Chapter 144 - Serilock And Bertson In A Murder Mystery!

I walked proudly ahead in the red light district wearing my mask and cloak. Bertram followed behind me wearing a similar outfit while pulling a wagon behind him. Everyone stepped out of our way and bowed in respect before whispering to each other in curiosity.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, "You smell that Bertram?"

Bertram took a deep whiff, "The smell of sewage and depression?"

"No! It's the smell of money!"

Bertram frowned, "Well money doesn't smell very good."

I clicked my tongue, "You shouldn't be so moody. Today's a good day!"

Bertram sighed while pulling the wagon, "I just don't understand why you couldn't have gotten a horse to pull this."

"Because this is precious cargo. A horse would poop all over the place and the smell would destroy the precious copies of my first yaoi book. Also, the red light district is filthy enough. It doesn't need horse dung adding to it."

Bertram sighed once more. He couldn't help but feel awkward pulling a cart full of naughty book copies. "But it's incredibly uncomfortable for me to be carrying such vulgar books."

I clicked my tongue, "That's why I put a canvas tarp over it! Why are you so worried? It's not like anyone can see into the cart."

Bertram didn't care about this, "But I know what's in the cart... How did you even convince the bookstore owner to buy your books?"

"Well, at first he was really hesitant. He didn't think such a book could be sold. He had never seen books with drawings like this before. He also never sold any that focused on love between two boys."

Bertram mumbled, "It was probably because of the two boys love more than anything."

I continued, "But, I told him to give it to his wife and see what she thought. Then, he sent me a letter requesting dozens of the books! Apparently his wife and her friends became obsessed."

Bertram's face blushed in embarrassment imagining someone reading this kind of book with interest. He mumbled, "I bet you're pretty proud."

I nodded, "I am indeed. I knew this world would appreciate yaoi. It was a shame there was none before this." I thought for a moment and muttered, "Although thanks to that I'm about to become rich."

Although nobody thought that I would be able to sell the books, I had a strong feeling I would be able to. Perhaps not in the more upscale bookstores, but definitely in the seedy red light district.

This was why I knew all that hard work would be worth it. And by hard work, I mean Millie and Mary's hard work. For several weeks I was their manager making sure they wouldn't slack off as they painstakingly wrote all of the books by hand.

Sigh... I really miss printers. It would go so much faster if we actually just printed off pages.

There was something similar to a printer, like a printing press. But that was also still in it's early days of being invented. So the only ones who had access to it were people who ran newspaper companies. Even then it was rare.

It's possible for me to buy one, but it's extremely expensive. Even for nobles. The materials alone could cause someone to go broke, but having one made is even more of a luxury.

That was why very few used it. I knew from my understanding of my previous world that it would be just a matter of time before something easy and cheaper would be invented. So in the meantime I will just have to wait.

Or perhaps I could employ some scientists to invent it... I should allocate some of the earnings from my book to funding that kind of research.

I mostly feel bad for Millie. Watching her poor little hand cramp up from all the writing really tugs on my heartstrings.

Now Mary, I could care less about her hands.

We walked to the bookstore and I nodded at Bertram, "You wait out here. I will go get the clerk. You protect the goods."

He muttered, "It's not like anyone would steal it..."

"Yes they would!" I called over my shoulder before walking in the store.

The clerk saw me and immediately rushed over with a grin, "You're here! And the books?"

I nodded, "They're outside. And my payment?"

The clerk nodded, "Yes, you'll get it once I sell the books."

I smirked under my mask, "Oh really? Because a little birdie told me that you already sold all of these copies. Apparently that wife of yours made sure everyone knew about it."

He paused momentarily then chuckled lightly, "It seems I really can't hide a thing from the Black Death. Very well, follow me."

He walked behind the counter and moved a bookcase revealing a tunnel. Seriously, do all store owners have secret rooms?

He led me downstairs to the safe and opened it. I turned away politely so I wouldnt see the code. He opened the vault and pulled out several bags. He handed them to me, "There, 50/50. Just like we promised."

I counted it carefully and nodded, "Good, it's all here."

He shook his head quickly, "I would never even dream about cheating the Black Death."

I eyed him suspiciously, "You better not. My master has eyes and ears everywhere. If you even had one malicious thought, he would sense it in a heartbeat. And I'm afraid that my master won't be so kind."

