Chapter 157 - SHIFT

"The wedding should be announced everywhere too! A grand and outstanding marriage between you and Lapil. Dowry shouldn't matter too, right? We could give more than enough to your family."

"Kaliya," Datu Pita intercepted, "I'm fine, if Yanar is still not ready I will not push her to get married."

"But Datu, Yanar is not getting any younger too, while she's young it's healthy to conceive a child. Remember when Ara had her? Things might get difficult for her too, just like what her mother had gone through..." The atmosphere had died down. 

Marriage then a baby? This era. 

"Lapil has reached the age where he can become a father, he could take care of Yanar's health as well, and for the time being, he could reside here to protect you both." She continued, Yanarym put down her spoon and looked at the young men.

Lapil was pleased as his mother vouched for him to become her husband while Maki was looking blankly at his meal and not moving at his spot. When she looked at Datu Pita, she could see that he was starting to consider what Hara was trying to point out. 

"Dada," she called her softly, "I'm not ready yet, I want to be with my Baba more. If I get married, I have to leave his side and serve my future husband solely. You're right, my Baba is not getting younger and he is alone too. If there's someone I want to get married, other than me, I want my Baba to find a wife for himself." 

"A wife?" Hara Kaliya was startled. "What are you saying Yanar?" 

"My Baba won't say it but ever since Iloy died, he was lonely. He never loved someone else, although I like it that way, he is not supposed to grow old on his own. If Iloy could talk, I know that she will want him not to grow old alone too."

"I will only have Ara as my wife. I will not replace your mother."

"Baba, it's not a replacement. You will not forget Iloy, right? That is enough." 

"Yanar," Datu Pita said with a grim expression. He didn't know that his daughter knew that he was still grieving for the death of Ara. It's true, from his wife's death, he did not take in someone new even if that was the custom.

Replacing Ara's place in his heart would never happen. He will only love one person, one woman, that is Ara. 

"Alright, I'll stop, but you should think of it carefully Baba. Marriage is not just about love, it's also about mutual understanding and stability that could offer you security. Your love for Iloy will never be stained or will never be stolen away, it's all hers." Yanarym resumes and picks up her spoon.

"But now, we still have a feast to finish, let's dig in more." She smiled widely and began eating again. "By the way, I was with Lapil and Maki earlier. We were trying to fish on the river, you know, I caught one~ this big and ist...!" The Datu laugh along with the Hara listening to her absurd story trying to retaliate what they had just conversed about.

Lapil smiled and chuckled silently. As expected from her, she's so smart that she changed and ended the subject easily and none of the elders have even noticed. She turned the atmosphere from the dead to alive. 

As soon as the dinner was over Yanarym and the Hara were told that they could rest. Upon reaching each other's room, Yanarym crawled to her bed and watched the ceiling for no apparent reason. 

"Bai, can we talk?" Few moments of being in stillness as she was considering her next move. She had heard the latest report from Guide-sama that the rebellion was postponed and she heard Maki's voice from her door. 

She sits up from her bed, "Come in." 

Maki walked towards her, with no words of caution he cupped her face and kissed her not harshly but sensually. As he kept on, he noticed that she wasn't kissing him back so he stopped. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by her confused stares. He smiled sadly and rested his forehead to hers. 

"I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I want to feel you." He whispered to her in a depressive tone. "You know, Bai, I never cared about reputation before -- or riches, I thought they were all trivial matters. However, upon listening to Hara and Datu earlier… I felt so little..." 

"Maki, don't say that..." Yanarym muttered his name, but he was still in a depressive state. His eyes were clouded, it seemed like it was about to rain. What did she even do this time?! Why would he cry?! First Lapil and then Maki?! Really?! How could she hurt these sweethearts? Oh, my gee. She's such a bitch! 

Guide-sama: "I seconded." 

"Guide-sama," 

Guide-sama: "Yes?" 

"Shut up!"

Maki was silent for a moment, his arms glid to encircle her body. 

Maki clenched his jaw and moved his head to her neck. Yanarym could hear his sharp breathing. He sounded as if he was struggling not to cry. She felt a sharp sting on her heart, heartbroken that he was like this. 

"I lack everything… Bai, I-I'm not enough t-to make you happy." His voice cracked, "B-but I love you, I don't want to g-give you up, I c-can't be alone again, Bai." 

Maki was an orphan, he was alone for decades. No one cared for him and he was surviving by himself. Tala might be his friend but she wasn't thinking about his welfare at all. And Maki was aware that he was being used. Unlike Achis and Lapil, Maki lacked attention, love, wealth, power, and people. However, those matters don't concern him, he wasn't even saddened by his situation. But it seems like she made him think that he wasn't enough.. And that was not true, he is enough… it's just that he made a mistake liking her.