Chapter 351 - Burden Of The Heart

After having a long conversation, the two friends then drove back to Lisa's boarding house. Throughout the trip, the atmosphere that enveloped the car was quiet and a little awkward. Perhaps this was the result of her distant attitude, which had been very obvious lately, especially towards Rangga.

Like it or not, Lisa had to keep her distance so Rangga didn't have feelings for her. In the deepest part of her heart, she did not put her love as a lover towards him. Her feelings for Rangga were that of a friend, and she would try her best not to let the man fall in love with her again.

Lisa could not lie to her feelings, no matter how much she hated Oscar who'd repeatedly hurt her. The truth remained the same— her heart was still tied to that golden haired man.

Less than a few kilometers away, Rangga's black Mercedes arrived in front of Lisa's boarding house. However, the man suddenly pulled over at a deserted crossroad. 

Lisa started to sense something strange. Why did that man suddenly pull over? While trying to get rid of that bad feeling, Lisa thought she must be overthinking a lot. Perhaps Rangga wanted to buy something at a shop nearby.

The man turned off the engine of the car. With a heavy sigh, Rangga sighed and blinked. He glanced at Lisa who was sitting in the front passenger seat then said, "Lisa... Can I say something?"

Lisa began to feel suspicious towards him. She didn't want something unwanted to happen to them both. With a cautious face Lisa replied, "What is it?"

"Are you sure there is no place in your heart for me? To replace Oscar?"

The question that Rangga had just asked instantly gave Lisa chills. Why did this man still insist on wanting her love? Didn't she make it clear that she didn't have any romantic feelings towards him?

Lisa slowly shifted from her seat, getting ready to get out of the car any time Rangga did the unexpected to her.

"Rangga, did you not get it? I said I didn't love you and I never will. We're just friends. I can't return your feelings," Lisa replied. Her voice sounded sharp.

"Lisa, how could you do this to me? Can't you see how sincere my feelings are?" Rangga's voice was irritated. This was the first time Lisa heard him pressuring her.

"Are you crazy? How are you different from Johan if you keep going like this?"

Without saying much, the man gripped Lisa's wrist tightly. His touch didn't feel like usual. The grip reminded Lisa of her traumatic past.

"Rangga, what the hell are you doing!? Let go of me! Don't be weird!" Lisa shouted as she tried to escape Rangga's grip.

The man with black curly hair looked into her eyes closely, like a hungry tiger ready to pounce on its prey. "Lisa, don't tell me if you haven't moved on from Oscar. Just be realistic, Oscar doesn't love you. That bastard Caucasian only loves Clara. The proof is that he chose Clara over you. He had the heart to cancel your wedding, right? Do you still deny the fact that Oscar is a jerk?"

In a difficult and helpless position like now, Lisa suddenly became restless and panicked, causing the hair on her arms to stand up. She had never seen Rangga look so pushy and aggressive before.

"Rangga, I'm your friend and I respect you as a friend I can rely on. But still, my heart doesn't call for you. Please, don't force me to love you! My feelings for you are just friends, I don't have any romantic interest in you, and I never will! Please, understand my feelings!"

"Lisa, you are stupid, aren't you? It's clear that damn white man is only using you to satisfy his endless sex drive! The only girl Oscar loves is Clara. What do you want to be? A homewrecker!?" Rangga replied sarcastically.

Hearing the man's sharp words offended her a lot. She gritted her teeth as she brushed Rangga's hand which was gripping her wrist.

"Rangga, your bastard! You don't need to know about my life and feelings! I don't care if Oscar and Clara end up getting married, have children, dying in accidents, I don't give a flying fuck! What is clear is that I can never fall in love with you! Come on, send me back to my boarding house!" Lisa shouted loudly.

Silence returned to envelop the two of them. There was a pause after Lisa threw the last sentence which made them stare at each other as if their gazes had collided.

Rangga was at a loss for words. He returned to his seat, looking dumbfounded as he gazed at the road ahead, trying to organize his chaotic thoughts.

"Sorry, I.. I lost control. I shouldn't force you to love me," Rangga said quietly. He didn't look at Lisa's face at all.

Lisa clenched her palms, getting ready in case the man decided to attack her. Her feeling was starting to say something bad was going to happen any minute. She didn't want Rangga to turn like Johan and did something to her in a quiet alley.

"Let me tell you again, I will never fall in love with you and I will not be your lover. Please accept the reality," Lisa said firmly without hesitation.

In return, the man sighed and then rubbed his face. He turned to Lisa's face again and said, "Sorry, I'm sorry. I was really impulsive just now. I promise I won't be impulsive like this anymore."

Lisa listened to Rangga's apology and began to loosen her guard. Her heart was honestly touched by the man's apology just now, but she couldn't possibly show weakness and wariness in front of a man who once loved her.

"Alright, walk me to my boarding house. I'm so sleepy!" Lisa told him curtly. She crossed her arms while straightening her previously crossed legs.

***

Arriving in front of the boarding house, Rangga began to look grim and guilty. The man regretted that he failed to keep his impulsiveness in check, which made Lisa uneasy.

There was no good night or goodbye between the two. As if Lisa was a taxi passenger, and Rangga was the driver.

From behind the dark glass of his car's window, Rangga watched Lisa walking into her boarding house until the woman finally disappeared from his sight.

The weight of the world couldn't even compare to the burden that weighed his heart down right now. Without much thought, the man immediately stepped on the gas pedal and drove away from Lisa's boarding house.

Meanwhile, Lisa returned to her room with mixed feelings of annoyance and restlessness. She did not regret what she said just now. In fact, she didn't love Rangga.. That man should have understood how she felt, who had been reluctant to be involved in a romantic relationship ever since she was tricked by Oscar, a man she could never forget.