Chapter 207 - 206

Kai exhaled, pacing back and forth with his hands entwined behind his back. Step by step another thought popped into his mind, new information, new troubles, everything suddenly seemed so blurry, even the clear feelings he had, like the hate for his mother, every little bit had suddenly shifted leaving him with completely nothing. Maybe coming back was not good, maybe this place wasn't for him anymore, he couldn't stop telling himself that. 

"At least your oath is broken." Lun said, stopping the endless monologue in his head. He was with Soran and Lun at the moment. One fo his friends sitting on an armchair while the other sa on the bed, both of them observing him as if he was a ticking time bomb. 

"Would I be cruel if I said I still can't see her as my mother?" Kai asked them, his expression sad. He couldn't change his feelings, he knew that if he wanted to be the better person he could just let things go, try to understand everything that Cecilia had gone through but just the thought of the past, all the things he went through were still too vivid, too hurtful for him to simply let go of them.

"No you're not, this woman has acted like a monster. Yes, she had her reasons but you're the one to decide what you want." 

"I just feel like I can't forgive her." The young prince confessed, a deep frown on his face. "But that makes me feel guilty."

"Do you know what I think?" Soran asked, making Kai look at him. "We don't forgive others for them, we forgive for ourselves, so we can feel alright and move on. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting and it should happen only when you're able to. The guilt you're feeling is because she is your mother and she will never stop being the woman who gave birth to you. We don't get to choose our family but we can choose if we want them in our lives or not, no matter how harsh it sounds. If you choose to forgive your mother one day, you should do it not because everyone else tells you it's the right thing to do but because you are ready to move on. You forgive for yourself, to find peace and not to appeal to others who tell you you should do so." he advised him.

"Exactly. So do what your heart tells you. If you want to forgive her, do it, if you don't want to then don't. If you need time, then take time, we are immortal for fuck's sake you all act like we will die tomorrow, what if you forgive her now or in thirty years. She will be too busy anyways to notice." Lun added and noticed how Soran shook his head. "What? Am I wrong??" he asked both of them.

"No, you're not." Kai said, sitting down and crossing his legs. His eyes focused on the floor, his heart racing at the thought of what happened today. He didn't wish for his mother to die, he didn't want her gone so that had to mean there was something still there, sleeping in his heart but he was scared to awaken it. What if he did and nothing changed? What if he took that leap of faith just to meet with the icy cold vampire queen again and not his mother? "I…I guess you're right, only time will tell what is going to happen." he mumbled. 

"You got all the time in the world. Unless the bloody people come for you. Then you should really settle your unfinished business." Lun joked.

"I doubt that they are still bothered by Kai. He hasn't stepped outside ever since he came to the palace and he has kept a low profile if you exclude what he did with that perverted woman. It is going to be alright, do not worry about them but well…now that your oath is broken, what are you going to do with Philip? He will be coming here soon." Soran asked him. 

Kai had almost forgotten about that. Amidst all the chaos and the commotion Philip had been pushed to the side in his mind but now, at the sound of his name the clock seemed to tick faster. He was going to be here soon, before him with his pack as their new leader and he, he was not bound by that oath anymore, he would be able to talk to him, tell him the truth. A small smile bloomed on his handsome face, like the purest of lilies, he hadn't smiled in a while but such a simple thought was enough to bring him to life. 

"I…I can talk to him now." he mumbled, not even able to believe it himself. 

"Yes, you can be together." Lun told him but Soran chose to remain quiet. "You can talk to him, even if he is angry he will hear you out. Maybe things can be better for you. Your father will also defend you with your mother. Your luck is changing my friend." Lun told him, patting his back with an excited smile.

"Is it? Really?" Kai asked, unsure. He wasn't used to anticipating happiness, he didn't want to get too comfortable with positive feelings, he didn't want to feel his heart get teared apart if he actually failed once more. "I want to talk to him but what if he doesn't want to see me? He was angry."

"Then we will force him. Dragging a werewolf here is the simplest of the things we've done." Lun said, winking at him and making the prince chuckle.

"You think?" 

"I am sure." his best friend reassured him.

"Soran, are you…" Kai began saying, but he didn't finish his sentence, what he was intending to tell him was taken away. 

"Whatever it takes for you to be happy Kai. You know that's the thing I want the most." the white haired vampire answered. 

"Then I guess I will talk to him. Maybe this time, things will be different"