CH 158

“I have no room for such a thing,” Azriel said.

“What does having no room have to do with your heart? Does your affection for someone disappear when you’re busy? Is it such an emotion that can be swayed by such a thing?” Lexina asked as if it was strange.

Azriel was briefly lost for words and barely answered, “It’s not that, but Charles and I don’t know each other very well yet. I don’t have enough time to get to know him. I have no choice but to refuse.”

Lexina shook her body, knitting her brow, and asked, “Do your feelings not develop when you don’t have time? Then, do you get to like someone no matter what if you see that person for a long time? And you never fall in love at first sight? What’s that? So strange. Isn’t it the lack of a heart, not time?”

“My… heart?” Azriel repeated.

“Isn’t it that your whole heart belongs to someone else that you don’t have enough time to spare for His Majesty? You must have someone you love,” Lexina said.

Azriel’s inner heart was shaken by the careless remarks that the drunk lady made. It was not what she had expected. With a shaken face, Azriel said in a broken voice, “It’s right that I did it for another person, but that doesn’t mean I love him.”

“Is he your family?” Lexina asked.

“He’s not,” Azriel said.

“Then, are you busy hating him?” Lexina asked again.

“Absolutely not!” Azriel yelled.

“Why do you not have room in your heart for another person if you don’t like him or hate him. You are funny. What’s that?” Lexina said.

“It’s not so simple between people. Things about him are very complicated,” Azriel said.

“What’s so complicated?” Lexina asked sullenly. Azriel stared at the lady’s eyes which were half-closed. She surely did not seem to be of sound mind.

Thus, Azriel shared some of the worries that she had been suppressing and could not share with anyone. “…The person who is precious to me might be doing wrong.”

“Then you should stop him,” Lexina said.

“Well, I don’t know if he’s doing wrong. Maybe, it is a very important thing,” Azriel explained.

“What is that supposed to mean? If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Is it a wrong thing if you can make an excuse?” Lexina refuted.

“Right,” Azriel smiled weakly.

Lexina stretched her hand out and snatched the bottle from Azriel’s hand while she was distracted. Lexina continued asking, “So, you don’t have time because you’re trying to figure out whether he’s bad or not?”

“Perhaps. Stop drinking,” Azriel tried to take the bottle back, but the lady turned her back and hid it. Lexina slowly backed off, still sitting down and avoiding Azriel’s hand.

“Well, you must be really troubled, especially if that person is precious to you. If you confirm that person is really bad, what are you going to do?” Lexina asked.

What was she going to do if she confirmed that Rhema was bad? When she was young, Rhema was like a kind god to her. He promised that he would be on her side even if she did wrong. He said that he would try to speak so that she would not misunderstand him. He smiled as he agreed with her that magic was beautiful. He remembered the picture book she used to like and acquired the same castle for her. To comfort her, he told her what his twin sister told him. He waited all day long, standing and wishing that she would come back safely as she had her first test. He joked, looked at her with soft eyes, spent time reading a book that was not even interesting, and frowned looking down at a chessboard. What was she going to do about the man who consumed most of her life?

“…I don’t know,” Azriel answered with a groan and buried her face in her hands.

Lexina drank the wine from the bottle and said coldly, “Y-you must have never liked anybody, right?”

“…”

“I thought so. Do you even know what liking someone feels like?” Lexina laughed sardonically.