Chapter 132 - Closure

Song Luli and Long Jie searched for Han Ru's hospital room, finding him in a large private suite with a lavish bed, furnished seats, and heavy curtains.

Han Ru was resting peacefully on his bed, when he lifted his head slightly, noticing that he had visitors. His eyes widened slightly, not expecting to have anyone come.

Song Luli noticed there weren't any flowers, no get well cards, nothing. No one else had come for him.

She stepped closer, and Long Jie stayed behind watching.

"I鈥?#34; she began to say. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

His expression softened, and it dawned on her just how gentle he could be when he's not filled with rage or anger.

"I'm well, thank you," he replied hoarsely, looking down. "How are you, Luli?"

"I'm okay," she said, not knowing how else to continue the conversation.

Han Ru glanced at the windows that looked into a garden courtyard. "Can you help me up?" he asked her.

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"My body feels weak, and I would like to sit over there," he pointed his chin at the window ledge.

Song Luli nodded.

Han Ru聽shuffled out of bed, grunting in slight pain. Song Luli took his arm, helping him rise. He gripped on her shoulders, keeping steady as they slowly walked towards the cushioned bench by the window and sat down, facing each other.

Song Luli opened a window, letting the air breeze through them. Song Luli's hair flowed through, the ring of gold around her brown eyes shown.

They both sat in some-what comfortable silence, allowing themselves to think about what to say next.

"I'm sorry," Song Luli heard Han Ru say softly.

She lifted her eyes to meet his, shaking her head. She noticed how his chestnut brown hair spilled over his light, restless eyes.

"My objective was never to hurt you. I just...wanted you to myself," Han Ru admitted.

Song Luli took a deep breath. "Why?" she questioned. "Why didn't you consider how I felt?"

Han Ru pressed his lips into a thin line. "All my life, I never got what I wanted. I never had a father that cared about me. My mother used me; her servants never helped, punishing me every time I lashed out. When I learned that the Longs took everything from my father, I blamed them, but it wasn't their fault. I used it as a crutch to keep going. Of course, I considered Long Jie as a friend when I met him, but I didn't let myself care for him. And I聽remembered the way you looked at me years ago, and it wasn't with lust, it was with compassion, empathy. I hated it because I thought I didn't need anyone's sympathy." Han Ru scoffed at himself.

"Everyone knew what you were going through," Song Luli said. "But I didn't know it was because you were the son of Wang Weimin."

"I'm a bastard," he said. "Illegitimate. I was ruined before I was born."

"It's not your fault that you didn't have people to love you," Song Luli said. "And I did love you, Han Ru. But it was long ago when you chose to shut me out before I met Jie again. But I can't say I was happy about the choices you made recently."

Han Ru nodded. "If I had disrupted your marriage meeting, proclaiming that I wanted you. Would you have chosen me?"

Song Luli sat back, thinking about it carefully. Back then, she knew more about Han Ru than Long Jie. But a brief smiled curved her lips as she glanced at her husband, who kept himself busy, pretending not to listen.

"I think I still would have chosen Long Jie. He wouldn't have let me go," she said, sure of herself.

She imagined Han Ru barging into the marriage meeting room before Long Jie, trying to convince her not to marry a man she barely knew. And she imagined Long Jie coming in shortly after, speaking to her smoothly, letting her know that he would never hurt or embarrass her as Han Ru did. He would have also reminded her of their past, and their shared kiss, the one they had many years ago.

"You two compliment each other," he said. "Which is why I am leaving the country."

Song Luli widened her eyes. "Why?"

Han Ru reached out slightly, and she subtlety shrank back.

"Because you're afraid of me," he said with a low, disheartened tone.

"I鈥?#34;

"Don't be afraid to admit it. I understand," he said. "I'm surprised you came to visit me at all."

Song Luli gave out a sad smile. "Han Ru, you have always been misguided. Xun Yaozu wanted to come after Zichen, regardless if you had some part to play. I never knew the Cloak much, but he seemed ambitious. Miss Mao and Yu Haoran wanted to attack the others for their personal vendettas. I can't excuse what you have done, and not everyone can be saved, but I appreciated that you chose to come to our side. It was your choice that saved you. In some way, you saved Long Jie, too. If he had killed you, he would have hated himself for it. So, yes, I am afraid of you, but I don't hate you."

Something like relief glinted in Han Ru's eyes.

Song Luli didn't know why, but she found herself teary-eyed. "You should find happiness," she told him.

"And I will," he replied. "Somewhere else, somewhere far. I can't stay. I think I will be found out by the police. And if not the police, then the Underworld will find me. I pissed off the Queen."

Song Luli furrowed her brows. "How?"

"She was angry at Xun Yaozu but wants to use me as an example for orchestrating a war when I had no part in their organizations."

Song Luli cringed. "You didn't orchestrate much, but yes, I can see why," she said through a smile, slightly amused.

Han Ru smiled. "Don't worry about me, Luli. I will be fine."

Song Luli took one of his hands. "I will worry. But, let us know how you are progressing from time to time. Jie and I would love to know."

"Thank you," he said.

Song Luli reached out to embrace him gently. She then stood, stalking towards the door.

Long Jie wrapped his arms around her. "Are you all right?" he whispered.

"Better," she said.

"I'm glad. But, I have to speak to him, too."

Song Luli nodded. She watched as Long Jie walked over to Han Ru, beginning to dive in their own conversation. Song Luli didn't want to listen, knowing that their conversation would be more vulnerable than the one she had. So she idled around the hospital halls, a smile blooming on her lips unconsciously. She felt like she got the closure she needed.