Chapter 39: Man vs Funeral

Chapter 39: Man vs Funeral

They held the funeral in the rain.

The Bohens and House Garden parties were gathered for it, with the notable exception of Vasi and Orcine. Basil presided over the ceremony before the smoking crater of his house, hands joined in prayer.

He glanced at his audience, at the mourning faces of his companions. His dear cat Plato, who had known the deceased the longest, held his tiny hat against his chest with his eyes closed. Bugsy, ever the bleeding heart, could hardly suppress the lava tears in his centimagma eyes. Rosemarine stood in quiet dignity, her immense shadow looming over the clearing. Her vegetable minions carried the tombstone. Even Shellgirl had joined her hands in quiet mourning right next to Kuikui.

Basil observed each of them and then gathered his breath. It was never easy to say farewell especially to a dear friend.

Today, Basil said, we are gathered to honor the memory of Rens house one last time.

He waved a hand at House Gardens members, inviting them to do their duty. The vegetables carried the granite tombstone and set it in front of the crater. Basil had carved the words on its surface himself.

Rens House19XX-2022She was too comfy for this sinful world.

Basil had never asked Ren for the date of his houses completion and would forever regret it.

It seems to me like only yesterday that Ren welcomed me into her loving embrace, Basil began the eulogy. He had titled it Requiem for a House, and would preserve its text for generations to come. From the first day on, his house became like a second mother to me; when humans would offer words of condemnation, she offered warmth and air conditioning. She was more than a shelter to me; she was a trusted confidant. She saw me at my best and at my worst, never complaining, always protecting, always loving.

Bugsy collapsed in tears. Basil stopped his speech; he knew how much he had worked on the house before her cruel demise.

Please dont cry, Rosemarine said, trying to comfort the centimagma. Its alright. She is in a better place.

She was too young, the centimagma whispered as Shellgirl patted him on the back. The fence I had finished painting the fence and the TV

Bugsy screamed his despair to the heavens. I will never know how Major Chicken ends now!

One day, we will find a new TV and Major Chicken DVDs, Basil promised. It was a long shot; finding the full season of Major Chicken was already difficult before the apocalypse. Never forget the episode on which we stopped, Bugsy. Never forget.Updated from novelb(i)n.c(o)m

I wont Bugsy wiped away his tears with his tiny arms. I wont, Boss.

Basil nodded sadly. Do any of you have words to honor our departed friend?

Plato raised his hand. I would like to honor the sofa with a minute of silence, he said. This unsung hero who shouldered my weight and warmed me up in the night. It is he and his cushions that I mourn the most.

Basil assented to the request and silence stretched on for a full minute. The rain stopped and the skies threatened to clear up.

Kuikui, make it rain again, Basil ordered as the minute of silence came to an end.

Kui at it! Kuikui started twirling in place. His Rain Dance Perk activated, renewing the downpour.

Basil couldnt let a sunny autumn day stand in the way of his mournful funeral. Does anybody else have words to say? Bugsy?

I I cant, Boss, Bugsy replied sadly. Its its too much for me.

Shellgirl took the next turn. The clam mimic cleared her throat like a professional marketer preparing to make an announcement.

I mourn our HQ too, and all the wares we lost with her, she said. But most of all, I mourn what she represented: peaceful, profitable days long gone. The loss of a business is never an easy one. I know we will bounce back soon and rebuild our company even better than before but we must never forget. Only by learning from our failures can we hope not to repeat them.

Kuikui then said his own piece. His speech was most eloquent by velociraptor standards.

Kui bred. Kui best lover, Kui lasted for hours. The velociraptor sighed in defeat. But Kuis hen wives ran. Kui will never see eggs grow. Kui never eat his children. Now Kui single again. Kui very sad.

Its alright, Kuikui, Bugsy sympathized with him. You will find a new girlfriend, Im sure of it.

Kui hope so. Kuikui glanced at the centimagma with an addict's eyes. Kui has needs.

Only one party member had yet to deliver her eulogy.

Rosemarine? Basil asked. Any words?

My eulogy will be written with blood, Mister, Rosemarine replied cheerfully. Very soon.

Indeed, Basil rasped. For we must not forget that our dear departed house died prematurely. She was never given the chance to grow old and dreary. No, her life was cut short!

He pumped his fist to the skies.

Our house was brutalized! Basil shouted with a warrior angels fury. "Martyrized! Murdered by the Apocalypse Force! Now her slayers still live, delighting at their own crime as we speak! Shall we leave their sin unpunished? Or shall we avenge our departed home with steel and fire?!

