Chapter 108 - 107

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Kai had left him alone after a while. They had talked about random things, he had heard the word happy birthday many times and he ate his little cupcake. The first birthday present he had gotten in years. 

The sweet taste of buttercream still lingered on his tongue, the remaining paper, colored in a rainbow manner stood there, on the ground until he found the courage to toss it out.

He had lied to his boss. He had said he didn't know who his mate was even though he had understood it from the moment he had opened his eyes. How could it be possible not to know when his heart was racing so fast and his body was warming up just at the thought of his name. John felt uncomfortable, as he stayed in the four small walls of his room he couldn't think of anything else. 

He didn't expect anything, he didn't think Soran and him would end up being a couple but still no matter how hard he tried to convince himself about it, an instinct deep inside of him kept disagreeing with him. He sighed, his body plopping back on the bed, his arm resting on his eyes to cover the strong light of the yellow lamp.

"I lied." He mumbled, feeling bad about it. He didn't like lies, he had decided to live an honest life since he had been given a second chance. He had lied to Kai without a second thought, not thinking about the rules he had set for himself. 

He sat up, his eyes glued to the door as he breathed in, puffing his chest.

"Boss will understand. He will help me." He said and shook his head, deciding to stop being a coward and talk to Kai. He had been through it, he knew about being in love with someone you didn't belong with. He would be the best person to guide him through the mess that he now called his life.

He walked towards the door, grabbing the wrapping of the cupcake on his way, meaning to throw it out but then he remembered he hadn't seen any bins outside. So he rushed to the toilet and threw it in the garbage. He wasn't really fond of trash, he liked a clean space. 

John didn't find it weird how he had never seen other residents in this shabby place. Even for him it wouldn't be a first option, especially with the way the receptionist allowed unknown people to roam everywhere. At least the place was quiet, he liked that, no shouts, no weird noises through the neighboring rooms, just silence.

The werewolf walked slowly to Kai's room, knocking hastily on the door and seeing the vampire prince appear before him.

"Hey, is there something wrong?" Kai asked him, they had been together a while back after all. 

"Yes." John stated, making him frown. "I mean no, kind of. Can we talk? It will only be for a little while. I promise" he told him, worried that he would waste his time. Kai moved to the side, letting him in and the young werewolf saw an exact replica of his own room, the only difference was that Kai's had a Soran inside too.

He gasped,not expecting him to be there and Soran raised an eyebrow, noticing his peculiar reaction.

"What's wrong?" He asked him and John smiled awkwardly.

"Oh, nothing you just scared me" 

"I didn't do anything." The white haired man said. There was something different in his tone. John didn't realize it immediately though, he was too worried about what he wanted to say and the fact that the vampire was there.

"What's wrong John? Did something happen?" Kai asked him again, joining them and sitting next to his friend. The werewolf was standing before them, standing from one foot to the other, anxious as if he was auditioning for a talent show. Soran stared at him with squeezed eyes before he spoke.

"He wants me to leave" he said and John moved his arms, his brown eyes wide as his cheeks flushed red.

"No, no it's not that….I just…."

"He might want to talk to me in private. So leave." Kai said, looking at Soran with a bright smile. 

Soran tilted his head to the side, a blank expression on his face as he stood up.

"Sure, sure." He mumbled, walking away without even saying bye. His attitude was a bit unusual, John finally started to see it and stared at him with a worried expression as he headed out.

"Don't mind him. He is just cranky because he had to feed off a human that wasn't his. He told me he threw up and all but well it gets easier. Until we get rid of that idiotic Alpha we will have to forget our usual habits."

"And the shop" John added and Kai giggled.

"Yes, that too sadly. I miss the job" the blond man said and John, nodded, agreeing with him. Things were a lot easier back then, now every day seems more complicated than the previous. "Is that why you wanted to talk to me? About the job? Don't worry about money, thankfully we have plenty of that…"

"No, no...it's not about money" John said, his voice getting quieter. He had decided to talk to him but now that he was there he felt insecure. Kai noticed that, how he fondled with the hems of his sleeves and the way his face faced downwards. He patted the spot next to the bed and John sat next to him.

"You can tell me anything. I won't judge you." Kai encouraged him.

"Boss, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." 

"Knowing now all the things that happened when you and Philip got together, if you were given the chance would you go back in time and stop it?" John asked him. Kai was slightly taken aback by his question, blinking a few times before a sad smile appeared on his face, his colorful eyes looking down as he thought of his answer.

"No, I don't think I would change it." He said, his voice showing confidence.

"Why? So many bad things happened. You lost your home, he died, you were miserable for so long, well you still kind of are, so why not choose not to go through all of that again?"

"Because it was worth it. In a very twisted way. I don't know how to explain it to you that well but the truth is after Philip died I did wish to go back, keep him away from me, make sure he won't die that I won't kill him but as the time passed I realized that I couldn't sacrifice the moment we had together. They were too precious to me. The way he talked, how he smiled, how I felt when we were together even if we always had to hide. I loved it all, they had given me a kind of happiness I didn't know existed so...why are you crying?" Kai asked him, gently wiping his tears away. John had started crying. He could understand what his boss was telling him. Even though him and Soran were not like that, even those little moments he had spent with him, the comfort and the warmth he had provided him, he didn't know if he would be able to give it up.

Kai's fingertips gently touched the skin underneath his eyes, making the tears disappear. He wanted to cry more but he tried not to, the vampire looked worried.

"Boss, I don't know what to do. I can't believe something like that is happening to me." John had said.

"Is this about your mate?" Kai asked him, catching up pretty quick. The young werewolf nodded. "So you know who it is?"

"I knew all along. I'm sorry I lied to you." He apologized and Kai smiled gently. 

"Don't apologize you dummy. It's your life. I'd be glad if I could help but you don't owe to tell me. You decide if you want to share it." 

"It's just….I was embarrassed."

"Why would you be embarrassed about your mate?"

"Because he will never want me. It's hopeless."

"I don't think so. A mating bond is sacred. It might take some time but they will come around."

"It's Soran" John announced dryly and Kai's eyes widened. He was dumbfounded for a second, not believing what he had just heard. He shook his head slowly.

"Okay, okay it's not impossible. Soran liked you, he is nice to you."

"I confessed to him and he called me a kid. Also he is a vampire."

"Yes. About that. Vampire werewolf mating is a bit hard. He will start hating you" Kai said. John gasped, almost feeling as if he was going to faint. It seemed like things could only get worse from here.

"What do you mean hate me?"

"It's his instinct denying the bond. You have to make him love you or he will hate you. But don't worry I will help you. It's going to be fine!" Kai said, trying to comfort him. Unfortunately John did not seem to believe him. He stood up, filled with anxiety to the brim, almost like an overflowing cup and started packing back and forth.

"Boss, look at me! I am average. I am an ex junky. I do not have money, I look like a freaking gangster, I have tattoos everywhere. I am definitely not a royal and in comparison to him I am an immature kid, also I am a werewolf. I think that it will not be fine. It will be shit. Fucking shit." He said, filled with passion.

"First of all!" Kai exclaimed. "You are not average, you are very cute, adorable even you definitely don't look like a gangster. As you said you're an ex junky meaning you are strong and willful. You are an amazing person and Soran does not care about titles. You will just have to approach him the right way. The attraction is there you just have to find the right buttons." Kai told him. "And I will help you" he added with a sneaky smile.

"But boss…"

"No buts. No! You have to be brave and approach this positively because…" Kai tried to say but his sentence was cut short by a knock on his door. It was Lun, speaking.

"Your boyfriend is here and he looks in trouble" he said, dropping the bomb and then leaving.

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