Chapter 138 - DIFFERENCE

The original story's escalating tension would be this. But now that Lapil no longer had to concern himself in regards to Tala, Yanarym was not sure what would happen to the female lead.

She almost forgot about the female protagonist in the recent world. Now that she thinks about it, what happened to Alyana? What exactly did Alyx do with his female lead? The last thing she remembered was the abduction and starvation. Yanarym wasn't even sure which was the worst, starving or being tortured. If she was in her shoes, she doesn't want to get famish. And doesn't want to suffer from torture too. But if she would be tortured but fed by any food she wanted, she would choose torture. Then being starved alone and no torture. Whatever, that's beside the particular moment. That past was no longer necessary. And she wouldn't let herself undergo that kind of scenario. 

Guide-sama: "Nothing more happened, that's all of it."

"What about Maki? Any news from him?" She asked and thought, what about if Achis caught Maki and her in the act, she began to wonder, will they die through Achis' hands? Or will Achis only slaughter Maki? Both of their characters lack the main character's halo. If Achis decides to kill them, they will most likely die in an instant.

Surprisingly, the timing was perfect. Maki and Achis both left and arrived at the convenient moments.

Guide-sama: "Maki is ready to shift to your side whenever you say so. He's also keeping close tabs on Tala's schemes."

"Maki's character has altered, hasn't it? From Tala's greatest reliable ally to her most rapacious foe." 

Guide-sama: "What about Lapil?"

"What about him?"

Guide-sama: "He, too, has diverged; he is no longer the man who fell in love with Tala. He now has an emotional investment in you. He's into you."

"Don't make me laugh, Lapil was originally a character who doesn't know how to love. The story stated that he accepted Tala as his wife but he was not in love with her, he just admired her." 

Guide-sama: "What's the difference?" 

"It's different. If you admire someone you like something specific about them. Whether it's their appearance, attitude or personality, or just what they have. The point is, admiring someone requires something for you to admire. And once you find flaws in them, the admiration will gradually fade away." 

Guide-sama: "Doesn't love fade away too?" 

"Yes, yes it does. So, if you love someone, even if they don't have anything, you will still submit. Even if you hate them, even if they do things that could turn you off. You are still into them, you will keep on coming back to them. And that's why love is something more than admiration because it fades away not because you were turned off or because you hate them too much. It was just because there's no more love." 

Guide-sama: "I get it at the same time I don't." 

"It's kind of complicated, I guess." 

Guide-sama: "With your description of love, it seems wonderful to be in love. Why don't you ever love anyone Yanarym?" 

"Hmm, why can't you love Guide-sama?" 

Guide-sama: "I can't feel emotion. I don't have feelings." 

"Maybe I'm just like you." 

Guide-sama: "But you can feel emotions, you have feelings, you are a human." 

"I know, I find it weird too, that I can't love. It's not like my IQ is too high for my EQ to be so low. It's the other way around. However, falling in love… for me--- I don't know. I can't believe 'that' exists. Have you forgotten what I told you? Love is total surrender."

Guide-sama: "That means?"

"I can't surrender to anyone." 

Guide-sama: "Are you scared of falling in love?" 

"Not really, but each time someone would confess their feelings, I could find loopholes in their confession." 

Guide-sama: "But Achis loves you and he said he was willing to die for you." 

"And you believed that?" 

Guide-sama: "Why not believe him?"

"It was his word at the time he was lustful, and it was only spoken in the heat of the moment. If they triggered their sex drives, don't believe the nonsense they're spewing."

Guide-sama: "What if it's true?" 

"He shall prove it first, and then we'll see what happens."

Guide-sama: "I'm not sure if you're just bitter or if you're overly fair."

"I'm not bitter, I'm stating facts." 

Guide-sama: "Strange enough, you were not always right but you always make it sound right." 

"Now, you are not making sense." 

Guide-sama: "Have you forgotten? You were wrong that Lapil wasn't into you, and you're wrong about---"

"Guide-sama,"

Guide-sama: "Yes?"

"Shut up." Guide-sama shut his babbling, and her head faded into obscurity. She commenced modifying her strategy as the circumstances escalated to this present dilemma.

Yanarym set her spoon on the table and got up, ambling into the window. She stared up at the sky, which had been illuminated by the moon. 

Training swordsmanship will be irrelevant if the other tasks were never accomplished. And that was, the original's father's banwa must be protected first, seeing as Achis had joined forces with Tala, which means there will be a big probability of them winning the battle. 

She could, however, just die and do a reset. Since she had almost mastered swordsmanship, she will just stay here and finish the training and die. And instead of going to Achis, she could prepare the banwa of Datu Pita for Tala's invasion. But restarting the entire progression means she has to live in this world for much longer again. 

She sighed, here was her another headache, considering she wouldn't have to abandon him if only Achis hadn't chosen Tala. She had been content to spend her whole time with him, but now he had forced her to decide between abandoning him. 

And thinking about it, she was bluffing about abandoning him before whenever they would talk about something.. But it seems like it would come in handy now that this happened.