73 Oh no, I’m in trouble

I don't know why.. but I had a feeling that I want to sleep longer, preferable for a few months. My eyelids felt slightly heavy and I can smell a familiar fragrance that made my heart beat fast.

No wonder. My brain registered it first before I could process it. He's here. Kuro is here. So, I turn sideway, hiding my face away all the while pretending to keep on sleeping. Crossing my finger on my chest, hoping that he'll leave me alone and won't get angry at me for breaking the 'You're grounded' golden rule: not to go out.

I know, I know. Trust me to break the very core of the rule and still had the cheek to wish for the impossible. But hey, it doesn't hurt to hope.

"Ouch!" Or so I hope. It does hurt to hope. Hurt like a certain needle punctured on your butt cheek.

"Why did you do that??!" I sat up and glare at Kuro. Kuro who had a book on his hand, snap it shut deliberately slow.

"Oh, my wife had awoken. For a second there, I thought you were going to sleep in longer" his facial expression was exactly the same expression on my mom when she caught me climbing up the tree and jumping from tree to tree like a monkey, after setting some traps to prank the others. The 'you're caught red-handed and so in Bigggggggg trouble' expression. He laced his fingers ontop of his abdomen, which I know had packs that packed women lust in a big boxes and can easily distract people-

"My eyes up here, my darling" and that snapped my head back to his face. That prompt me to speak out first. Always attack first, in a losing battle to gain any semblance of advantage. Even if it'll only 0.0001 percent chances, never let the opportunity slip by.

"I don't like being inside one place for too long and I don't appreciate being grounded inside a room like I'm some kind of prisoner. But still, I still did what you asked me to. That was Until I saw a blue orb floating around and followed it. I mean, come on... I was curious and wanted to know where it goes, plus who knows when will I see it again. I didn't know that by following it, it would end up like this" the more I talk, the more it sounded so ridiculously lame and annoying even to my ears. I bite my lips and puffed my cheeks. Trying to stop myself from saying anything, before I regret it more. All the while Kuro eyes never left me. I exhaled slowly.

"I am sorry.." i said with a heavy heart. that finally left my lips.

"Oh, weren't you trying to start a fight with me? Like you and me shouting, screaming at each other throat because I am really, really ready for that."

"And then what? You'll divorce me? No need. Just give me the paper, I'll sign it. No need for you to overexert yourself"

Something flashed outside.

CRACK!

"How am I going to straighten that attitude of yours? Should I hurt your feeling first, so it goes inside your pretty little head? Because right now, I can see why your ex put his hand you. You have a sharp little tongue that dig into any male's heart and feeling. Might as well just punch them right to their face or kick their balls"

Ouch. That really stabbed my heart. I can feel tiny little pricks stabbing inside my heart but I know I was to blame for running off my mouth. I started this and I had to take it.

"Let me get this straight. I asked you to stay inside the inn. But you left because you're curious about some flying lights that may or may not be dangerous to your life. You even leave that boy you saved and planned to take as your adopted son alone, for who knows how long, lost, alone and without any defence while you go off your merry way for an adventure."

I open my mouth to reply him but his eyes sharpened as a warning not to cut him off. I meekly shut my mouth and let him continued.

"Then you almost died few times because of your reckless adventure and made me worry sick, probably one of your way to make those close of you to die early. Had you forgotten about your mission and your children waiting and missing you at my parents place?"

"This world is not like your former world, Iiana. It is not safe and full with unexpectedness that might cost your life. I won't use our marriage to make you promise not to be reckless, since it was so easy for you to throw it away, but at least think of your children." He stood up and look at me for few minutes before leaving me there with those heavy words. The door was left open, and soon another familiar face came with an annoyed face, looking at me with disgust.

"I don't know where you come from, but here in our place, we cherish a relationship once it is tied. We swore to our gods, our ancestors, to ourselves and also nature that no matter what we will never abandoned each other. Be its a marriage with or without love. For you to say, divorce like drinking a tea, its a blasphemy. You are definitely not worthy for Kuro. Not for anyone" he scoffed and walk away toward the direction where Kuro went.

There goes the wall that I had build for so long. It crumbled away and I cried silently. There was nothing else for me to say for myself, as there were nothing to defend against at. It was all true and while I was a victim to my past, no scratch that. I had played a victim for so long and its rotting the real me. I told myself I was getting stronger but the fact is staring right at my face. I was afraid of it so much that I become one. Afraid of not being worthy and finally I had proven everyone and myself that I was exactly that.

"What you believe is what you'll be. What you're afraid of, will keep on chasing you until you learn to conquer it" I heard it once, a long time ago.

What was I thinking? I thought I had promised myself I would treat the future man that will love and care me. Yet I had hurt him, made him angry and tried to run away from these feeling. Just when I realised that I was falling for him, I unconsciously did everything that would test his patience while maybe hoping that he will prove to me that all man are the same. They will leave me..

Which man wouldn't leave a woman like me if this is how I act? Even I wouldn't stick for too long and will be out of the dodge in no time to find some new and fresh love.. so, what that say about my personality? Childish. And definitely need to control what came out from my mouth.

The fact that I never slept with him made me seems prudish and definitely someone who just play around, unwilling to make a commitment.