Chapter 71

***

There had been countless surprises in her life, but the sum of all of them was not as great as today.

Her body, which reacted steadily to Roger’s touch, became as cold as a stone that had stood in one place for hundreds of years.

It was painful that Roger’s forearm, which she inadvertently grabbed on to, was real. His sweat dripping down his chin onto her chest also evoked an excessive sense of realism.

A vivid background, a sticky feel. The pain was so intense that it gave her goosebumps.

This was extremely real.

Vivian’s jaw trembled.

“Uh, dream… not.”

Her trembling voice was very pathetic.

Roger, who hovered above her, looked down at her and stiffened. Vivian slowly pulled away from him. Her pale, weary face did not get better, but became whiter as time went on.

Her mind was spinning from the sudden realization. But as she made her way to the end of the bed, she almost fell off the edge.

“Wait, Vivian!”

He grabbed Vivian’s wrist in an instant. At that moment, Vivian’s face, which had been confused, distorted. Their eyes met in the darkness where moonlight was the only light.

As soon as her trembling stopped, her hardened lips opened and what had been suppressed came out.

“… Ahhh!”

It was a desperate scream of astonishment.

* * *

There had never been a moment when she wanted to disappear from the world more than now.

Thump, fwish.  

The fireplace Roger lit quickly illuminated their dark surroundings. Vivian sat cross-legged on the velvet armchair, holding her face in her hands. Her naked body was thoroughly covered by sheets.

Click.  

At the sound of a teacup being placed in front of her, Vivian’s shoulders shook like a leaf in the wind. She could sense him sitting next to her, but she couldn’t remove her hands from her face.

“… How long are you going to be like that?”

His deep voice pierced her ears. Vivian was furious, but did not remove the hand that covered her face. She couldn’t confidently look at him. The slight intoxication and excitement she felt thinking it was a dream had long since disappeared. Instead, all that was left was embarrassment and shame.

Seeing her still unresponsive, he sighed and muttered.

“This is my bedroom.”

She knew without him having to say it. She noticed it as soon as she got out of bed. The furniture was in the same location, but it was a completely different room.

It was then that Vivian remembered that she had only left her bedroom due to a headache. What happened was entirely her fault.

Vivian knew it was her mistake, but she didn’t have the courage to apologize. It was because she was reminded of moments ago, when she embraced him. She wanted to become dust and be blown away by the wind.

When she didn’t answer, silence fell in the room.

“Please look at me…”

Unable to bear it, he whispered. Vivian wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her head in her lap. He glared at her, wondering if he should make her look at him by force.

“I vaguely guessed.”

He tapped the table with his finger. It was a childish gesture because she didn’t raise her head.

“But… I didn’t know you’d come here in the middle of the night like this.”

He was less agitated than Vivian, but he wasn’t calm by any means. When she realized that it wasn’t a dream, she thought her heart was going to explode. A chill unlike anything she had ever felt enveloped her body. She hadn’t even felt this way when she was wielding a sword in battle.

It was her fault for everything that happened today. Vivian lifted her head. It was as red as an apple.

“That- that!”

The moment Roger filled her sight, she choked up. His face reminded her of the past, and she could see his strong upper body through his half-buttoned shirt. Vivian murmured, burying her face in her lap.

“Sorry.  I misunderstood…”

Puzzled that she had left her bedroom at dawn, he asked.

“What happened?”

“I woke up thirsty, but the pitcher was empty… I didn’t want to wake anyone up, so I went down by myself.  And when I came back, I mistook your bedroom for mine, so…”

Her voice became softer and softer with each word. Roger’s eyes narrowed, capturing her every detail.

After she closed her mouth, there was more silence. Vivian squeezed her hands around her knees. She didn’t know how to get out of this embarrassing situation. Of course, she knew that nothing would be solved by escaping, but she wanted to somehow avoid the crisis that was approaching.

The tea he made was cooling down.

Thanks to the fireplace, the bedroom was warm, but it was frigid cold between the two of them. Roger’s eye twitched as he watched the steam rising from the teacup.

