from the corner of the eye. What was wrong with me?

"Can you let us access your internet connection?" asked Grant. I eagerly ran back to him.

"Yeah, sure I should send a note to the building security too," I added. I swapped over my bracelet and gave them both access to the router. Demos pulled on the pair of shorts like I wasn't there while Grant searched for the nearest thrift shop. I felt a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment, seeing them standing there so casually. This was my private kingdom. In less than twenty-four hours, I've allowed them in my room, let them borrow my clothes and even use my WIFI code. This was a big leap for me.

[Helios: Two logs. GRANT]

My hand stroke the front of my T-shirt. The smell of her delicate scent on the fabric made every part of me melt. I can't believe she actually let us borrow her clothes. This was like that most intimate way to know someone. I feel like hugging myself. I want to hug her. I'm impatient about syncing with her. Demos kept asking me to have patience. Frankly, I'm a little anxious.

VMS* video message system

Meat lover: human boyfriend