Chapter 163: Inside the headspace

After Lin places his hand on top of their hands, the world turns dark, and a single blurry light floats a distance away. Ian looks around his empty surroundings, and with the dim light shining at a distance, he can see the light outlining Lin's figure by his side. 

'What is this feeling?' Ian examines himself because he is experiencing emotions that do not belong to him. He feels a heavy regret, sorrow, and guilt piercing into him like a lance. The emotions burn inside his chest like hellfire, like a punishment for a sinner.

Ian looks at Lin, discerning that these feelings belong to Lin. Those flames shape like sunflowers, and they spread like the sea.

"We are walking into his headspace. Young man… Follow me close so that you don't get lost."

They soon encounter the blurry light they saw at a distance and find that this light is a swirl of water that looks exactly like a portal. The light shines through the wall.

Lin steps into the wall of water and finds an incredible resistance. With each step, his foot rubs the sole of his shoes thin. Even so, he continues to look forward, stepping into the light one step at a time. When he walks out of the water wall, he collapses onto the ground, heaving for air. 

"Are you alright?" 

Lin lifts his head to see Ian extending his hand to help him up. Unlike him, Ian has easily walked past the first mental barrier like a walk in the park. Lin lets out a smirk with some huffs of mockery to himself.

His son trusts Ian so much that the man does not seem to suffer the mildest of resistance. It is normal to experience some resistance because everyone has their secrets.

Lin scrunches his face with that thought. He hisses. Shouldn't his son have at least some resistance against this man? Why is his son so trusting towards this man? Shouldn't Kyrie have his guard up a bit more?

Lin scuffs at his thoughts and looks at the water wall. 

'I am his father, so why the hell is he putting so much resistance, huh? What is there for me not to see?'

Lin does not take Ian's hand and gets himself up. He scuffs again, making Ian flabbergasted at Lin's sour mood. 

Ian wonders if overthinking is hereditary. 

Lin looks around the white hall where the ceiling and path are shaped into a water ripple collection. They walk on top of the water as they witness the neverending extension of tall white walls and water portals. 

Lin frowns at the complicated structure in Kyrie's mind. Unlike other people's mind maps, there are some hints to indicate where to go. For instance, inside the mind, there should normally be objects that they like or something they find symbolic. There should be panels of memories and photos of people the person remembers.

In Kyrie's mind, the walls are blank with endless portals that do not indicate where they lead. The headspace is like an emotionless monotone landscape. 

"Mister… Do you know where we should be going?"

Ian looks at Lin, scratching the back of his head while looking around lost. Suddenly, Ian feels someone grab his hand. He looks down to find a kid. 

The kid has almond brown eyes, pale skin with a peach blush on his cheeks. The corner of his eyes gently edged upwards like the tail of a calligraphic brush stroke. His hair is dark as ink, short and well-groomed - long on top with short sides.

"Kyrie?" Lin calls the kid.

Ian looks at Lin surprised before returning his gaze at the miniature size of Kyrie's actual appearance. His heart gets impaled by the cuteness, and he grips the fabric on his chest.

Kyrie furrows his brows at the sight of Lin and hides behind Ian while tightly hugging the thigh. 

"Why are you inside my headspace, old man?" Kyrie's mature but light voice comes out of his kid-sized body.

"I…" Lin finds himself with his tongue-tied. 

'I want to see your mother…' Lin frowns, unsure how to express himself, 'I wish to know why you looked so disturbed meeting me again.'

Lin only knows that he has left a mess for his family after getting transmigrated back to his own world. No matter how much he begged the goddess, she never told him what happened to his family.

Ian senses the thoughts and turns to Kyrie, "Your father wishes to know why you looked so disturbed when you saw him again."

Kyrie's pupils glisten, and he looks down to hide his expression from Lin and Ian. 

Lin does not expect Ian just to blurt out his thoughts to Kyrie, but his shoulders feel lighter once those words are said. Seeing Kyrie look away with unwillingness, Lin slowly gives up on the chance to know. 

Kyrie walks away, taking Ian. His small hands can only grab onto Ian by three fingers. Lin lowers his head, and he dips into his heavy emotions. Having a weird connection to Lin's feelings, Ian opens his mouth to try to convince Kyrie.

"Old man… What are you standing there for?" Kyrie stops walking to look back at Lin.

Lin's face lights up, and he quickly follows behind while looking at Kyrie's other hand. Ian lifts the corner of his lips, feeling Lin's desire to take it. 

Kyrie stops in front of one portal and turns to Lin, "This is the place that you are looking for. You are looking for mom, right?"

Lin remains silent and takes a minute before entering the portal with some determination in his eyes. Ian tries to follow, but Kyrie does not move from where he is standing. Confused, Ian looks at Kyrie, holding his fingers tighter.

Ian crouches down to meet with Kyrie's eyes, "Can you share this piece of your life with me?"

Kyrie's eyes shake, and the hold on his hand from three fingers turns into one finger. Kyrie nods, but because his core is shaking, the white walls start to shake.

[I am not as sunny in the past as when I am with you…]

Ian widens his eyes when he suddenly hears Kyrie's internal monologue, "It's alright. Me too."

Kyrie blinks in surprise when Ian responds to his thoughts.

[Ian can hear my thoughts?]

However, Ian does not seem to respond again, so Kyrie tilts his head in confusion.

[How did Ian hear my thoughts all of a sudden?]

Watching Kyrie's young confused face, Ian laughs a little. Kyrie blushes and rubs his small hand on Ian's finger nervously.

They walk in the portal, and the scenery suddenly changes completely from the monotonous hallways. They walk on top of a small hill, watching a never-ending plane of sunflowers. The warm summer heat kisses their skin, and their bodies break a light sweat as they walk towards the sunflowers. The sunflowers stand nearly their same height, and they are all neatly planted into columns. 

Ian closes his eyes from a bright flashing light consuming his vision. When he opens again, he sees the back of Lin watching some of Kyrie's earliest memories of his wife, Annalise. The woman has tight, wavy, ash brown hair with green almond eyes. She wears a delicate and warm expression.

Annalise is crouched down while laughing at Kyrie for eating the sunflower petals, "My baby, don't eat the petals! Look, honey! Look at our silly son! Hahahaha! Do you think the sunflower petals are edible? Hahahaha! Don't search on google! They are edible?"

Annalise tastes them but scrunches her face like the five-year-old Kyrie, "It tastes sooo bitter! Don't eat them too, silly!"

She huffs while putting her hands on her hips, "Didn't I tell you they are bitter?!?!" 

She laughs at Lin for trying the sunflower petals too. She wipes her tears squeezed out from laughter.

Ian and Kyrie join Lin to watch the memory like ghosts of Christmas past. 

"As expected of my son, you really had a photographic memory. You even remember this…"

Lin turns to Annalise and wishes to touch her face, but his fingers dive into the image like a ghost. Ian and Kyrie quietly follow Lin as they watch Kyrie's normal happy family until 10. Then, all of a sudden, the atmosphere changes. The memories that always shine under the sun turn to the narrow streets under the moon.

Annalise frantically runs with Kyrie in her arms without any care of the gutter water splashing to her. The rapid palpitations and moments of gasps for air rang close to the ear. From a moment of weakness, her leg gives up when landing on the ground. She launches forward, scraping across the uneven asphalt floor. Annalise quickly parted herself from Kyrie to see if her son suffered from the impact. She lets out a sigh when Kyrie only suffered minor scratches. He looks frozen in shock. The splattering sounds of water rush closer, so she stands up again to flee. Her sleeves are torn apart from the impact, showing the ripped skin and blood on both of her forearms.