Chapter 293 - Her Love & Hatred

"Mmmmmmnnnn…"

Homura Ryuu woke up and immediately pushed himself up to look at his wife who had started to awaken next to him.

"Ara?" he called her out softly as he sat up properly, his eyes never leaving her once as she continued to stir into wakefulness.

And then, she slowly opened her eyes…

Her heavy lids fluttered; her long, raven lashes fanned against her porcelain cheeks as she slowly opened her eyes. His breath hitched as he watched her. At first, her gaze was unfocused as she turned her head from side to side, her silver-grey orbs taking in her surroundings but without registering in her mind until they stopped at his face.

And then she froze…

Ryuu watched as her eyes became more alive; the fuzz clearing away as she continued to exchange stares with him. In the beginning, there was a look of joy in those grey pools, but then, he watched them glimmer as they hardened to silver shards, her face losing what little gentleness it had earlier when she first registered who he was – and he knew.

The Koutaishidenka knew that she now fully remembered. Resigning to his fate, he reached for the pitcher of water on the table and poured some in the glass before handing it to her.

"Drink something, my love. You haven't eaten or drank anything since yesterday," he told her softly, acting as if he couldn't feel the tension that was building within her.

Ara stared at the glass of water, and with breath held, he watched as she lifted a hand to accept it. Silence ensued as she drank, her lids lowered, hiding her eyes as she did. She finished the glass in no time, indicating that she was indeed thirsty. She handed him back the glass afterwards and resumed staring at him.

"How are you feeling?"Ryuu asked, but he didn't reach out to touch her as he would normally, knowing how she must really be feeling towards him at this moment. He asked just for the sake of hearing her voice. He missed her a lot.

At this question, she let out a snort. "And to whom are you addressing this question? To Ara? To Alinea? To Alencica?"

As she spoke, moisture filled her eyes, a contrast to the glare she was giving him. Her voice dripped with all the hurt she was feeling inside, but Ryuu was not disheartened by this show of anger.

"I'm addressing this question to my wife," he answered softly without breaking eye contact and watched as she faltered, the hardness in her eyes decreasing as she inhaled deeply before letting out a bitter laugh.

"Oh yeah, your wife," she uttered as she nodded and then bowed her head as if in defeat. "I guess we're all that – your wife," she continued in almost a whisper.

Ryuu's heart clenched seeing her like that. She had been livid just a while ago but now looked as if all the fight in her had been extinguished. Even if he knew he might get rejected, he leaned over and pulled her into his embrace. As expected, her body tensed as soon as he wrapped his arms around her, but it didn't matter. He had vowed to accept everything she'd give him the moment she woke up, but he couldn't help but take this chance to beg her.

"You are my wife. You are my love. You are you," he told her softly as he clung onto her.  His mind reeled with words he wanted to say but they wouldn't come out fast enough. "I'm so sorry. I know how you must hate me now. But I still want to apologize. I love you so much. But I also failed you…"

His words were met with silence, but he felt Ara's rigid body slowly relaxed but started to tremble. Then, he felt the warmth on his shoulder and he knew that she was crying. He tightened his hold on her. Without words, his body begged for her forgiveness, and he almost cried himself when he felt her hand slowly touched him as she returned his embrace.

Her silence tears evolved into soft sobs. Her soft sobs evolved into loud cries until she wailed like a lost child. She cried as she hit his chest with the back of her fist as if she was scolding him amidst her tears, and he held her the entire time she wept until she was spent.

"Here, drink again, my love." Ryuu handed her another glass of water which she accepted and drank without being coaxed further.

When she seemed to finally gather herself, she looked up at him again, and let out a loud sigh. "Kresnik, I am aware I shouldn't blame you," she told him matter-of-factly.

This made Ryuu sit up straight and hold his breath as she still seemed to want to say more. However, the pain in his heart that had been festering in his chest since realizing the truth had somehow lessened. He anxiously waited for her to speak more as hope shone in his eyes.

"However…"

Her voice trailed off as her lips started trembling again followed by her body. The hands resting on her lap balled into fists, as she tried her best to speak. "I love you too… so much it hurts," she said as her face crumpled with tears once more.

She lifted a hand and placed it over her heart. "It hurts because as much as I love you, I also hate you," she added fiercely. "But I know it's wrong. I was the one who told you to kill me. None of us knew what would happen when my soul breaks – even my father."

That was right. They didn't know before that Czernobog could only control her during the Immortal War, thus when her soul was broken, they dealt with the dark part immediately which resulted in Alencica's death.  They tried many times – different methods on how to beat the curse. At one time, Alencica even killed herself so see if the other one would die as well, and she did. Only after millennia, they were able to realize that regardless of who died, both would lose their lives.

Alencica suffered. But she was also aware that those who were left behind – her husband, her father, her uncle suffered more.

"None of you are really to blame," she sobbed. "You have suffered worse than I did – I know that. But…" She bit her lip and Ryuu was worried seeing blood there, but she didn't want him to touch her again just yet. "But I still feel angry," she announced as she searched her husband's face. "Tell me, my love, how do I deal with this anger within me? How do I get rid of it so I can be free to be with you?"

"Give it to me," Ryuu answered her softly, firmly with determination in his blue eyes. "Give me all of it – your anger, your pain. I'll accept anything as long as you still love me."

How she'd give it over didn't matter. He'd do anything to appease her so they could put everything behind them. Then, a memory popped in his mind of long ago of an activity they did whenever Alencica felt wronged by him, and he smiled.

"Do you remember what you always did whenever you get frustrated with me?" he asked her with a nostalgic expression and watched as Ara paused, her eyes wide as she too remembered.

"You do, right?"Ryuu asked as he braced himself when Ara nodded. "Then do it."

At his order, the air around Ara changed as she released her sealed energy. Light flashed in her eyes as her body charged with electricity. "Then, dear husband, please accept my wrath," she announced as a blinding light appeared and Ryuu was flung backwards with a force that made him destroy the entire wall as he continued to be thrown out of the house.

BOOOOOM!