Chapter 106: I Want To Live

"Ilyin, it's alright. I won't let any harm come to you anymore after this," Alena shed tears. The drops of liquid fell down and hit Ilyin. The spirit's nature was ice, so upon hitting her body, the tears immediately froze and merged with Ilyin. The unconscious spirit didn't react, but unbeknownst to Alena, the spirit actually heard her words. Felt the tears.

These subtle things would later come and save her, but that was for another time. As for now, the spirit was just dead tired, and she couldn't think of anything else other than resting her mind. She couldn't fight back as Alena approached her and performed strange actions. With a blurred vision, she was somewhat able to capture the fragile girl's figure. 

The  girl's eyes were burning with passion even amidst her various other emotions. The fire in her eyes, she was very familiar with it. It was the will to live. When she got captured and before she became a puppet, Ilyin was sure that if her eyes were as vivid as Alena's, then that same will would be portrayed. The greed for life. It was one of the most powerful motivators.

Ilyin was still immature when she was taken away from her dungeon. When she came into existence, she was already inside that dungeon, entrapped alone in the freezing cave. Then, one day, men started to come into her dungeon. Her natural instinct was to fight them. To survive, she had to fend off these men and protect her place, her home.

However, there was one group that ended up capturing her in a cage. They didn't kill her. Rather than harming her health, they weakened her just enough that she could be forced into the cage. She was carried out from the dungeon once these men finished off the rest of the monsters that lived in that cave. They exited from a gate, one that Ilyin didn't even know existed inside her home even after years of living inside the sizeable cave.

On the other side of the gate, she was still entrapped, but that matter suddenly didn't concern her anymore. What she was seeing was much more surprising. She was brought into shock. The modern world. There were no caves, no rocky structures, but there were smooth roads, tall buildings, and crowds. She was captured, but she could still see.

However, she realized that she grew weaker once she entered this foreign realm. It lacked magical power, and she began to practically eat her own mana and not the one from the cave's natural production. Within the crowds, Ilyin could spot several people who also possessed mana. The men who captured her also had mana. She was scared, but she was also curious. What world was this? She had never seen it before. It was terrifying and fascinating at the same time.

"I'm sorry... But this has to happen. For the both of us to come out alive," Alena said, clutching the spirit weakly as she began to channel her mana and repeat the steps Aria taught to her.

Alive. Ilyin heard the girl's words and her mind fell into jeopardy. Was she even alive? What was the difference between her and the other puppets? She had a mind of her own and could think. She could disobey her master's orders, even if she would get subdued in the end. All in all, she had more freedom, but was it really that different with the others, who couldn't resist at all?

Each time she was summoned, she liked struggling the most. The girl would feel pain, and she found rejoice in that because she wished for the girl to bear the pain no one could ever live through every single second. Her hatred was just too overwhelming.

Then, it came to a halt. All of her curiosity was wiped clean, as the next thing she was exposed to was a place devoid of colors. It had a strange smell, and the temperature was cold, although not as cold as herself. She then met up with a little girl who she thought was very beautiful. Like a doll, she approached her with a gentle smile. Wearing a white coat, she drew closer to her cage and raised her hand.

She didn't understand the humans' language at that time. She only saw the girl open her mouth and say something, but didn't know what it meant. All she knew was that it had something to do with opening her cage. After the girl stopped speaking, the men behind her, the very ones who put her behind this bars that she strangely couldn't escape from suddenly pulled out black chains and went closer to her.

They chained her. Every single part of her body.

It brought her pain. It wasn't a sharp pain, but a dull, slow pain that caused her to feel uncomfortable. It was then that the torture began to start. The beginning of her suffering.

She was released from the cage and thrown to the floor. She couldn't resist or get out  from the binds, and could only look around in confusion. The little girl she first saw when she got to this strange place, the angelic looking girl, suddenly pulled out a reddish knife and started aiming it towards her way. Repeatedly, she was harmed. She had regenerative abilities of her own, so she didn't die, but she could feel the pain.

The unending pain that only kept adding up, not dropping down in the slightest. When it reached her breaking pain, the girl finally stopped her movements. She thought that it was the end. Everything was finally done, and there was no more suffering for her. She was wrong, obviously.

The girl showed an ecstatic smile. She didn't understand her words, but suddenly she felt a chill run through her back.

Instinctively, she felt fear. Her heart was screaming that the girl's ecstasy didn't stem for something good to her wellbeing. That she needed to escape right now if she wanted to survive. That she couldn't be caught this time around.

Soon came the worst possible pain she has ever felt. The girl began to cover herself with mana. She didn't have that much mana, but she kept conjuring it up further and further until she stopped and looked at Ilyin, the scared spirit.

Then, she chanted cryptic words. Ones that began to enshroud the environment. She felt threatened, and let out all of her power to resist. After that, she managed to break free from one of the chains and harmed the girl. The girl fainted. Her memory of this period was quite blurry since she was excessively harmed, but she remembered that the girl let out a pained scream and fainted to the ground.

She thought that it was time to achieve freedom.

But it wasn't.

She entered a completely pitch black space. She thought that she had managed to defeat the girl, so why was she still  here, entrapped in a place that wasn't her home? Where was this?

A dim light then shone. Showing the rest of the realm. There was another creature in front of her. It was a slime, but it wasn't just regular slime. It had special powers that she couldn't put her hands on since she didn't know much about the world other than her fellow spirits.

She lived in that space until one day, the girl called her out. Overcame with hatred, she launched all of her might and attacked the girl. The girl ended up being injured and fainted again, but her bounds weren't released. She was returned to the pitch black space.

Until now. Right now, she was still trapped in this space. Her master was in front of her. Strangely, this time, she didn't feel that apprehensive towards the girl who she had caused much pain for.

Thoughts began to circulate around her head, this time softer thoughts. She couldn't believe herself.

-I already became a puppet. However, I have a life. If I let myself be used by this girl, I might not only survive, but see more of the world. If she grows stronger, then I will have more time, and my abilities might increase exponentially.

-It would be better to become her ally before she dies here and you die too.

Those thoughts. It all surfaced from seeing the girl's willpower to live and the great lengths she was willing to go to every time she was harmed just to overcome her adversity. Of course, she never succeeded in erasing the curse she had completely. She was aware of that because she lived inside her and knew more or less what condition she had.

However, the girl always persevered through it and came back alive, no matter how hard she was beaten down. Her will to live was truly admirable. All the things she did were to continue living. To preserve her life.

Was it really wrong to want to live?