Chapter 199 - Alinea & Ara

"Because while you are Alinea, you are also Suzuki Ara…"

Huh?

Ara thought she already had been confused enough, but she was wrong.

She's Alinea but at the same time Suzuki Ara? What did that even mean?

She was totally thankful that Homura Ryuu looked very patient with her. She was so lost she didn't know how to process information anymore. At times like this, she totally doubted her intellect. She was supposed to be a smart person but her brain was failing her.

Then again, she remembered her brother. Aki said book smart didn't mean smart.

For the first time in her life, Ara felt grateful for being told she was stupid. It wouldn't be as shameful as it would have been if Aki didn't tell her that. Still, she wanted to know the answer.

She needed to know the answer.

"I am Alinea but also Ara?"

Her husband nodded. "That's right. You are Alinea but at the same time Suzuki Ara."

It still didn't make sense. She just stayed quiet, waiting for him to elaborate, which he thankfully did.

"In your other world, have you heard about broken souls?"

Ara's eyes widened again.

A broken soul, incomplete soul – just how many times had she heard people referring to her as such? Her brother and her friends all told her that she was more complete now that she had been before. It was like she was not a person but a programmed robot until she woke up from her comatose.

Was that it? She was really something like that then? Ara now totally had a feeling she was. Well, even Kou was talking about it.

"Yes."

Ryuu nodded.

"You are a broken soul – were a broken soul," Ryuu told her emphasizing the past tense which meant she was no longer one. It was what she had been expecting, sealing her suspicions about herself.

Well, now it made sense.

"If you know, then you should have known that only broken souls could transmigrate. The broken pieces are always attracted to each other. Each piece even if they're all unaware that another one of them exists somewhere would uncannily be reckless or depressed, unsatisfied with life."

Ara remembered her recklessness and love for adventure as Alinea: her wish to be a soldier, her sneaking out of the palace to go on an adventure, her adamant request to Alistair to let her lead the army in the Immortal War – her martyrdom. Even if she found out that she was going to die when Alistair told her to search for the artifact, she just quietly accepted her fate as if it was normal. Actually…  

Actually, it was totally stupid of her now that she thought of it. It was as if she had always been egging death to come.

As for Suzuki Ara…

Well, that girl was always easily depressed and even suicidal. She also never really connected with anyone well.

Was that it? Was that because she was a broken soul?

"If you're thinking about how you had been before you merged with Ara, then you must realize the peculiarity of your actions," Ryuu continued. "Fate always finds a way for a soul to join back together. It's the law of the heavens as Perun, the King of all the Deities is the only one who can break souls apart. It is heavens will."

Heaven's Will…

It was such a heavy, yet, vague explanation about everything that happened until now. But, it was the only one that made sense.

Perun, the deity that all in her world worshipped as the ultimate monarch – it was not impossible that his hands were at work in her circumstance. As a faithful descendant, it was by his grace that she was able to come here and start a new life.

Ara wondered if Perun already knew that she would be killed someday and thus broke her soul apart so she could have another chance at life. Maybe he did.

She also wondered if she was always meant to be born there in Ritz only to die and come here so she could arrive as a demigod and not as an ordinary human. If so, did that mean that she would one day need to utilize the special divine powers she had inherited through his blood someday to save this world?

But, according to the legends, Perun broke souls when they were cursed. So was she a cursed being then? There were so many questions running at the same time through her head.

"Are you thinking about the curse?"

Ryuu spoke the very thought that she was thinking at the moment, and she looked up at him and nodded.

"Yes," she answered in a whisper. "If I'm a broken soul, then it's only natural for me to think so, right?"

Ryuu studied her face for a while before nodding. "But fret not, I will always be here. Whatever the reason why you were broken in two, we will find out and solve it."

"Okay."

Ara was relieved he didn't lie to her – even if it's to appease her worry. She was thankful that he was very straightforward and totally unlike her in this aspect which was a great relief. It was like they compensate for each other's weaknesses – not that she had seen much of his facets yet.

At least when it came to honesty he was better than her.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For always telling me the truth as best as you can," she explained, and then hesitated before she added. "Even if I can't do the same most of the time."

Yes, Ara now could admit that she sucked at telling the truth properly. It was her total weakness.

"So you noticed that woman?" Ryuu chuckled and flicked her on the nose. "Don't worry. I know you try your best."

He leaned over to place a kiss on top of her head again as if telling her she's doing well, and Ara felt warm.

"So, I am not an impostor?"

Ara wanted to hear it again.

"No, you are not."

"I – I can stay married to you?"

Her voice came out small, like a child's. Normally she would cringe upon hearing someone say something in a similar manner, but she was way too afraid things could still change to care.

"Of course you can."Ryuu shifted her in his arms and made her look directly in his eyes. "You are my wife. You have always been mine even before this lifetime. I will never hear you doubt yourself again woman. I will never be with anyone other than you no matter how many times we die and be born again. I will always follow your soul and be with you…"