VENGEANCE! His pets and allies shouted in response, his zeal inspired in them a rush of righteous fury. VENGEANCE FOR THE HOUSE!

I hear you! Basil declared as the clouds cleared once again. Then follow my lead! For the time of reckoning has come!

The light of dawn shone through the clouds and miraculously illuminated the instrument of their vengeance.

As befitting of a giant snail dragons refuge, Steamslimes shell was a ten meters tall behemoth of metal plates, pipes, and steam engines. The team had spent three days customizing it. They scavenged vehicles from Dax to fully mount it on large tires at the front and tracked wheels at the back. The exhaust port Bugsy blew up during the battle with Steamslime had been repaired, at least as well as a group with no experience with steam machinery could, alongside the holes in its shielding.

Basils group had also added a few windows here and there, to serve as sniper nests, emergency exits, or light sources for a future greenhouse. A rudimentary steel bar door protected the main entrance, and a harness of chains would allow Rosemarine to pull the vehicle like a carriage across all terrains.

In short, it was a mobile fortress large enough to house everyone inside, with the noticeable exception of Rosemarinewho preferred to stay outside anyway. This vehicle, this enormous caravan, would carry Basils team all the way to Bordeaux in due time.

But they had a dungeon to ravage first.

Everyone, board the Steamobile! Basil encouraged his teammates. We shall drive to battle!

Berserker Level 4 & 5 Stat Gains: +4 STR; +2 AGI; +1 VIT; +2 MAG; +1 CHA; +2 LCK. You earned 70 HP and 25 SP.[Runic I]: You can now learn and cast [Runic] Spells up to Tier I. If you gain the ability to cast [Runic] Spells from other classes or Perks, the Tiers stack together.As you already possess [Runic I] from another Class, your Perk has been upgraded to Runic II. You can now learn and cast [Runic] Spells up to Tier II.

If this System is anything like mine, an E rating means that the stat never increases, Vasi explained with a scoff. A B in Magic and an E in Intelligence means that your few spells will hit hard, but youll struggle to learn any. Fitting for a Fighter class.

Who cares? Orcine asked. You dont need fancy powers, big man. Just buff up and rack up four digit damage.

When she put it this way

Since they had a few hours to kill on the way to Seignosses dungeon, Basil joined Vasi in a session of Wyrdes Grimoire. The holomachine program included Runic spells up to Tier VI, so it could teach him a few tricks.

The Unity figured it out, by the way, Vasi said.

Figured out what? Basil asked as the Runic Tier II spell list appeared on the holomachines mirror. Three of them were Corrosion, Metal, and Wood elemental variants of his Fire Rune spell, alongside two more unique options.

The formula that determines your chances of learning a new spell. According to Wyrdes Grimoire, it is the sum of your Magic, Intelligence and Level, multiplied by the average elemental affinity factor and then divided by the spells tier. The result is then rounded down.

Basil kept it in mind as he read the new spells information.

Spell: Venomous Rune.School: Runic.Affinity: Ailment.Tier: II.Cost: 20 SP.Empowers one of your weapons with venomous power, giving it 20% chance of inflicting the [Poison] ailment on a successful damaging hit for 5 minutes; perfect to deal with pesky political opponents. Multiple applications of [Venomous Rune] do not stack and the weapon loses its properties if you no longer wield it.Chance of learning this spell: 75%.Learn spell?

Basil made calculations in his head. With 26 in Magic, 24 in Intelligence, a level of 25, and a strong Ailment affinity multiplying his chances by two the formula checked.

Spell: Savage Rune.School: Runic.Affinity: Support.Tier: II.Cost: 20 SP.Empowers one of your weapons with savage power, increasing its chances of inflicting a critical hit by 20% for five minutes; the Berserkers favorite tool. Multiple applications of [Savage Rune] do not stack and the weapon loses its properties if you no longer wield it.Chance of learning this spell: 37%.Learn spell?

Basils lack of strong affinity for Support cut his chances in half. Oh well. He tried to register both of them in his spellbook.

Two sounds echoed in his mind: a gentle notification and the screeching noise of failure.

Congratulations, you learned [Venomous Rune]!Oh no, you failed to learn [Savage Rune]! You can try to learn it again once 24 Earth hours have passed.You have enough Intelligence to register 1 additional spell in your Spellbook.

From your sorry face, guess things didnt work out well, Orcine said. The orc teen had no interest in magic and instead polished a two-meters tall shield near the steam boiler. If memory served, her late father wore it the one time Basil encountered him; she must have kept it as a memento.

