Volume 3 - CH 9

“…You see. I have your baby in my belly right now.”

Hazuki wanted to talk to me, so I went to Hanasaki Park and Hazuki told me she was pregnant and asked me to marry her.

No way, right?

We only had sex raw on safe days, and other than that, we had sex with a rubber.

How could she get pregnant?

I told her I couldn’t do it.

Of course, it’s hard for a high school student to get married, have kids, and make a living. Besides, I want to go to college and have more fun.

“Hazuki, you have to get rid of the child you’re carrying. This is not a request. You must do it.”

I told Hazuki to get rid of the baby and quickly left the park and went back to my house.

I pick up a magazine from my room and throw it down in anger.

(Damn it, how did this happen?)

After about 30 minutes, I was able to gradually calm down.

I don’t think Hazuki, who said she wanted to have a baby that badly, would honestly abort right away just because I told her to do so. I couldn’t stay calm today, but I’m okay now. I’m sure I’ll be fine as long as I explain it properly the next time I see her.

I know how hard it is to get married as a student, as I know from my parents.

Ever since I was a small child, they had worked hard and put in a lot of sweat and tears. Although I was grateful to see them, I knew as a child that I didn’t want to be like them.

———

Two days after talking to Hazuki in the park.

I went to the living room and sat down at the dining room table.

They were sitting in front of me, their expressions very stiff, and I could see the seriousness of the conversation that was about to begin. Then, my father opens his heavy mouth.

“I heard that you got Hazuki pregnant and instead of treating her nicely, you unilaterally told her to have an abortion.”

I was astonished that my father knew about it.

When I looked at my mother, she looked as stern as my father, so of course, she knew.

Why?

Why?

It hasn’t even been that long.

“Hazuki-chan gathered up all her courage and came to me for advice.”

Hazuki?

I didn’t think she had that kind of energy…

“And? Did you really say that? Don’t you love Hazuki-chan? Did you let Hazuki-chan get pregnant if you didn’t love her?”

“Yes, I do love Hazuki…”

“Then why don’t you stand by Hazuki-chan? Hazuki-chan is ready to go through hardships. I heard that she said openly that she still wants to marry you and have children with you.”

I couldn’t look up and kept my head down, listening to my father.

“What about you? It’s easy to say in words that you love her, but all you’re doing and saying is hurting her. That’s not love.”

“Because, you know… student marriage is only going to make life harder.”

“Oh, it’s hard. Yes, it’s hard work. But you can be happy. If you live your life after marriage thinking only of Hazuki and the child you will give birth to, you will definitely be happy.”

“Hazuki’s feelings were genuine. I think she was really scared to talk to me about it. Her face was pallid and her hands were shaking the whole time, but she still desperately tried to tell me how she felt about you.”

My mother, who had been silent until now, began to talk about how Hazuki was when she consulted with me. The scene of Hazuki doing her best is described in my mind.

“It takes a lot of courage for a student to tell someone that she is pregnant. I’ve been there myself, so I understand how Hazuki-chan feels. But the difference between Hazuki-chan and me is that I wonder if the man was prepared for it or if he was thinking about the woman. To be frank, what you did to Hazuki-chan was the worst thing you could have done.”

Thirsty from all the talking at once, he downed the contents of the cup in front of him in one gulp and looked me squarely in the face once again.

“I can understand your uneasiness. If you don’t love Hazuki-chan and want to break up with her, then let’s go over there and apologize to her and her whole family. If you don’t, and you love Hazuki-chan… then you and Hazuki-chan should go to her mother’s place to ask for her hand in marriage.”

“I’ll also tell you something else, you can’t face the other side if you hurt the heart and body of the person you fell in love with and you alone don’t get any particular punishment. If you have an abortion and break up with her, you are no longer our child. We will take care of you until you graduate from high school, but after that, you will have to live on your own.”

This is not a threat.

My parents have always scolded me fiercely if I behaved unjustly, even if it was someone else’s child in the house, not just me.

If I told them I was leaving Hazuki, they would seriously kick me out.

“…I love Hazuki too. I’ll take full responsibility and marry Hazuki.”

It’s hard to go to college and not be able to play, but this situation is not going to let me go to college either way… So I decided that the best thing for me to do right now is to get married and get Hazuki completely.

———

I then told Hazuki again that I wanted to get married.

Then, with our family and Hazuki in attendance, I asked Hazuki again about her commitment and then went to Hazuki’s mother to ask her for her hand in marriage.

At first, she was against it, but after Hazuki and I asked her repeatedly, she finally relented. However, the look on her face was not one of happiness that her daughter was getting married.

After the birth and marriage were decided, we discussed the future.

As a result, it was decided that Hazuki would voluntarily drop out of school and I would stay in high school until graduation and join my father’s company through a recommendation.

And I had one more thing I had to do to get married.

That was to break it off with my sex friend.

I contacted the friend I had met before the summer break and told her I was breaking up with her. This woman had seen me with Hazuki before and impulsively wanted to have sex with me, so we got involved. Neither Hazuki nor Sayuki knew that we were having relations with each other, and I thought it would be fine as long as they didn’t find out.

But still, when I went to their school festival, I was worried that they would find out. Well, it was fun and thrilling.

