Chapter 72 - 71

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The carpet was dirty and rough. He was sweating as he stood on his knees, his eyes wide, it got harder and harder for him to breathe. He looked up, spots everywhere as he tried to focus his eyes. His ears were ringing. He placed his palms over them, trying to stop the annoying sound but nothing would change. He simply sat there, utterly defeated and saved by luck he felt too weak to even attempt to get up. 

His face was wet, his tears had turned into waterfalls the moment he stayed alone, his heart beating so loudly it would escape his ribcage. For a second the thought of ripping it was tempting, grabbing the muscle and pulling it out, detaching himself from everything that just happened and life itself. Philip took a deep breath, trying to hold his scream in. His back was touching the wooden bed, his eyes locked on the floor, scared to look around.

He had to go, he had to leave this place now that he had the chance but why wasn't he able to move. Mikain had said that he hadn't been acting like a man. How was he supposed to act? How was he supposed to feel? He violently rubbed his eyes, hard with the back of his palms and stumbled. He slowly managed to stand up. His footsteps resembled that of a drunk man, his posture curved while he still couldn't control his breathing. He sounded like a dog during the summer, he also felt like a dog, a misused stray. 

His hand slipped from the doorknob and for a second he started to panic. What if he didn't make it out in time? What if Mikain returned? What if this was all a sick game to torture him and keep himself entertained? The room suddenly began to spin and Philip almost screamed when he watched the door slowly open. He was back, he was back, his mind was screaming and he felt like his  heart would stop. 

Thankfully it was Mika. Hesitant at first his red haired friend walked in, seeing Philip in a state of shock. He sighed, approaching him while worry shone in his dark eyes. 

"Come on, let's go." he told him in a gentle tone and Philip, finally feeling like this was over, almost fell unconscious in his arms. Mika had no difficulty in pulling his friend out, even though his strength was minimized by a lot. 

He placed his arm over his shoulder and offered him support, taking him away in silence as they headed to his room. Philip was thankful, not only for the help but for the fact that he wasn't saying anything. He preferred it that way, quiet and peaceful. If he was asked what happened he would collapse completely. 

"Thank you." Philip mouthed as Mika got his room card key from his pocket and opened the door. The lights were off and the clicking sound of Mika flipping the switch suddenly bathed the room in light. The werewolf blinked a few times while his friend led him to the couch, making space for him to sit. Mika seemed like a relatively neat person, the truth was though that he was extremely messy. Not dirty but he had his own way of organizing things. Head to push away two books and a leaflet about russian lessons so Philip could sit down. 

"You're so lucky. Extremely fucking lucky." his friend told him as he sat on the armchair opposite of him. He crossed his legs, resetting his head back as a deep sigh escaped his lips. The piercing on the sides of his ears glistened under the light. How many did he have? Philip had never asked him about it. 

"I…" Philip tried to speak but Mika raised his hand, stopping him. 

"There is nothing to be said now. Just lie down and calm down." his friend told him. Philip though didn't want to lay down, he didn't want to calm down either. He didn't really know what he haunted except the fact that being here, knowing that Mikain was so close made him nauseous. 

"I don't want to." Philip simply said and Mika stared at him with a question mark scribbled on his young face. 

"Then what do you want?"

"To leave, to disappear, to never come back." Philip said with passion, his hands clenched in fists as he looked at his best friend. Mika's eyes widened, a memory from the past flashing right before his opened eyes and he hissed, feeling a piercing pain on his skull. He shook his head, trying to kick out the disturbing image without Philip noticing. 

"You can't do that."

"I can. I want to leave, I feel like if I stay here any minute longer I will throw up."

"Then go to the bathroom and throw up."

"Mika!" Philip exclaimed. "Are you listening to me?" he asked. Mika stood up, clicking his tongue as he stood in front of his friend. He placed his hands on his shoulders, and got to his eye level. 

"Then what? You will leave now and? Will you become an omega? You think that that bastard Mikain will let one of his strongest warriors salute him and run away? You will die, you will die if you keep being with Kai, you will die if you try to run away. Every single mistake you make might lead to your death. Open your eyes already!" he shouted at him. 

"So being miserable and alive is better?" Philip asked him and the red haired froze. 

"You can always fix being miserable, but you can't come back to life from the grave!" he reminded him. "Philip, I know what you went through must have been shocking but please, take some time to think. Even a second is fine. Leaving the pack is not the right choice and you know it." he said, his voice turning gentler. Philip shook his head and stood up. 

"I...just need some time away from here. Will you cover me?" he asked his friend.

"Where will you go?" Mika asked back

"I don't know." Philip lied. "But please, give me a few days. That's all I want." 

"Fine." Mika exhaled. "Reina and I will cover you. Leave now that you can, before Mikain comes back.." he told him and Philip gave him a forced smile.

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