Chapter 47 - My Heart Seeks...

'Hey, have you heard of the news about the demon attack in Arandel?'

While Aoi and I are walking along the market street towards the Guild headquarters, I overheard a bunch of middle-aged women chatting with each other while peeling vegetables before selling. Scenes like this are also present even here, huh?

'Hm? But it happened few months ago, right? In the capital Arteim if I remember correctly...'

'That's not it! This one happened just last week, in Barchen!'

'Barchen? Isn't that where most of Arandel's military is concentrated?'

'Yeah, I also heard that news just now...they say that thanks to a group of young people that the damage wasn't as severe compared to before.'

'Ah, I just hope that they won't attack Narashel...just what is going on in the world?'

'You said it, sister...'

I felt someone pinch my arm at that moment.

"...Big brother? Is there something wrong?"

"Ah, I'm fine...let's go now." I said to her as I held her hand.

We arrived the Guild headquarters after a few minutes, and left immediately after we received this week's payment from Alisha.

Along the way back to Sandy Fish, I just can't help but to think of what actually is going on there.

This time, in Barchen.

Even though I haven't went there before I know that it's well-protected from any attacks coming from outside. That being the case, the only way for the demons to enter the city is they attack from within.

And for them to do that...

'Trajan...'

Whether he gave all information about the city to the demons before he died or with the help of his subordinates, I still won't forgive him for betraying his fellow citizens for his own cause.

"...Big brother..."

Meanwhile, Aoi's been looking worried for me for a while now.

"W-What is it?" I asked her.

"...Um...it's just my guess but, are you angry for some reason, big brother?"

"Me? Angry? What for...?" I averted my gaze away from her.

"Stare..."

"Haah...you got me," I shrugged my shoulders. "But I'm not angry because of you."

"...Is that so? I'm relieved..."

Aoi spoke happily as she placed her hand on her chest.

"...Actually, big brother...I was worried that you already found out about the broken pottery at the inn's backyard."

My eyes widened in shock. "You broke it?!"

"...I-It's just an accident, I swear! I was playing alone in the backyard when I accidentally pushed the pottery placed on the window!" Aoi replied, her shoulders trembling in panic.

Seeing that my little sister has put herself into trouble, I asked. "Has Saku and Saki found out about it yet?"

"...Uhh...after that accident I quickly threw the shards into the compost pit you made for them."

Aoi looked at me with teary eyes, telling me that she really regret what she had done.

"Well, since you admit that you've done something wrong, I'll just tell them that I'm the one who broke it," I said while gently pinching her soft cheeks.

"...T-Thank you, big brother..." Aoi smiled lightly at me.

-----

Inside our room at the inn, I told her the things I've heard earlier at the market, and asked if she's also aware of the occurrences of such things.

"...So that's why you look angry earlier, big brother. I see..."

"Yeah. And for me to experience it firsthand I must say I really, really don't want to hear or think about it again." I said while looking down, while trying to remember the faces of the ones who saved me from the traitor's grasp.

Come to think of it, all this time I didn't do anything to avenge their deaths. All I did was running away, hiding and trying to erase those painful memories in my head.

After meeting Aoi, I used the pretext of taking care of her as an escape mechanism and atonement for everything that happened to me in Arandel. Even up to now, I'm still feeling guilty because of that.

"...Hearing those stories from big brother made my heart wrench in pain and sorrow. But don't worry, Aoi will be always here for you!"

Aoi jumped on the bed and cling herself on my back, as she tightly hugged me from behind.

Whispering softly into my ear, she spoke. "...If you want it big brother, I can give you the revenge that your heart desire."

"Revenge? Where did you hear that from?"

"...Fufufu," Aoi chuckled. "Hide it all you want big brother, but your heart says it all."

She then placed her left hand where my heart is, and rested her head on my back as she listened to my heartbeat.

"...Big brother's heart is really honest. Aaahhhh~ just listening to it beat faster and faster makes me love big brother even more," she said in a charming voice.

"Ah I get it, I get it! Stop talking that way, it gives me the creeps!" I hurriedly separated myself from her.

"...Hehehe~" Aoi stuck out her tongue.

"But are you serious about that?"

"...Yes!" She nodded.

"Honestly, I never tried avenging someone in my life, or even planned on doing it..."

"...That's not a problem! With me, the Death Goddess around, I'm certain that you'll achieve the revenge that you ways wanted, served hot!" Aoi proudly said, while puffing out her chest.

Uhh...isn't that supposed to be 'cold', Aoi?

-----

"...Well then, I will be your guide as you walk down the path of evil!" Aoi said in high spirits while jumping on the bed.

"Hey, I only agreed to seek revenge for my fallen comrades, not to become like you," I retorted.

This girl...her bad habits just really won't stop coming out of her.