I told her in RINE that I was going to marry Hazuki and that our relationship was over for the time being. Then I got a phone call, and to be honest, I thought it was annoying. And she was more persistent than I expected, so I had a hard time breaking up with her, but eventually, I was able to safely break it off. I had no idea that she thought I was his lover…

———

As soon as I graduated from high school, I got a job at the same company as my father and worked day and night. Since I was working for the same company as my father and living at home, I couldn’t have much fun and I was getting more and more stressed.

One day, Hazuki asked me if I wanted to go to a new shopping mall in the next town. I didn’t have any plans, so I agreed, but on the way home I saw Yuuri and Kanade having fun with two people I didn’t know.

In fact, this happened quite often.

When I came out of the station, exhausted after my work, I would see them playing together in a happy mood. Their clothes were stylish and current, their hair was neatly groomed, and they looked like winners in their own right. I couldn’t compare them to me in my shabby suit.

Every time I see them, I feel that my current situation is unreasonable.

Why do I have to suffer like this?…

And today, those guys are having fun again, they’re having a great time in my line of sight. I didn’t want to show Yu Li to Hazuki, so I chose the long way around by saying “I have someplace to go”.

Hazuki, who had no idea what I was talking about, asked me, “Where are you going?” Hazuki, who knew nothing about it, asked me, “Where are you going?” But I didn’t have an answer to that question, so I didn’t answer the question and just kept walking, wanting to get away from this place.

Then I heard something snap inside me.

———

One day I came home from work to find my dad, my mom, and Hazuki sitting at the dining room table in the living room. On the table, I saw what looked like some pictures.

“Kouki, sit down there.”

My father’s voice was heavy and cold, and without looking at me.

I obeyed his words and sat down in the chair, then looked down at the picture.

“…huh?”

I was shocked.

Why is this picture here?

It was a picture of me and the woman with whom I was having an affair walking arm in arm and walking into a love hotel.

“You know what the hell you did, don’t you?”

“Ah… ah…”

All I could do was make out a gravelly voice.

I looked at Hazuki sitting next to me, she has been lying on her face for a long time, but her clothes are wet, so she probably cried for a long time.

“Kouki. The woman in this picture, isn’t that Sakuma-san, who works in the office at our company?”

“Yes, that’s right…”

Why did you go into a place like this with Mr. Sakuma when you have Hazuki-chan and Umi? How long have you been having an affair?

“No, no… the time… was about half a year ago…”

I answered in one word in response to my father’s pursuit of me.

Hazuki and my mom never interrupted me during this time.

After all the questions were over, my father turned his body toward Hazuki.

“Hazuki. I am really sorry for my foolishness. I know it’s terrible to ask you this now, but do you think you can continue married life with Kouki from now on?”

I looked at Hazuki as if pleading with her.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do it. Excuse me.”

Hazuki got up and went back to her room.

I hurried after her. I thought that if I didn’t do anything, Hazuki would really disappear from my life.

When I opened the door, Hazuki, who was carrying a suitcase and holding Umi in her arms, was about to leave the room. She was probably already packing her luggage.

“Wait a minute, Hazuki.”

Hazuki ignored me and tried to leave the room.

To stop her, I grabbed her by the shoulders and made her turn toward me.

Hazuki turned around and had a look of anger on her face that I had never seen before.

Then, in an angry voice, she said, “Let go of me.”

“No, wait. Please, just listen to me.”

“Shut up! You betrayed me. Not only me but Umi too! It doesn’t matter what you say now. Even if you apologize, it’s meaningless. I don’t want to hear your apology for betraying me. I don’t want to see your face or hear your voice anymore.”

With that, Hazuki shakes off my hand, greets my father and the others, and walks out of the house. Wait a minute.

I followed Hazuki out of the house.

“Please, let’s talk again.”

Pang!

A loud, thirsty sound rang out in the middle of the aisle.

My cheeks are zinging.

I look at Hazuki with abandon and see her huffing and puffing and glaring at me.

“I don’t ever want to see your face again after you betrayed me! Don’t ever let me see your face again.”

I just sat there.

And then I realized.

I had let go of Hazuki, the person I loved the most.

———

I and Hazuki are divorced.

I was fired from my job and my father disowned me and kicked me out of the house.

I was given about a million yen as a hand-out and told to live in a different city, so I moved to the next prefecture and live alone.

I managed to find a job, but the working environment was worse than before. The alimony to Hazuki and the husband of the affair is being paid through my father, as he wouldn’t want it transferred in my name. He may be prepared to wipe my a*s in the worst-case scenario.

———

Now that I’m alone, I’m starting to play with women again.

As before, I gave money to the homeless and slept around with women who had boyfriends. But it only worked the first time.

As usual, I took the girl and had sex with her many times at my place and at a love hotel. She looked somewhat like Hazuki, and I could feel my mind calming down when I saw her.

Then suddenly, the time came.

She and I had sex as usual and walked out of the love hotel, and several police officers surrounded us. I wasn’t interested, so I didn’t ask, but apparently, she was 17 years old.

Behind the police surrounding me, there was a guy who looked like the woman’s ex-boyfriend staring at me, so he probably called the police.

I was arrested for having sex with a minor, which is a violation of the Juvenile Protection Law.

———

I was sitting in a police car, rocking back and forth, thinking about all the things I’d done.

Where did my life start to go haywire?

Since I broke up with Hazuki?

No, no.

Probably from the first time I held Hazuki, because I couldn’t give up on her.

I became a captive of that pleasure and went crazy.

I have taken women from many men in my life.

But none of them remain with me.

If I had been able to give up on Hazuki then, I wonder if my life would not have turned out like this.