The bookstore clerk nodded quickly, "Of course, of course. I would never do such a thing. Your master has really helped my business. When I was being threatened by ruffians, he was the one who scared them off. I will forever be grateful."

I nodded, "Good. I will make sure he knows about your good intentions then."

As we exited the hidden room, I tossed the bags of money into my knapsack. Can't lose this now. The clerk shouted for his two helpers. They ran outside and started collecting the books.

The clerk smiled at me, "Do you think perhaps you could sell me more?"

I smirked, "Well I won't make more of this novel, but we are planning a continuation."

The clerk was happy but sad upon hearing this, "Why wouldn't you make more? Everyone loves it. Don't get me wrong, I am overwhelmingly happy to know that you plan to write a series of books, but it would be really prosperous to write more copies."

"Maybe, but we can also hike up the prices of the books to increase their value. Once I make enough money, I will be able to employ more people to make the copies. But for now, this is all my workers can accomplish."

He nodded, "Very well. I'm sure you'll get rich in no time from them, so I'm not that concerned about waiting."

After the workers finished unloading the cart, I bid goodbye to the clerk and we left the store. As I walked with Bertram, I noticed a crowd gathering in front of an inn. I couldn't control my curiosity, so I ran over.

I bounced up and down trying to see over everyone's head, "Oh?! What's going on?"

One person noticed my voice and turned, "Ah, Lady Sil's husband just died so unexpectedly."

I looked at him in curiosity, "Really? To die so unexpectedly... I can't help but think there's foul play at work."

His eyes widened, "Young master's apprentice thinks so? Well you should investigate!"

He pushed me forward and I allowed him to. I was pretty curious to see the crime scene. It must be interesting if all of these people are gathered around. Bertram saw me go to the front and sighed as he put the cart down. He followed after me.

I went to the inn's entrance and noticed Sil's husband laying on his back with his arms strewn around. His head was rested on one step in an odd fashion and his lower body was on another level in a twisted fashion. It had looked like he fell down right before leaving the inn and landed on its steps outside.

I looked at the body carefully and observed the scene around it. Lady Sil walked over noticing me. She put on a courteous face, "The Black Death's apprentice needs not concern herself with this manner. My husband had been previously sick and-"

I stood up abruptly and forced my hand in the air, "This man's been murdered!"

The crowd gasped. Lady Sil's face twitched, "He has not. Surely the young apprentice is making jokes."

I frowned, "Why are you trying to deny my claim? Could it be that you are deliberately trying to have everyone believe that it was an accidental death and cast blame away from yourself? Did you have something to do with this mans death?!"

She frowned, "I did not. My husband-"

The crowd murmured excitedly, "Lady Sil must have killed her husband!"

"Yes! Why else would she try to pretend it wasn't unexpected?"

"She doesn't even look distraught. She must have killed him."

Lady Sil's face turned red from the slander, "I didn't kill my husband!!"

I glanced at her with an arrogant smirk under my mask, "Oh? Then you won't mind if we investigate it."

She chewed on her lip, "I couldn't bother you to do such a thing. Surely you're too busy."

I shook my head, "Are you scared I'm going to uncover your murder plot?"

Her face turned sour, "No. If you insist on investigating, then go ahead and investigate. I won't stop you."

I nodded and threw my hands up in excitement, "Serilock and Bertson are on the case!"

She blinked, "Huh? Who's that?"

I froze and then sighed in exasperation, "I was making a joke..."

"Oh..."

"Stupid uncultured world." I muttered under my breath. I looked at Bertram, "Come Bertson. Let's investigate the crime scene."

Bertram frowned, "Bertson?"

I shook my head, "Just follow me."

He wasn't pleased, "But why do you want to investigate so badly?"

My eyes sparkled in excitement, "Haven't you always wanted to be a detective? Personally, I've always wanted to be in a detective novel. Solving overly complicated crimes while having a cool catch phrase. Doesn't that sound fun to you?"

Bertram shrugged, "I guess?"

I rolled my eyes, "You're no fun." I turned back to Sil, "Sil, please round everyone up so that I can interrogate them."

She nodded, "Alright." I followed her inside and everyone gathered around in the lobby. I looked at each one carefully and closely. The crowd watched closely from the outside.