"...But isn't seeking revenge evil in itself?" Aoi asked. "'People who are always vengeful are wrong, and those who always forgive are hypocrites', that's what I believe."

Even the justice system itself is just another term for 'legal retribution', Aoi added. With that said, she believes that forgiving wrongness blindly is the same as lying unto oneself.

"...And since you're my big brother, you can't deny that you're an evil person too!" Aoi jumped and hugged me again.

"I understand. Whatever path you'll take, I'll walk with you always."

"...Yes!"

"Then, how will you help me get that 'revenge'?" I asked.

After hugging me for a few seconds Aoi sat on the bed while facing me, her expression changed into a serious one. "...Though I said that I'll help you, in the end it will all depend on what your heart really wants. Big brother, do you really wanted revenge?"

"Y-Yes..."

"The ones who planned to destroy your hometown and killed your friends--do you want to forgive them?"

"I-I won't forgive them..."

"Do you mind claiming other people's lives as a result of that revenge?"

"I..."

Before I could finish my sentence, Aoi created a black ball of flame on her hand, and pushed it straight to my chest.

"Ha?--HAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

"...You're showing hesitation, big brother," Aoi spoke coldly as she pushed the black flame even more towards my heart, causing it to beat rapidly and irregularly.

"...The more your mind deny what your heart says, the more suffering your body will experience."

Just like a drill, the black flame spin rapidly as it slowly pierce through my chest. Although my clothes aren't destroyed in the process, it really felt like it is.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! HAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

I screamed in pain almost to the point that my lungs are about to burst.

"Ren? Aoi? What's going on there?!"

*knock* *knock* Standing just outside our room, Saku and Saki knocked on the doors in worry.

"Are you in pain, Brother Ren? Shall we get a doctor for you?"

"...Ah, we're just playing here, Saki!" Aoi replied for me. "We're playing a game called 'Who's The Big Bad Dog?' right, big brother?"

Still in pain because of Aoi's power, I shouted at the siblings outside the room.

"BAAAAAAAARRRRKKK!!!"

"I-Is that so? Just try to lower your voices next time so the customers won't hear it, okay?" Saku reminded us.

"...Ah, okay!"

"If you ever feel sick, feel free to tell us immediately!"

Aoi stopped trying to make a hole in my chest immediately after that, causing me to drop face down on top of the bed.

"Aoi...do you really want to kill me...?"

"...If you die just from a small fire, it means that your heart's resolve is very weak," Aoi coldly replied.

"..."

"...Until you can't endure it anymore and your body gives up I won't stop using my power to 'awaken' the evil nature lying deep inside your heart."

Whiiiiiiizzzzzz! Judging from the intense feeling weighing down against me, I could say that Aoi used her powers once again to create an even larger ball of pure darkness, and slammed it on my back.

"Kh...kkkkkhhhhhhhhhhhhh--"

Desperately trying not to bother Saku and Saki once more, I bit on the blanket while enduring the extreme pain which was like my chest being crushed.

'I can't breathe! No good, my lungs are about to burst--'

Crack! I could already hear my ribs break one at a time. Aoi, aren't you overdoing this...?

"Gghhkkkkk--!!!" My lips bleed for a while now when I unconsciously start biting them.

"...Remove all hesitations in your mind, and accept the darkness in your heart in its place!" Aoi yelled at me.

And yet for some reason, even though Aoi's shouting at me right now, I could only voice getting fainter and fainter.

-----

"Huh? Where am I?"

I was with Aoi just a moment ago and suddenly, I'm here in this strange place. I can't see anything, like I'm inside a tightly locked room.

"It's so dark in here...--Hello? Is anyone here?"

I shouted three or four times, but there was no response from anyone either.

"Hello? Anyone? Yoo--"

'Ren...Ren...', I heard a faint voice coming from somewhere, calling my name.

"W-Who are you? And how did you know my name?" I asked the mysterious voice.

This voice...I think I heard it before, I just can't specify which voice is it. The darkness also made things more difficult as I can't see the other person.

'Ren...avenge us...'

'Avenge us...avenge us...'

I heard another set of voices coming from two people.

"Wait, I think I know now who you guys are."

There's no mistake. These voices, they're from...

'Don't let them hurt people again...don't let them hurt people again...'

"Who? The demons?" I asked again.

'Kill all demons...kill all traitors...'

'They betrayed us...'

'All traitors must die...'

"Y-You guys..."

Somehow hearing them say things like that make my arms form goosebumps.

"It must've been too painful for everyone, dying like that..."

'Death...no regrets...'

'A friend...forever...'

'It's natural...helping each other...'

"But still, it hurts me to think that I did nothing as I watched you guys die. Even now I still feel weak and useless whenever I see it in my dreams."

If there's a possibility to turn back time, I would go back and willingly take their place instead. But sadly, it's too late.

'Ren...don't weep for us...'

'It was never your fault...'

