Chapter 162 - [Bonus ] 161

They walked quietly right next to the other, no words spoken, just John stealing glances from the handsome man next to him, thinking what would happen from now on. He didn't really have time to think, things happened so fast his thoughts were tumbling like a huge stone, not stopping at the end of the road. 

Soran was beautiful. He looked frail in a very romantic way. John didn't know how else to describe it. When he was younger the werewolf used to love to draw. He would see things, people and then the undying urge to transfer them into paper would become unbearable. It was his way of showing how he viewed things, his way of preserving that feeling of absolute perfection forever. He loved to draw, the smell of the paper and the dirt of the pencil as he shaded where the light couldn't touch. He loved observing and seeing the lines and the shapes of the things that got his attention. 

That feeling though had disappeared. Ever since he had lost his home the urge to draw had been gone since he couldn't see the beauty in the world so easily any more. Drawing was just a means to get money and tattooing started as a means so he could get his does. No matter how shallow it  sounded John had used his talent once, one of the things he believed they made him himself just to feed his addiction. 

Ever since Soran came into his life though things seemed to change. His fingers were itching again and every time he observed his face he could imagine himself drawing him. He could envision the outline, the shading and the expression he wanted him to have. John could see his pose, the clothes he would wear or the absence of them. It was as if he had already painted him with his heart, red ink creating a lovesick portrait. 

"What are you thinking about?" Soran asked him and the young man jumped, startled. 

"Nothing really." he mumbled, his ears getting red from embarrassment. 

"John…" Soran called out and the werewolf looked at him with his big eyes. He looked like a young deer. No matter the tattoos, and the kind of rebellious exterior his face was sweet and innocent. The vampire sighed, seeming perplexed as he talked. "Forgive me. My attitude has been a bit weird lately. I don't know what has gotten into me." he apologized and John blinked. He raised his hands, and shook his head, in shock. 

"No, no. It's alright." he told him, a small smile on his face. "It's fine. Things are frustrating. We are all stressed and everything is a mess. I don't mind if you're looking for somewhere to vent. I am fine with  it, you can even slap me if you want or whatever." he said and Soran chuckled, finding his words entertaining. 

"I wouldn't do that." he answered him and raised his arm, patting his head. His dark hair was short but still they felt soft underneath his pale palm. John felt like a child that didn't stop him from blushing though. "You are certainly the most interesting vampire I've met." he said.

"I am?" John asked surprised, his eyes round as he stared at him with excitement, making the vampire laugh once more.

"Yeah, you are kind. It's rare."

"You're kind too."

"Oh, not really." Soran said. "I just don't find any satisfaction in the things other vampires do. That doesn't mean I am kind."

"I think you are." John insisted and the vampire stared at him, seeming a bit irked all of a sudden. That was the most important thing John had to think about. The fact that the vampire before him, the one he described so easily as kind would have moments like these. He would change, get annoyed and be rough with him. No matter how it hurts, John would have to learn to accept it. The truth was he had no faith in himself. He didn't believe he could make Soran love him and in a way he had given up. Being next to him like this somehow was enough. He didn't want to be greedy and then get disappointed. The feelings that would form in him, he was scared of them, actually terrified of what he would do if a wave of sadness like that hit him. The young werewolf didn't think Soran would ever love someone like him, someone who was lacking in every aspect. He didn't have money, he wasn't really handsome, tall or strong. He was a werewolf that probably smelled like wet dog and well, he was an ex addict. His resume wasn't really something he could brag about. 

"Sorry." John mumbled, noticing that Soran was annoyed by his expression and the man blinked.

"No, I am sorry I…I don't know what…" he mumbled, his mind trying to find an explanation for his reactions. 

"Then do me a favor." John said, interrupting his thoughts.

"A favor?" 

"Let me draw you." the werewolf said, a shy smile lingering on his pink lips as he watched Soran's surprised expression.

Maybe he was a bit greedy after all. 

There was no denying it. John was in love. Just by looking at Soran his heart would flutter like a baby bird, learning how to fly. He could feel it in his chest, the heart trying to escape so it could meet him. It was comforting but at the same time a small torture. Love was. Ups and down everything happening in the secluded walls of his mind. Scenarios and thoughts of how things would go, all gathered in one very crowded space. 

John looked at Soran excitedly as he accepted and he couldn't hide his happiness. 

He had never believed he would find something or someone he would want to draw again.. He had stopped believed perfection existed in this dreaded world but right now, while Soran stood before him he was sure, he had simply chosen  to be blind all this time because the man in front of him was perfect, from head to toe and he, as an artist had to capture that, in his heart and mind, in his piece of paper, preserve it, forever.