Chapter 76 - 75

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His body was heavy. Of course it would be. An almost two meters tall man with his build would definitely be a burden to lift. To Lun though it wasn't that much of a problem. The truth was he was actually kind of enjoying it, getting up the stairs while holding him in his arms. He kicked the door of the room open and waltzed towards the living room, gently leaving Xan on the bed. After laying him down he stared at him for a little while, thinking.

He was truly a fool. Everyone was saying that and he couldn't object. Being in love with a man like him had been a torture since day one. At first it was because the crown prince would not notice him. To him Lun was simply a child, his brother's friend and then he turned into the reason his life got ruined. Xan blamed him so he wouldn't blame himself. Lun believed he shouldn't do either of those things. Kiula died a long time ago but he couldn't look past it and he blamed the person that was closer, the one he could harass and swear at.

Even while knowing all that Lun couldn't really stop caring about him. Maybe it was because he fell for him while he was young. He was more like an unfilled desire rather than love, that's what he told himself sometimes to delude him. He knew the truth though. Every time he looked at him he was brutally reminded of it. He loved him, he loved Xan and he would never love him back. 

He sighed and gently pushed away a few strands of white hair that were hiding his features. From his pale skin, to his snow white hair and his icy blue eyes. His characteristics were close to Kai's, it was just that his friend's hair was a bit more golden and his eyes were a mixture of green and blue while Xan could be described as the embodiment of winter. Inside and out.

As he pulled away his hand, after fixing Xan's hair the crown prince grabbed him, opening his eyes as if he had just resurrected from the dead. 

"Wakey, wakey" Lun sang to him and the prince clicked his tongue, sitting up.

"You broke a chair on my head." he stated with hateful eyes. He was still holding his wrist, pressing hard on the tender skin but Lun did not attempt to stop him.

"Did I? My memory is not that good you know" he teased him. Xan pulled his wrist, making the vampire hiss as he was pushed forward and closer to the crown prince's face.

"Do you have any idea who you're messing with?" Xan asked him between gritted teeth and Lun smirked. The handsome vampire tilted his head to the side, his dark eyes scanning Xan's face filled with interest.

"You can show me" he whispered seductively and Xan pushed him back, releasing him from his painful grip.

"You're embarrassing. Don't you feel the slightest bit ashamed of yourself? Talking like that" Xan insulted him and stood up. He was filled with blood, from his hands to his shirt. If you looked at him from head to toe you would find for sure almost everywhere little spots of crimson. He looked at himself in the full body mirror with the square black frame he had in his room and sighed, dissatisfied with his appearance.

"I think you look sexy" Lun said and winked at him playfully.

"You disgust me."

"At least I cause you some kind of emotion."

"You're ridiculous"

"Xan…"

"What?"

"What happened to Kai back then?" He asked him, his expression turning serious. The prince stopped looking at himself and turned towards Kai's best friend. He met his eyes and laughed, devilishly so and Lun sighed, shaking his head.

"Why would I tell you?" He asked. "I have nothing to win from this. I came here to get rid of moonshine, nothing more." He said and began unbuttoning the buttons of his dirty shirt.

"Then what do you want? I will make a deal with you so you will tell me." Lun proposed. Xan stared at him as if he had just said the funniest joke in the world.

"What makes you think I would ever make a deal with someone like you? A low life scum that belongs to the gutter. Your word, or your deals mean nothing to me" he said.

Lun smiled, feeling his heart slowly crack. He had been used to it, he had thought of it a few times. He was tough, he wasn't affected by him anymore. He was lying, Lun was a terrible liar. 

"Xan…"

"What is it again?" 

"If I died...would you be happy?" Lun asked him. 

If someone looked at him, the man with the mischievous grin, the notorious party animal, the man who embraced being a vampire better than anyone, the mafia leader no one would believe he would make a question like that. Why would he? He had everything. 

Sometimes though everything is not the thing you want the most. Maybe he was being selfish. Standing in front of a man who had denied him so many times he couldn't remember anymore, asking something like that but he too felt vulnerable, more than anyone. He had no one, he didn't think he had a family, his only friend was gone for two hundred years and the only person he had ever loved hated him so many times he couldn't help but wonder. 

If he died, would anyone cry?

"Delighted actually, why do you ask?" Xan said, not thinking too much about it. Lun shook his head, his face turned towards the floor. 

"If my death made you happy I wish I could die." He mumbled and Xan stared at him, in shock for a few seconds.

"What did you just say?" He asked him but Lun already had hidden his feelings. He raised his head, his smile bright and his voice cheerful.

"Nothing, nothing at all! Get to bed now sweetie because tomorrow we have stuff to do. Rest well" he told him and as he walked away he winked. 

Lun stepped outside, closing the door behind him and his mask fell, landing on the floor and smashing into many little pieces.

"I wish once in my life…" he whispered. "...I could be lucky."

....

I feel bad for Lun.. T.T

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