'It's fine...'

"G-Guys..." Tears uncontrollably flowed from my eyes. "Thank you very much."

Though I can't see their faces right now, I know that somewhere, they're trying their best not to laugh at my embarrassing face.

"But this won't stand. I need to repay you guys somehow, what shall I do to fully appease your souls in the afterlife?"

When I asked them that there was silence for a moment, then-

'Kill them...kill them...'

The voices spoke to me at the same time as they reverberated around the darkness.

"Kill who? Tell me, who shall I kill?"

'All of them...'

"Who exactly?!"

'The gods...'

Gods...?

'Humans...demons...gods...all of them are traitors. Ren, avenge us...avenge us...'

"W-What does the gods have to do with this? I don't understand a thing coming from you..."

'The General...sold his soul to the gods...'

'In exchange of power...he sold his soul and country...'

...What?

"Are you guys serious? Where did that came from?"

'Only in death...you'll find the truth...', the voices spoke again in unison.

To think that the traitor general has made a deal not with the demons, but to a god...something is really wrong with this world.

"But come to think of it, how could a god nonchalantly favor someone at the expense of everyone? Was he or she an evil one?"

When I asked that, the voices let out a grumble.

'Humans...demons...gods...all of them are traitors...', the voices replied.

Upon death they realized this world, and the realm outside of it, is actually a dog-eat-dog world. The moment everyone's greed and desire takes over the system, everything will soon fall apart.

'Kill all traitors...kill all enemies...'

'Avenge us...avenge us...'

'Avenge us...avenge us...', all of them chanted repeatedly for who knows how many times already.

"I get it, I get it! Quit saying it again and again for hell's sake!" I yelled at them, feeling irritated as their voices overwhelm my ears.

Not only their voices, but my conscience is shouting at me as well, telling me it's not a good idea to listen to them.

"Killing a person is easy, but I'm not sure about killing demons, much more with killing a god. Is it even possible in the first place?"

'With you...everything is possible...'

'Your hands...crush them with your hands..."

"Even in death you guys are still joking," I smiled wryly at them.

'You can do it...'

'Make them suffer...don't show mercy...'

'An eye for an eye...a life in exchange for another...'

'Let your hands mete out swift justice onto your enemies...'

'Enemies...traitors...'

'Become the evil this world needs...'

"I-I will do my best." I responded to them abruptly.

If protecting those who are important to me is seen as evil, then so be it. Aoi being super cute is illegal, you know?

I wanted to ask them a few things, but soon after a few minutes their voices began growing fainter and fainter.

'Remember...live happy for us...and your loved ones...we're watching over you...'

'Sleep early...eat healthy...'

'Never skip...leg training...'

"I won't."

Before I could even say proper goodbyes to them, they left me with one last message.

'Farewell, Ren...protect the young goddess for us...okay?'

Hm? Wait, how did they--

Geez, there's so many mysterious things happening in this place...

"'Protect Aoi'," I muttered to myself.

If that's the case then there's no need for them to remind me of that.

"Now that they're gone, how can I get out of this pla--"

"...Big brother, it's already late in the afternoon." Aoi said to me while looking down at me, her face showing worry.

All of a sudden, the surroundings changed again and here I am now, lying on the bed as Aoi gives me a lap pillow.

"Afternoon..." My head's still feeling fuzzy after waking up. "D-Did I faint or something?"

Aoi nodded lightly.

So that was just a dream, I realized. But for a dream to be that detailed--ah, my head hurts...

"...After I exerted more divine power into your body, I heard a faint snap, then your body gave out. I was afraid that I overdid it and killed you instead, but I'm relieved that you're fine." She said happily.

'If you know that then you should've had stopped in the first place right?', is what I was about to say, but--

"Nope. I don't think I'm ready to leave you behind any time soon," is what I said to her.

"...Big brother..."

"And thanks to you, I think I fully understand what my heart wants."

Though I may not seek revenge in a literal sense, for the sake of my fallen comrades I shall protect the ones who are still with me. Whether they're humans, demons or even a god--I won't let them hurt those who are important to me.

Cannon Fodder, Vice General...lend me your strength.

"...I'm happy that you've opened up your heart, big brother," Aoi said.

"Yeah." I replied.

"...Ah, you haven't eaten anything since this morning!" Aoi said in panic. "I'll bring you some food--"

I stopped her from getting out of the bed.

"Aoi."

"...Y-Yesh, big brother?" She bit her tongue in a hurry.

"I want to sleep on your lap for a little longer."

"B-But, big brother..."

"This...is my revenge." I declared with a clear voice.

The truth is, I can't feel my legs right now because of what she did to me, and I don't want Aoi to find that out.

Hearing those words, Aoi calmed down immediately. Realizing that she feels the same way, she smiled sweetly as she kissed my forehead.

"...I will gladly accept your revenge, big brother."