Chapter 160 - 159

It felt weird for him to listen to someone else explain his story. He had no idea how much his brother knew or what he was actually going to say. Xan could be wrong in lots of areas, his understanding of the events could be lacking but still Kai allowed him to talk about everything and in the end he was proved right. 

His older brother knew everything, from beginning to end he explained about his story as if he was the one living it. It didn't take long for the younger prince to get emotional after the story was done. The reminiscing of everything was too much to handle and his blue eyes became teary, the thoughts of everything a burden, like a rock on his chest. 

Many times he had wished for Xan to stop, the words that were linked with the events unbearable but he understood that the truth needed to get out. After two hundred years for once he had to share those dark memories, have someone else know of the pain he went through. 

As the tears escaped from his glistening eyes he felt Lun's palm land on his shoulder, squeezing it as he looked at him with a depressed stare.

"Why didn't you…" 

"Why didn't I ask for your help?" Kai asked, completing his sentence. "You were my best friend, I didn't want to put you in danger. Everything happened so fast that I didn't know what to do. I was an idiot." He said, dropping his head, ashamed to look at the people around him.

"Boss, you're not an idiot." John told him, his dark eyes looking at him with a saddened look. The young werewolf had had many thoughts, speculations about what could have happened. He liked to think about it a lot, it was a mystery, Kai's past but he had never imagined something so heart tearing. His Boss had been so kind to him, from the very first moment they had met. Yes, he didn't talk a lot and he always had a cold aura surrounding him but he took him in, he protected him, he helped him. Seeing him in so much pain hurt him too. "You are amazing. It must have hurt a lot, going through all that on your own. If I ever meet that mother of yours I…"

"Our mother did what she thought was best." Xan said, pushing back his glasses and looking at the young werewolf with a judgemental expression. Xan's words were followed by a scoff from Lun, who stood up right in front of the crown prince, looking down at him.

"Even now can you say that? After everything she did to Kai? You knew the whole story, everything about what your little brother went through and from the very first moment you came here you did nothing? You're ridiculous." He insulted him. Xan's body tensed, his lips turning into a thin line as he tried to keep himself in order. He didn't want to start a fight now, there was no point.

"I did not know anything while it happened. Also our mother, she had no idea that the Nightshades were trying to kill Kai or that dog of his. She just wanted Kai to stop being with him, that's what she had agreed but these people. They are psychos." Xan said.

"Yeah, because imprisoning and having your own son tortured is such a normal way to deal with things." Soran commented.

"That's why you need to come back." The crown prince announced. "Mother is sorry. She might not say it but she is. She has people everywhere looking for you, she wants to bring you back, protect you from them. They are still searching for you, you know. The Nightshades. Only in the palace will you be safe and you know that." 

Kai raised his head. After everything he didn't really feel like blaming anyone. He didn't have the strength in him to feel angry with no one except himself. He was the monster, he was the one who didn't think, he was the one that ripped Philip's heart off his chest. If he had actually taken some time, if he wasn't so reckless, if he had been a bit more cautious, none of these things would have happened. Now, everything was gone and he didn't even have the chance to explain, look at Philip in the eyes and tell him how much he loved him, how he meant everything to him. 

The prince wanted to fall on his knees, beg for forgiveness but he knew something like that wouldn't happen. The werewolf had disappeared not wanting anything to do with him and even that was his fault. If he had actually talked to Mika I stead of ignoring him. Tell him how he cared about Philip, be honest with him then maybe he wouldn't have revealed everything. 

"I don't know what I am going to do from now on." Kai said, being honest about not having any idea of what the future would bring. Life seemed once more meaningless.

He had learned to live in a world where he felt numb, unfazed by the happenings around him. A day was just hours and a year was just a few days. He didn't find any meaning in it and simply let his life pass, day by day, month by month. With Philip's appearance though everything changed. The universe was so brutal, giving him a spark of happiness, the fuel to live in this world again just to have everything taken away from him in the blink of an eye. Whenever Kai let go the world seemed to plot against him. 

"You should come back home then." Xan proposed. "Is there really anything for you here?" He asked.

"His mate is." Lun told him. He never really liked Philip, it wasn't a dislike it was simply that he thought of him as a side character. Bland and it surprised him how Kai had taken an interest in him. He wanted his friend home too but there would be no way he would let him get dragged home because Xan wanted it.

"Yeah, the mate that literally preferred to jump off a window injured than to be in the same room with him." His older brother said and Kai felt like someone had just shot an arrow to his heart. He wasn't lying but he wished he did. 

"I think he should take some time . Clear things out in his head. It's too early for him to decide what he wants. So many things have happened lately." Soran suggested 

"Boss, don't give up." John said and the white haired vampire looked at him.

"Then what do you want him to do? Keep hurting over and over again? Some things are simply impossible to happen" he said, his tone judgemental as he stared at the young werewolf. John shriveled in his seat, guilty.

"You're simply saying that because you…" 

"Me what John?" Soran asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Because you like…"

"Don't do this now." Lun told them, his eyes traveling between the two and Soran bit his lip trying to stop himself from saying anything else. John nodded, feeling bad and looked away, not sure if he wanted to get scolded any longer. "Kai...take all the time you need. I will make a few phone calls, have a new house arranged and we can stay there."

"There is no need for such things. Kai will return back home…" 

"Boss should do whatever he wants!" 

"My studio." The prince mumbled, speaking for the first time in a while. "I want to open it again. It helps me." He announced and John nodded, a proud smile on his face while his brother exhaled disappointed. 

"Do as you wish." The white haired man said, walking out the room, bitter that what he wanted didn't pass. Lun patted his back, forcing Kai to look at him. His eyes were red, stains of tears on his pale cheeks and his best friend sighed. He hated seeing him that way.

"Things will be alright. You're strong." He told him and Kai gifted him a saddened smile. He was never strong, he simply looked the part. He was never alright, he was just pretending to be. 

"Boss, I am sorry for asking but...if Philip remembers on his birthday. Won't he remember he was poisoned too?" John asked. He didn't know if he should ask something like that at such a moment but he couldn't help but be curious. If Philip knew he was poisoned then things could turn out well, at least that's what the werewolf thought. 

....

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