“By the way, are you okay?”

Vivian flinched at the question. Her face, which had been stubbornly hidden, was revealed at lightning speed.

“I- below!”

Her face, which she thought had finally cooled down, became insanely hot. Vivian clasped her cheeks and exclaimed, but he glanced at her with an unconcerned expression. To be precise, between her legs.

He remembered how she cried as she lay under him. She cried so sadly that it made his heart sink. Even though he hurriedly pulled out, that didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

“Didn’t you cry earlier?”

His voice that asked with concern was very cautious. Not feeling it enough to ask, he reached out and gently wiped her cheek. It was as if he was wiping away her tears from earlier.

Vivian was startled when his fingers, which were cool, touched her hot cheeks. She hurriedly grabbed his hand and stuttered, pulling it away from her face.

“H-hey, I’m okay, I’m okay.”

He made an uneasy expression at her impatient reply, then said suddenly.

“I’ll see for myself if you’re okay.”

“Huh? What are you doing…!”

Vivian raised her voice in amazement at Roger, who suddenly leaned toward her, and hurriedly scooted her body back. But he didn’t care. Instead, he knelt at her feet and grabbed something. It was her ankle, which was not covered by the sheet. Vivian’s face hardened when she realized he was really trying to see her ‘secret place’.

“Oh, no! I don’t like it! Don’t look!”

However, with all of the composure she had maintained, Vivian struggled with him. He frowned as he grabbed her calf over the sheet.

“If there are any wounds, it would be best to apply some medicine. And since I’ve seen it all before, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“No! I hate it!”

He tried to peel off the sheet, and their quarrel continued for a long time as she tried to fend him off. The distance they had maintained had been broken.

Vivien pushed her chair back as his hand gripped the inside of her thigh, holding on tightly despite the intense struggle.

“I’ll just go back.”

Rather than asking, it was more of a notification. At her sudden action, Roger looked up blankly at Vivian. She hurriedly passed by him after he had picked up the sheets she had dropped. She was already running.

He couldn’t even say good-bye. Vivian rushed out of his bedroom and headed to the end of the hallway, her actual  bedroom. She locked the door as soon as she entered, lest he come after her.

After a brief struggle, her breath caught in her throat. She leaned against the door and took a quick breath, but even after waiting for a long time, she did not feel a presence outside the door.

Vivian relaxed and slid down the door.

“… Ah.”

At that moment, a sharp pain pierced her groin. Her gen!tals complained of pain in her [email protected] Maybe she really was hurt just like he said.

Thinking about it, she wanted to cry. It was the most terrible pain she had ever experienced in her life. Vivian squeezed her eyes shut and got up. She pulled out random clothes from the closet, threw them on, and flopped on the bed.

‘What the hell happened?’

The more she looked back on what had just happened, the more confused she became. It felt more like a dream than the dreams she usually had. She couldn’t believe it, and she didn’t want to believe it.

Perhaps it was because she had suffered a lot in such a short period of time, but sleep didn’t come easily. Vivian couldn’t even close her eyes. Whenever she did, their mouths overlapped, their skin touched, and the hot act came to mind clearly.

“Ugh!”

Suppressing her mixed emotions and burying her face in her pillow, she kicked her legs. How could she see Roger tomorrow, and what could she say about what happened today? Her mind was a churning and throbbing mess.

Vivian couldn’t sleep until dawn.

* * *

When morning came, Hamel found Vivian sitting cross-legged on her bed and screamed in shock.

“Morning! Oh, Lady. What’s wrong?”

“… Hamel.”

Vivians sunken in eyes and low voice created an unusual atmosphere. Hamel, unfazed, came rushing to her bed.

“Yes Miss? Where are you hurt?”

“…It might be better to just die.”

“Huh?!”

Hamel, who was habitually tidying her messy sheets, opened her eyes wide. But Vivian’s gaze was still directed forward. Her empty eyes reflected her resignation.

“What do I do?”

A little later, the time to meet Roger would come. Vivian was more afraid of it than death.