CH 23

Lettis has been a friendly child since childhood. He was so sweet that even the duke was worried about him. It took him a long time to fully accept the complete betrayal of his blood relatives, and in the process, he nearly lost his sister. It wasn’t unreasonable for his mental breakdown. The problem was that, sadly, there was nothing I could do about it. The sense of betrayal and deprivation that the siblings felt was not something that I could judge arbitrarily. And in a situation where clumsy comfort could become poisonous, greater consequences could be created if I did anything.

I greeted the morning with a feeling of frustration and devastation. Lettis came to the table wearing a gown that covered his wrists well, and in front of Estelle, who knew nothing, the three of us worked hard to pretend to be our usual selves and finished our meal. After breakfast, Estelle suddenly grabbed her older brother and asked him to play ‘hair salon.’ Since Estelle, who had no motivation to do anything these days, made an offer full of enthusiasm for the first time in a long time, Lettis was dragged to the library without being able to refuse. I shouted to him to take the stove. Although it was still a bit cold, the snow had stopped and the clear sunlight was pouring in through the window. I hadn’t done any laundry since winter came, so I thought I should wash some pajamas on such a nice day.

The problem started there. When I went into the bathroom with the pajamas packed and stooped down to get water in the bathtub, I could see the remains of something scattered around the drain. That was none other than today’s breakfast. To be precise, it was the traces of vomit after eating breakfast and clumsily flushing it with water. Estelle seemed to have vomited again. It seemed like she secretly threw up here and cleaned it up in case I would see it. The vomits seemed to have stopped for a while, so I was relieved. But now it seems to have started again. Or it never stopped to begin with? Did she secretly do this every day because she was afraid I’d be worried?

I knelt and sat on the floor. I was about to clean up the messy drain, but my vision was blurred. There was no way of knowing whether Estelle’s rejection of food was due to a problem with the digestive system or a psychological cause. Either way, it was a freaking damn situation. It was a really f*cking absurd situation…

“Sasha? Why are you sitting like that?”

Venya came in through the half-opened door. I guess he expected me to be doing the laundry. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and stuttered.

“She vomited again.”

“…”

“I guess she can’t digest it. Because she was so sick… I should have started with a diet based on liquid… because she can’t…”

Venya came over without a word, sat down next to me, raised his hand, and gently patted my back. We stood silent for a long time. 

I’ve thought about it hundreds of times. What would the original Sasha do? What would she think and what would she do in this situation? I don’t think it would be any more different from what I am now. She was supposed to be the sprouts of a villainess, and I was a reincarnation with memories from another world, but it didn’t seem like there was much difference between us.

After a heavy silence, Venya slowly opened his mouth. An indifferent, dry voice came out.

“It wasn’t his first time doing that.”

What? I stopped rubbing my eyes with my sleeve and looked at him blankly. A bitter and harsh smile passed through the sky-blue eyes that stared at my expression.

“Last time, when I said I threw all the books while trying to climb the bookshelves. Well, actually, it wasn’t because I was playing… It was because Hyung tried to hang himself there. With a belt.”

“…”

“I mean, I know, right? It was bound to fail and so stupid. Did you have a hard time cleaning up all the books?”

[tl/n: If you can’t grasp the sarcasm yeah, he’s been quite sarcastic]

No words came out. Last night’s incident alone was shocking, but I could understand Venya’s harsh reaction now… it wasn’t the first time for him. My hand moved on its own and grabbed him tightly. Venya spoke again, slowly, his gaze to the floor.

“Hyung isn’t that kind of person. You know it too… the older brother I know isn’t that weak and pathetic. No matter what… he isn’t the kind of person who would try to escape alone…”

It’s true. The little master I knew, even though he was a bit bland in character, wasn’t the kind of guy who would make an extreme choice over his younger siblings in a difficult situation… However, he was still only a child, and no one could predict what kind of changes would happen if a person was driven to the edge of their sanity. 

At first, I vaguely thought I could somehow survive for two years here. Then, many things happened and Estelle fell sick, I was no different. I was drained and frustrated. I desperately dreamed of escaping, but there was no way. Hiding in the cart and escaping was already used once and was found out. If we tried to climb down the tower through the small window, we would fall and die as soon as we started. 

‘And let’s say a miracle happens and we get out of this tower, where can we go? Estelle is too weak to escape, and above all, when we get out of the tower, we will be in the hands of the enemies. Would there be at least one trustworthy person left in the duke’s mansion?’

“Hyung is hyung, but Estelle is no longer the same as she used to be. When I look back these days, it seems like some kind of ghost is roaming around… Sometimes when I wake up, I’m afraid that the two will be dead. That’s why I can’t fall asleep.”

Hesitantly, I raised my hand and touched Venya’s eyes. The expression that flickered in his eyes was complicated. Sadness, anger, and fear, a whirlwind of mixed emotions filled with dampness.

“I can’t stand it. Seeing how the two have changed… I can’t f*cking stand it…”

As his dry voice cracked, he began to tremble trying to suppress the tears. It was a difficult scene to watch. It felt like my heart was going to break into pieces.

Who made such a cocky and noble boy this way? Who made us like this? There are so many bad people in the world, why do we, who are still children, have to suffer like this? If it’s the suffering caused solely because we aren’t the main characters or because it’s our fate as villains, it’s truly unfair and absurd.

I moved and wrapped my arms around the boy’s dropped head. Venya didn’t refuse it. He just buried his face in my chest and let out a sob.

“I’d rather… I really think it would be better if we all died together… I don’t know what to do… Sasha, do you still think we can make it?”

Tears were flowing from my eyes too. I swallowed a few sniffles and buried my face in Venya’s messy hair.

“Venya, you said you trust me, right? If I say I had seen a future where in half a year we will all be out of here, will you still believe me?”

A scheduled story that only I know. In the past, I was afraid of being misunderstood or taken as a crazy person if I had said something like that so I didn’t dare to say it. But at this moment, the words came out on their own as if I was possessed by something.  

Venya laughed. He cried and laughed.

“How…? Are you going to wait for the butler to come in and kill him?”

I also chuckled.

“That’s a good idea. We pick the day when the banquet will be held, you and Oppa work together to kill Mr. Harris, I carry Estelle on the back, and go out together. And then we go into the mansion and show up in front of all the guests, voila!”

Venya asked again.

“And then? Then what do we do…? What do we do with the people who did this to us…?”

I gave strength to my arms and held him tightly.

Soon after, I -Sasha- whispered,

“We kill them all.”