313 The Unwantable Woman, the Shameless Man

The distant sun sat very low on the edge of the plains. In that black linethat was the monster tide, there were many monsters that could fly. Theyblocked out the rays of light, causing the world to go dark. On the high platform of the mausoleum, the green leaves of the wutong treecast their mottled shadow over their figures like the night had come early.  The night had always signified death and the end, but it also often signifiedsafety and peace. Under the cover of the night, people dared to do things theynormally did not do, dared to feel emotions they normally did not feel, daredto talk about matters they normally did not talk about.  Those words were often true words, spoken from the heart.   At the moment, they could no longer clearly make out each other's faces,only the eyes. Fortunately, both of their eyes were very clear and bright. ChenChangsheng silently stared into her eyes for a long time, then abruptly said,"Truthfully, I've deceived you on something."  Xu Yourong was shocked, and said softly, "What thing?"  Chen Changsheng did not directly answer the question. "The reason why I choseto deceive you back then is because… I'm engaged."  Once he said these words, he felt much more relaxed. Moreover, he knewexactly why he was so much more relaxed. Upon hearing these words, Xu Yourong was very quiet for a long time. She felta faint sense of disappointment, and she did not even know why she wasdisappointed.  Whenever such valorous matters were taken out of the bag, they would bloomwith countless rays of light and thorns. It was very difficult to put thesematters back in the bag, and also very difficult to make them go dark once more. Chen Changsheng continued to gaze into her eyes as he spoke. "But I don't wantto marry her, I want to end the engagement."  This was a supplement, an explanation, a declaration, a promise. Althoughnothing had happened between the two of them—he did not even know what she wasthinking at the moment—since he was the first to have his heart moved, it wasup to him to make a clean slate of everything. Just like his senior had oncesaid, only by making a clean slate of things could one obtain a beautifulresult.  Xu Yourong felt that his eyes were far too bright, so she lowered her head.She somewhat angrily thought to herself, why is he telling this to me?  Then, very curiously, she began to think of her fiancé. That man had usedevery method possible to get her to marry him… Yes, even now, she had no choicebut to admit that her fiancé was truly outstanding, far more outstanding thanshe had imagined. Only that man's scheming was too deep, too hypocritical, notat all like this honest and reliable Snow Mountain Sect disciple.  Why would she compare him to that guy?  When she suddenly thought about this, she felt a little flustered. "Why doyou not want to marry her?"  She asked this question to conceal her own fluctuating emotions, to preventherself from thinking about such embarrassing things, but it was also becauseshe really wanted to know just what sort of girl he liked and what sort of girlhe did no like. Chen Changsheng silently considered what to say, then said, "My fiancée isextremely famous in my world."  Xu Yourong thought to herself, in the bitter cold lands of the northeast, thearistocratic families have all already declined, and in the end, they were justprovincial powers. They were only famous in the northeast, so she could notunderstand.  "She… is very proud."  Chen Changsheng seriously pondered this. Although he found that girl quitedisagreeable, he did not think it was right to badmouth her too much in frontof another girl. After considering a few phrases, he continued, "Perhaps it wasbecause of her family background, growing up in an unsuitable environment,which caused her to be very proud. That's not to say that she walked aroundwith her foot raised high and a noble air, ordering people around by pointingher chin; it's just that she's gotten used to handling all matters by gazingdown upon them from up high… including me."  Xu Yourong had never liked those arrogant and cold noble young ladies, so shesaid, "Your meaning is that she viewed you with contempt?"  Chen Changsheng nodded. Xu Yourong thought to herself, his talent is so outstanding, his knowledge soextensive, his nature so honest; if that fiancée looked down on him, how proudand stupid was she, how terrible was her vision?  He said, "But what I hate about her the most is her feigned aloofness. Shegrew up on the Five Grains like everyone else, it's not like she's someimmortal who dines on the wind and dew." (TN: The five grains are rice, wheat,beans, and two types of millet.)  Xu Yourong highly approved of his words. Every day she would see thosedevoted seniors and juniors of the South Stream Temple's outer sect, theirfaces masked in white cloth as they noiselessly walked, their robes unswaying.Their concealed, almost transcendent appearances made her feel uneasy, sooftentimes she would sit alone on the cliff, then after a while leave for thesmall village to play a few rounds of cards, to once again find a little joyfor life. "But later on for some reason, she once again agreed to that engagement." Chen Changsheng continued, "In fact, I understand what she's thinking. Shejust wants to use me." Xu Yourong thought to herself, this was probably after he entered SnowMountain Sect's Secret Sect and began to display his talent. Only by seeing hislimitless prospects would his fiancée change her mind. With just this singlethought, her opinion of this woman had dropped even lower, to the point ofshame. Proud, stupid, terrible vision; all those could still be saved, butthis… was a problem of virtue. "It's better to not have this sort of woman. Ending the engagement is the bestchoice." She soothingly said to Chen Changsheng, somewhat sympathizing with hisencounter. "Yes, I was also thinking this way. Especially now, I am more and moreconvinced that ending the engagement is the best choice.” Chen Changsheng gazed at her as he said this. These words were meant for her. As Xu Yourong stared into his increasingly bright eyes and listened to hisslightly trembling voice, she could not help but be stunned. She was anincomparably intelligent woman, so how could she not understand what thissignified? She once again felt a little flustered, and was getting more so bythe second. She thought about how she also had an engagement and that she had not eventold him, and she thought that this fact was why she was flustered, but she didnot know that at certain moments, the quickened beating of the heart could alsoeasily make one flustered. The sky was dark. The leaves of the wutong gently swayed in the