One lady raised an eyebrow as I was too close to her face. "What is the meaning of this?"

I pulled away and spoke, "It seems there was a murder. Now, the first person one expects behind the plot is the spouse." I stopped and flung to Lady Sil and pointed, "LADY SIL!"

She raised an eyebrow in irritation, "What?"

"One always expects the spouse first as most of the time, it is the spouses fault. Even worse, you've displayed no sadness upon hearing about your husband's death. Even though his cold and clammy body was right in front of you."

She went to open her mouth but I quickly cut her off, "So that would mean two things. One, you killed your husband. Or two, you didn't care for him because he was a dirty bastard."

She smirked, "He was a dirty bastard."

I nodded, "I knew that. I could tell by his demeanor and appearance that he was most likely a serial cheater. But... Is that reason enough to kill your husband? Perhaps."

She opened her mouth but I cut her off. I flung and pointed to a maid, "You!"

She jumped, "Me!?"

I nodded with a serious expression, "You were his closest maid. I bet you served him more than anyone else in the house?"

She blinked confused as to why she was being pointed out, "Uhh, yes I did."

I smiled, "You even served him in the bedroom."

She blushed instantly. Lady Sil's face turned venomous, "YOU F*CKED MY HUSBAND?!"

Lady Sil charged at her and began to beat up the poor maid. The rest of the people in the inn quickly jumped in to hold Sil back. She flung curse words at the maid while she kicked and screamed.

I chuckled to myself, "Oh how the Turkey has gobbled."

Bertram raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I'm trying out a catchphrase. What do you think?"

He only shook his head in shame. I frowned, "Fine." I shouted over everyone, "Lady Sil didn't know the maid was cheating, that I'm sure about."

Someone from the crowd shouted, "Was it the maid?!"

I smiled, "It could be that the husband had a change of heart. He told the maid their secret affair was over, but she didn't want it to be. So she attacked the man out of rage!"

Everyone gasped once more. I shouted, "BUT! Was it the maid in the library with the candlestick? Or perhaps... IT WAS THE COOK WITH ARSENIC!"

I pointed to the cook and everyone turned to him in surprise. He pointed to himself with a dumbfounded expression, "Me?"

I nodded, "Yes. I noticed that his body was clammy to the touch and he looked as if he had been violently ill recently. That could only mean one thing... Arsenic."

Everyone gasped and turned on the cook. They began to spit out curses at him, "How dare you!"

He shook his head and held out his hands, "No! No! I'm innocent!"

I chuckled, "Chicken and waffles."

Bertram frowned at me, "Really?"

I looked at him, "What? That one's not good either?"

"No."

I sighed, "ANYWAY! The cook may have poisoned him, but the true culprit is none other than.... THE YOUNGEST SON!"

The son frowned, "Why would I have the cook kill my own father?"

I rubbed my hands together, "I'm glad you asked. You are known as the good for nothing son, always drinking and spending time at brothels. Your father was so sick of it, he cut you out of the will! Now this made you extremely angry. So you bullied the poor cook until he finally agreed to your evil plan."

I started acting out the scene, "When your father took a drink of the specially prepared soup, he was overcome with sickness! He staggered while gagging!" I made a gagging noise and started flailing. I collapsed on the ground, "And that's when he collapsed on the ground! Never to breath again..."

Everyone clapped at my acting skills. I stood up and bowed. The others turned to the son, "Did you really do that?!?"

He frowned, "No I didn't! Plus, if anyone's killed father, it's definitely that no good maid!"

As they all argued and accused each other, I looked at the scene and smirked. I pretended to put on a pair of sunglasses, "I guess he should have chosen the salad. YAAAAAOOOOW!"

Bertram frowned at me, "What are you doing?"

I blinked at him, "It's... Sunglasses..."

Suddenly a doctor broke through the crowd and approached the dead man. They all looked at him in excitement, "Well doctor? Was it really arsenic in the soup?"

The doctor spoke calmly, "No. This man died from syphilis."

The room went silent. I blinked, "What?"

He nodded, "Yes. He had a pretty severe case of it. I had only thought he would live for a few weeks, but he actually lived much longer."

"Oh..."

I forgot. I was a profiler... Not a detective...