Chapter 419 - Who Am I?

Drifting in a pool of murky water, Marcus wondered where he was. But another question soon came to him.

'Who am I?'

He felt like his head was all jumbled up and no thoughts about who or what he was seemed to form coherently.

'Maybe if I see my face it will help.' He thought

Yet as he stood up, he felt his balance was off and he stumbled.

Immediately he could feel that his legs were not right, and he thought that maybe he was injured.

Except when he looked at his legs, he saw that one of them was a slender leg of a woman and the other was thick and muscular like a man's.

Startled Marcus fell back into the pool of murky water and was fully submerged for a moment.

Sitting up he moved his arm to wipe away the water in his face and saw that his arm was not even human, but a pure white wing.

Seeing this his mind began to panic and Marcus began running away.

He did not know why he started running, but he just felt like he had to get away from where he was, that this place was the problem.

Only no matter how far he ran it seemed that the murky water was all around him, and his misshapen body was staying the same.

Until he saw it, a clear patch of water that seemed to be reflecting the light of a half-moon, half sun.

Walking into the pool Marcus seemed to become at ease for an instance. That was until he looked down and saw his reflection.

His face, his torso, no his entire body looked like some sort of patch work of many different creatures.

Some were bigger than others, but Marcus looked at the horribly grotesque form that he was, and while he was not sure who he was, he knew he should not look like this.

"I see you have made it here."

Turning around to look at the voice, Marcus saw a shimmering figure that unlike him who was some mix match of many things, was a being that was like a blank white and black canvas.

"Who are you?" Marcus said to this formless being.

"Oh, I am you and you are me. I am the infinite possibilities of what we could be, and you are all that we already are." The other Marcus said back

Hearing this the Marcus that was an amalgamation of creatures began feeling exploding pain in his head, as waves of memories and emotions began to play out in his mind in a mad cacophony.

Falling into the water he began shaking around in pain when the other version of him came and yanked him out of the water.

"No, no, no. there is no reason to try and accept it all at once. We can take this one at a time." The other Marcus said.

After that the images of a young boy with brown hair played out, and Marcus saw the memories of himself back on Earth as he grew up and became a lawyer as he wanted.

"Now are we the young man who worked hard towards his dream and became an assistant DA to make the world a better place." 

However, as Marcus was about to nod his head, feeling a warmth in this the other form of him yelled abruptly and said, "Oh too bad, this it the one thing you can never go back to. Remember this Marcus already died."

The scenes of his last day on Earth then played out as he escaped numerous life-threatening dangers, until he went to sleep, and everything went black.

But before he had time to feel sorrow for his lost life, the scene changed again, but this time it was a completely different person. 

A young woman with a scared face showed up, and she was playing with her little sister.

"Or perhaps we are the loving sister that would do anything for their little sister."

Memories of Irene with Lilia then played out before Marcus' eyes. Memories that seemed so familiar.

And at one point the memories seemed to shift just ever so slightly, and things became even more nostalgic as he saw the sister's determination to save her sister from slavers after receiving a miraculous awakening.

After that it showed all of the times Marcus had with Lilia while he was in his form as Irene, showing the love and care the two of them had together.

"I see we are fond of this one are we not? But there are plenty more options, no need to pick one without seeing them all."

Everything changed once more, this time showing dauntless adventures. Fighting off bandits to protect a caravan, delving into a dungeon to farm monster parts.

Fighting against perilous odds in a free for all fight and coming out victorious.

Searching unknown areas, exploring dangerous dungeons, fighting bosses that were leagues stronger than most, all in search of wealth and glory.

"We could be the adventurer. Always delving deeper into the unknown. Finding out things that no one every has. Discovering lost ruins forgotten by time."

However, again before he could get attached to this one it all shifted once more, this time showing a blazing furnace and the sounds of clanging metal echoed all about.

"Are we a forgemaster? Someone at the height of our craft that makes peerless weapons and armor for those we deem worthy. Do we work with metal day in and day out to improve our skills until we are the best?"

Changing again this time Marcus saw a ceiling of bright crystals and an open forest that he knew was his domain.

"Or are we a beast who rules over the sky of our domain. As we fly there is no one that can challenge us, and we strike fear into those that see us. We take what we want when we want, and none can question our authority."

Shifting once more the next vision showed Marcus as a noble who grew up having everything he ever wanted and being incredibly talented.

So talented in fact that the world bored him, until he found the desperate screams of those that begged him for mercy.

He felt a sense of elation everything he whipped the slaves he had bought, and they cried for forgiveness saying they would never make another mistake.

Of course, there was no mistake to begin with, he just enjoyed hearing them scream.