breeze. Therough wood of the trunk gradually grew warm. The high platform of the mausoleumwas like night. For a very long time, there was no sound. "Truthfully… I also have an engagement." The darkness enveloped the highplatform and Xu Yourong's voice was very soft. If one was not carefullylistening, it would be easy for her voice to be obscured by the gentle rustlingof the leaves of the wutong tree. "Ah?" Chen Changsheng's voice seemed very surprised, as if he could not havepossibly imagined it. Then it swiftly became as dull as water. "Is that so? So it was originally like that." Perhaps because the emotions in his voice were too obvious, anybody could hearhis sadness and disappointment, so when Xu Yourong's second sentence followed,she said it somewhat quickly. Her words were rushed, but the meaning in herwords was very definite with no wavering. "But I don't want to marry him, moreover, I definitely won't marry him." Similarly, this was an explanation, a supplemental, a declaration, then… wasit a promise? The high platform enveloped in darkness once again grew quiet. After a while,Chen Changsheng began to laugh. Xu Yourong was somewhat angry and ashamed. "What are you giggling about?" Chen Changsheng replied, "Nothing." If Tang Thirty-Six were here, he would almost certainly say something at thistime: Who would believe that there was nothing between the two of you! Chen Changsheng very quickly returned to his senses as he thought to himself,her situation is not at all like mine. Maybe I'm just overthinking things.Curious and also uneasy, he asked her, "Your… your fiancé, what sort of personis he?" Xu Yourong softly said, "We've known each other for many years. Although lateron, I would almost forget that he existed, I really did know him when we wereboth young. I remember very clearly that back then, he was a very annoyingchild." Chen Changsheng pretended to defend him, "Little boys often cause others tofeel very annoyed… I'm no exception." Xu Yourong said, "Anyhow, because of a certain matter, I determined to havenothing more to do with him. I didn't imagine that after several years, hewould come back to pester me again." Chen Changsheng thought to himself, to conduct oneself in such a manner wastruly lacking in self-respect and self-esteem. "Over there… the engagement is a very important matter. In addition, thatengagement was decided by our elders, so it's very difficult to end theengagement." Xu Yourong thought he was a disciple of the Snow Mountain Sect in thenortheast, so the 'over there' naturally indicated the Central Plains.Meanwhile, Chen Changsheng heard it as the place in the demi-human domain inwhich the elves had settled. He thought to himself, the elves have suffered so many tribulations throughouttheir history and now very few of them remain. To reproduce and flourish wastheir first priority, so they could only permit marriage amongst fellow elves.This policy is inevitably somewhat harsh, but to a young woman that yearns fortrue love, it truly seems rather cruel. "Since so many years have passed… could it be… your fiancé hasn't gotten alittle bit better?" "He has not. That fool's nature has not improved one bit, or has even gottenworse." Xu Yourong thought of those matters Shuang'er had brought up in her lettersand she grew increasingly downcast. "I must admit that that fool is reallyoutstanding in some areas, but… he has many unacceptable shortcomings." This was the first time Chen Changsheng had heard such bitterness in hervoice. He thought to himself, it seems that she really hates her fiancé. "He gives the appearance that he doesn't care about worldly matters, that he'shonest and benevolent, but in reality, he is a deep schemer and abuses moneyand power to meet his ends." As she said these words, Xu Yourong was thinking about when that man firstentered the capital. He had somehow managed to get in the good graces of theBureau of Ecclesiastic Education and become a student of the Orthodox Academy.Then by making use of the conflict between the old Imperial Clan and the DivineEmpress, and stirring up countless storms, he managed to stand firm in thecapital and obtain massive benefits. How could such a person be some unworldlyyoung boy from the countryside? Chen Changsheng thought about it, then said, "To act in such a hypocriticalmanner is truly unbecoming." Xu Yourong said mockingly, "And it doesn't stop there. This person is also asocial climber. I don't know what… methods he used, but he managed to get inthe good graces of some noble. As for further details, not even I am willing tospeak more about it." These words were obviously speaking of that person's relationship with Luoluo.Chen Changsheng sincerely said, "Logically, an acquaintance shouldn't sowdiscord amongst intimate friends, so I shouldn't say anything, but… this sortof man is truly unacceptable." As he was saying these words, he was rather interested. These so-called…methods, what exactly were they? In his view, her fiancé was an even more dangerous enemy than that seniorbrother of hers. She angrily complained and criticized him, but it is said thatonly with hope can there be disappointment. Didn't her complaints and critiquesindicate that deep within her heart, she still faintly held some sort ofexpectation for her fiancé? He naturally wanted to know more. Xu Yourong did not immediately answer to what he said, choosing to remainsilent. Chen Changsheng thought to himself, don't tell me that those methods are soshameless that they are even hard to talk about? Xu Yourong was thinking about those letters that had come from the capital. Those letters came from her dearly-trusted Shuang'er as well as Mo Yu. In Shuang'er's letter, she had described a certain scene. Under the lovely spring sunshine in the Orthodox Academy's library, he andthat young demi-human princess were embracing each other. In Mo Yu's letter, she had described a certain scene. In that dragon cave below the well at New North Bridge, he and the BlackDragon turned into a girl were embracing each other. Yes, even if he had even more faults, they could all be explained. At most,she would just end the engagement and they would become strangers to eachother, but there would be no need for such a rejection. Only due to theseevents was she unable to accept it. If she could accept such a thing, it wouldinflict the greatest humiliation upon herself. "He likes to pick the flowers and trample the grass."  (TN: womanize with others.) She tried as much as possible to calmly and objectively state, "Moreover, heonly does so with uncomprehending young girls." The dark mausoleum platform was quiet. After some time had passed, there was a sudden heavy strike, and then ChenChangsheng's angry voice rang out.