Chapter 185 - 184

He couldn't believe it. How wrong he had been all this time, about everything. He had pushed Kai away, tortured himself and the vampire prince just because of a misunderstanding. 

Things were not the way Mika had said, the story had nothing really that would make Philip hate Kai, at the moment all he could feel was love, heartbreaking, bone crushing love while his chest ached because of the guilt.

He had been such a jerk. To Kai, to Reina too who wanted to help him, warn him, all because he had blindly believed Mika. His friend wasn't at fault either, he already knew that. He should be mad at himself, no one forced him to believe him, no one told him that Mika's story would be the only way. Philip had simply been blind and that way he ruined everything. 

The werewolf took in a deep breath, still rooted on his bed he looked straight ahead at the wooden wall so many thoughts passed through his mind. He had no idea what he should do now. He had been so cruel. He didn't even want to think how Kai would be feeling, how hurt and lost he was. Somehow Philip felt like he was responsible for the prince's return to that horrible kingdom. Just so he could get away Kai had decided to leave, even though he always dreamed of escaping. 

His hands on his sides had formed rage filled fists. He wasn't angry at anyone but himself. He was stupid and immature, he had pushed his soulmate to such distress all because of what someone else told him. He hadn't trusted his gut when he looked at Kai's face and all he wanted to do was hug him, kiss him. Philip had believed it was just a beastly urge, a bitter reminder that he had no true control of himself while the truth was that Kai hadn't done anything wrong, that's why the wolf inside of him hadn't stopped loving him.

A sigh escaped his up to now sealed lips. He kept scolding himself, his hazel eyes locked at nothing while the image of Kai's hurt expression flashed before him like a nightmare. He had ruined everything and had no idea how to fix it.

He threw the sheets away from his body, suddenly feeling extremely hot and stepped on the floor barefoot. He had to do something, he had to fix this, get Kai back. He wore his shoes and changed his clothes in a hurry, hopping here and there, losing his balance just to be even faster. He grabbed the door and opened it, finding himself in front of a very beautiful purple and pink sunset.

The forest was magnificent. This was where his pack was supposed to be, in nature, deep inside into the beauty of the earth. He loved it and it had the strange effect of immediately calming him.

Philip looked around, seeing a few people take a walk but in general no one was there. It was probably dinner time, he hadn't really checked. The people greeted him, recognizing him as their new Alpha and he nodded to preoccupied in his own thoughts for an actual conversation with them.

He ran away, hearing his footsteps echo in the quiet night while he tried to think of a plan. He wanted to see Kai, he needed to. Things had to be fixed, he couldn't simply let the love of his life believe he hated him. For all eternity, in every life Philip was his and that didn't change, not this time. He doubted it ever would.

"Philip" he heard a familiar voice call and he stopped unwillingly. He turned around and locked eyes with Mika who was jogging towards him with a questioning expression. "What's wrong where are you going?" His friend asked him.

It wasn't a good time for Philip to actually talk with Mika. The red haired would not take the news well and chaos would begin but Philip didn't want to lie. Also deep inside he felt a bit angry, wronged by his best friend and annoyed even because he doubted his lover because of him. It was obvious that Mika didn't like Kai, he never did but how could he so easily assume he had been the bad guy? The Alpha had so much on his chest, on his mind that he felt at some point his whole body would explode.

"I remember everything. It's over" Philip stated and Mika smiled.

"That's great!" The red haired exclaimed. "Now let's go. Everyone is waiting to hear from you in the hall. They are all excited." He told him but Philip shook his head, refusing to follow him.

"I won't come with you, I am sorry." He stated and the werewolf frowned, a huge crease creating between his light color eyebrows as he processed Philip's words.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked.

"What's wrong is that you have been wrong all this time. I believed you and now I pushed Kai away from me. I hurt him." Philip said, an expression of distress on his face.

"I was wrong? I am sure that this vampire bastard killed you! What are you talking about?" He said.

"First, don't talk about him like that." Philip said, his voice strict. "And secondly yes he did kill me. Because I was fucking poisoned and went insane. I killed a bunch of people and I would kill Kai too if he hadn't stopped me. How could you miss such an important detail?"

"It didn't matter." Mika said and Philip froze. He examined his expression, the way he looked at him.

"You knew?" He asked.

"The fact that he chose to kill you does not change Philip."

"You knew! You knew that I was poisoned and you didn't tell me!" Philip shouted. "why did you alter the story Mika?" 

"I did not know. At least I wasn't sure about it. Because I think it's irrelevant! What does it matter why he killed you? He did it anyways and got to move on with his life while you were dead!" Mika shouted and right after he was done talking he heard Philip groan. He was frustrated, angry even at him.

"It is very relevant. There are parameters in every situation and...and...ugh! Why do I even try talking to you! You are at fault for ruining everything. I lost him" he whined.

"I did not force you to make that decision." Mika said coldly and even though he was right in a sense Philip felt hurt. He looked at his friend, realizing he had no intention of apologizing and regretted the fact that he pushed Reina away for him. He had made so many mistakes, they would be hard to count. 

"I shouldn't have made you my Beta. I shouldn't have trusted you. First you try to kill Kai, I forgive you, now you lie to me about something so important. Why Mika?" He asked.

"Because I wanted to protect you. I wanted you to have a better life this time! Do you know how hard it will be to be with him? He is a vampire Philip, wake up. This whole thing was doomed from the start."

"How do you know? How can you decide and be sure about it? You always talk about being doomed, that a mating bond with a vampire won't work out. How do you know? You don't even have a mate!" 

"I know! I fucking know because I've lived it. I had a vampire mate and you know what you pea brained idiot? She is dead. Not like werewolf dead, she is dead dead. So I fucking know, I know a lot better than you think but if you want to ruin your life and in the end lose him because he will die then go ahead, be my fucking guest." Mika said, leaving Philip stare at him with his jaw dropped.

He had always wondered who Mika's mate was, why he never talked about them. He seemed to avoid conversation and questions about them all the time as if he wanted to pretend they did not exist. Well, the mystery had been solved in a very angry way. 

Philip sometimes believed that maybe Mika was somehow problematic, like he was never assigned a mate so he didn't have one. It happened from time to time every few centuries but he had assumed wrong. Mika had a mate.

A girl who he had loved with all his heart, someone he wanted to be with but lost her. Mika's face seemed so sad as he angrily confessed his own truth, his own life. 

"Mika..." Philip mumbled not knowing what to say.

"Sometimes all of you seem to forget that we are not just some supernatural creatures from a story. We are cursed. Witches cursed as and even though we found a way to live with it some of us are still affected by it Philip. So do as you wish but remember.. He is not like us, if he dies, then it's over and no, I didn't want to kill him, just scare him away."