Its alright, Basil replied with a shrug. Instead of waiting for tomorrow, which might never come if the battle didnt end well, he decided to learn the Corrosion elemental variant of his Fire Rune spell. The more elemental attacks available to him, the better. Thankfully his strong Corrosion affinity made it easy to register the spell. Would you like your mace crispy, frosty, or corrosive?

Orcine grinned ear to ear as she lent him her spiked mace. Caustic corrosive.

A true critic, Basil deadpanned as he touched the weapons shaft. Magitek: Corrosion Rune.

His Refinement attempt infused the mace with the Corrosion element. The irons color changed to a sick shade of purple, its pointed barbs fuming with poisonous fumes.

Cool, Orcine whispered as she grabbed her mace, swinging it near the boiler. You can do that with any weapon?

Yes, so long as theyre forged. Basils eyes widened as a brilliant idea crossed his mind. The guns!

Youve got firearms? Grea

Basil had already bolted out of the engine room before Orcine could finish. He rummaged through the belongings his party managed to save from the house fire and finally found what he was looking for.

One of Rosemarines handguns. Now that the plant had grown too big to wield it, the weapon had been left to gather dust.

Magitek: Venomous Rune, Basil said, his magic infusing the firearm. Magitek: Ice Rune.

Two symbols appeared on each side of the barrel: a windy snowflake irradiating cold on the left, and a sinister green skull on the right.

Frosty Poisonous HandgunFamily: Weapon (Firearm)Quality: CPower: +9 SKICrit: + 0 %Accuracy: 80 %Effect 1: [Venomous Rune]: +20% chance of inflicting the [Poison] ailment.Effect 2: [Ice Rune]: Inflicts +20% additional [Frost] damage.Mans best friend, and it will shoot anyone who denies it.

As Basil suspected, he could apply multiple runes to a piece of equipment so long as they differed. An elemental damage enhancement didnt conflict with an ailment one.

Basil cursed his lack of foresight. Why didnt he think of upgrading everyones equipment before? He had focused too much on utilities and crafting flashy alchemical bombs over the practicality of refining his weapons.

Basil wouldnt inflict as much damage with this gun as with his halberd, but the extra Frost damage and Poison ailment should make up for it somewhat. He finally had a good ranged option.

Well, better late than never, Basil said as he stored the gun in his inventory. Time to upgrade our war effort.

Basil spent the next few hours empowering what weapons he could find, crafting bombs out of bugspray cans, and checking the Steamobiles inner shielding one last time. He sensed his body tense up in anticipation as time passed.

When Bugsy called him from the upper floors to inform him that they were approaching the dungeon, it came as a relief.

Boss! Bugsy shouted. I can see it from here!

Basil climbed up a ladder to the upper floor, walked by the centimagma, and peeked through an open glass window.

Located near the empty town of Seignosse, the Etang Noir natural reserve, or black pond, owed its name to the dark silt in its depths. Before the apocalypse, a large corridor of earth separated it from its neighborhood, the lake of lEtang Blanc. The end of the world had joined them into a singular body of blackened water.

The regions dungeon loomed in the middle of the lake, perched on an isle of rock under a red-green aurora borealis. It was an imposing and foreboding gothic castle of black walls and terrible towers; Basil estimated that the central one reached as high as fifty meters. A precarious bridge of granite wove a path through the lake from the fortified gates to the shore.

The remains of monsters, from giant wolves to dinosaurs, were staked on the outer walls as a warning to intruders. Some were still fresh, but most had long turned to bones. Half a dozen Apollyon drones feasted on them, while two more were surveying the area by running circles in the skies.

There it was. The Apocalypse Forces local stronghold, where they plotted to destroy Basils peaceful life beyond repair.

Dungeon: Chteau Muloup.Level: 25.Faction: Apocalypse Force.Field Type: Cursed Castle.[Metal], [Soul], [Darkness] and [Mythic] elements are empowered.[Wood] and [Light] elements are weakened.[Cursed Place]: Players and Monsters within the fields limit will suffer from the [Curse] ailment unless they are immune to it; their chances of receiving critical hits are doubled and they cannot magically recover HP/SP.

Basils teeth gritted as he read the text. No wonder Apollyon was willing to waste so many forces on the Barthes raid; the dungeons defensive effect was formidable. The impossibility to heal within the castles confines complicated matters and Basil would have to adapt his strategy accordingly. On the plus side, that defense would serve the party well once they claimed the dungeon.

However, Basil noticed an oddity. The field effect included all Players and Monsters not immune to the Curse ailment.

Did it affect the defenders as well?

How do we get in, Boss? Bugsy asked, his voice brimming with anticipation.

The quickest way. Basil summoned his halberd to his hand. Through the front door.

By nightfall, the lake would run red with blood.