"Ah, the horrible noble. We could be the son of a powerful viscount, able to play with whoever we want whenever we want. We could even find a group of like-minded friends to play with. The more the merrier."

Moving on things became different again, this time showing the life of a woman who lost everything to a rotten noble.

Yet, she used her anger and grief as her drive to rise in the ranks of a criminal organization until she had enough power and clout to get revenge on the noble that had killed her husband and son.

After that she stayed loyal to the organization rising even higher and becoming one of its top enforcers.

The scenes then shifted over and over again, showing the memories and emotions of every being that Marcus had devoured the soul of up until this point.

But the last one that it showed was one of the most vivid as the life of a noble man who became a great knight flashed before him.

"Yes, we could be one of the protectors of a kingdom. Our status is high and almost everyone looks up to us. Sure, there are some that are stronger, but sometimes talent is not enough. We simply need to work harder. Our goal of becoming the strongest is still ripe."

Marcus shaking his head was not sure what to do. He had been shown so many possibilities, but which one was him? Which should he choose?"

"Oh, but there is one more you cannot forget about. There is still one path you have not explored yet, and this one is my absolute favorite."

Next Marcus saw himself as a formless creature similar to his other self that was currently guiding him, and he watched as all of his other possibilities every other thing he could be got devoured.

He watched as a horrifying monster began eating people by the hundreds, by the thousands, until all that was left was a world of death, devoid of anything but him.

"Yes, that is right. We could be the soul devouring monster that reigns supreme. We would eat any and everything, becoming stronger and stronger until nothing was left. A cacophony of souls that grows and grows until we reach the pinnacle and become a god. This is our potential. This is the best path we could take. Why be one or a few things when we can be everything. Now come, let us live up to our potential. You know don't you. We already have plenty of delicious food waiting for us. They sit unsuspecting believing us to be an ally. That girl, the one with the pretty hair and fluffy ears. She is so trusting, so easy. She rests not far from us defenselessly. We can eat her soul first. It will give us even greater power. Come on it is time for us to wake up and realize our potential. We shall become the strongest being that has ever existed." 

The other Marcus began raving even more like a lunatic talking about how glorious their rise would be. But this helped give Marcus the clarity he had been searching for.

"I remember now. You are the part of me that I like the least, and never wanted to give into."

Hearing this the other Marcus turned around and a smile made of half-darkness and half-light formed on its constantly shifting head.

"Ha, you never wanted to give into me. You have been relying on me since you got to this world. Do you not remember, we have killed thousands already and devoured countless souls? You use my power so readily when it suits you. Just recently you devoured the soul of that already half dead great knight. Why, you had no need to do that? One more strike and you could have ended it. But you wanted his power. Whenever you are in trouble you eat away at your own soul without hesitation. Do you think just because it regenerates that it truly comes back the same?"

"Look around you at the mess that has become our soul. It is muddy almost everywhere, and if you look further, you can see the malignance. Every time we are torn apart and put back together or add another part, things become like this. But that is only if we cling to the notion of ourselves and try to fight it. Give in and become everything that we devour, and we shall no longer need to worry about being torn apart and become a soul that is full of tumors."

Sighing Marcus looked at the other part of him and said, "You are right."

Smiling the other Marcus began cackling and said, "Good. Then let us forget about everything and begin. We shall eat all of these rebels and then move onto whatever is next, until we have had everything this world has to offer."

However, Marcus put his hand up to stop the ravings of his other self and said, "No you are right that I have become reliant on soul devour. I was warned that it was an ability that could destroy me. And using it does bring me closer to becoming a true monster each time. But I promised Lilia and myself that I would never become a monster that slaughters indiscriminately. I cannot deny that you are a part of me, but I know that you are not what I ever want to be defined as."

Marcus' patchwork form then began to shift as he took the shapes of every different being he had every eaten the soul of, until he finally made it back to Irene and then himself.

However, he did not fully take either form as both were who he was at this point.

"I am who I want to be. Nothing more and nothing less."

The memories and emotions of everyone he had devoured began to disperse as Marcus let them go, expelling them from his soul leaving only their forms to remain at his disposal.

"So, this is your choice for now. But it does not matter, I will always be here waiting. Eventually you will give in, and we shall become the monster we were meant to be."

The other Marcus then began to fade, and Marcus said, "Oh and you forgot one thing. I am also the great spirit of light and darkness; I am not only a monster."

After he said this the murky world around him cleared up and the barely visibly sun and moon in the sky became brighter and darker respectively.

A bright and sunny day was then seen across one half of his spiritual world, and the other was a dark night illuminated by only the stars in the sky with the silhouette of a new moon just barely visible.

However, even as both forms were opposites, they sat in perfect harmony together, and Marcus once again felt at peace.