Chapter 196 - Until That Time

"Homura Emi, do you like me?"

Silence hung between them that seemed to stretch into eternity after that question. It was like a sudden bomb that caught the two of them unawares. Kazehaya Gin was stunned that he asked it, while Emi was shocked for suddenly being questioned.

"I-I-um-I," Emi stammered and Gin took a deep breath before sighing. He was already prepared to be rejected of course. What idiot would ask a question like that so suddenly when things weren't clear between them yet?

The sin he committed against her still hung in the air, and he just had to put her in a corner like this. Yes, she didn't hate him – but he still hadn't apologized enough – at least not enough in his opinion. Everything he did was much too much – much too painful to be fixed with one sorry.

Kazehaya Gin was actually just planning to even the odds between them, to make her feel at ease before asking her out. If – and only if she seemed to soften towards him he would dare ask if she had feelings for him.

But the question came out prematurely…

Just because she touched him, all logic flew out of the window.

Served him right if she said no…

Kazehaya Gin laughed derisively in his mind as he sighed again. Well, he's already used to acting like a fool so what was once more? It was a good thing he was always like a clown. It wouldn't do much damage to be spurned – at least physically.

The hand holding hers in place against his cheeks loosened its hold as he was already prepared to let her go. He gave her one last squeeze as if in final goodbye before he'd let her take it back. But before he could remove his hand, he heard her inhale sharply followed by her breathy answer.

"Yes!"

Kazehaya Gin was startled at her sudden reply. He lifted his face to look at hers and saw how flushed she was. Beads of perspiration formed on her forehead and he just realized the hand he was holding was clammy and her body was trembling a bit. It was as if she had used up all her courage to answer his question and was now scared out of her wits.

After all, the question was one-sided. Gin asked if she liked him, but her liking him didn't mean he liked her in return – most especially since he didn't say anything. His actions didn't matter. He had the reputation of the greatest flirt, so he, being sweet like this, was not reassuring at all.

In fact, it all the more made things scary. For Emi to answer his question like that – when he had the power to laugh at her face and crush her heart, Gin was very touched.

"Good, because I like you too" he commented happily as he took her hand from his cheek and placed a kiss on the back of it. "I like you very much."

He watched as Emi's breath hitched as she stood up straight and stared at him in the eye in wonder. She was a small girl of an inch above five feet so she had to crane her neck up to look at him all the time. On the other hand, he had to bend forward a lot since he was very tall – a few centimeters taller than the Koutaishidenka who was already six feet in height.

They stared at each other, the gloominess in the depths of their eyes vanishing, the murky pools clearing after their confessions, heightening the clarity of their orbs that reflected only their faces. They searched each other's visage for signs – making sure that what they'd seen and what they'd heard from each other was true.

"Homura Emi, I like you."

Gin could already imagine the sloppy smile on his face. He might be handsome but he had a feeling he looked creepy at the moment, but he didn't care. Like something he had imagined only in his dreams, he watched as her beautiful face stretched into a smile – a smile he hadn't seen for almost a decade. 

"Young Ma –" Emi started but stopped herself and they both laughed at her mistake. She almost called him Young Master again but it was alright. Her lips twitched shyly, as she took a deep breath as if to calm her nerves before she tried speaking again.

"Kazehaya Gin, I like you too," she murmured, her soft voice shy but clear, and it was all Gin needed to hear.

He pulled her close into a tight embrace, savoring the feeling of her body against his, marveling at the thought of having the one thing in the world that he wanted was his at last. Still, some things must be clarified.

"Emi, you do know that I'm cursed, right?" he asked, the feeling of insecurity ringing in his voice.

Emi nodded. "I know."

"You do know that I can't have children, right?"

"Yes…" Emi replied sadly, and Gin's hold on her tightened.

He knew that it was a woman's greatest dream to have kids, but he couldn't give her that. The huge possibility of passing on the curse made Gin vow not to leave any offspring behind. He could not bear to curse his children or his children's children with the harpy.

"You do know that… that I have not long to live, right?"

Gin's voice came out small as he said the last part of that question. He still hadn't felt any deterioration in his sanity. But in the very event that he did, he would ask Ryuu to end his life just as his friend promised him.

Emi was silent for a while, but she answered albeit her voice came out in a cracked whisper. "Yes!"

"Knowing that, do you still want to be with me?"

It was the ultimate – the most difficult question of all. They just found each other, and yet they had to talk about separation like this. Death was an imminent thing for him. But, if he could – if she would let him, he would love to spend the remaining of it in her arms basking in their love.

"Of course, yes…" was Emi's quick and desperate reply, and there was nothing else in the world that mattered to Kazehaya Gin anymore at this moment but her.

"Then please be with me until that time…"